The Decision

Chapter 14

Clarke was walking briskly down the hospital corridor, making her way to the locker room. After another grueling shift, she was so far passed beyond ready to go home, get something to eat and just crash – crash for days, if possible. The level of exhaustion that she was experiencing would have rivaled even the exhaustion that she felt during her years at medical school. She was just drained, in every possible way. Between work, her difficulty sleeping and the endless buzzing of memories that just kept flooding her mind – she was just done. She wanted to turn them off, really she did – but she just couldn't. In fact, they had been pretty much constant from the moment that she had found herself face to face with Lexa again.

Stepping into the locker room, Clarke quickly undid the lock on her locker and began emptying the contents of her pocket onto the top shelf. Setting down her phone, she realized that she had a message from earlier that day, that she hadn't noticed – and it was from Lexa.

Lexa: So, I had a visitor today.

Clarke felt her brow furrow. Perhaps that message was meant for someone else. Why would Lexa be telling her about her visitors? Not really knowing how to respond, she did the only thing that she could think of.

Clarke: ?
Lexa: Octavia.

Clarke's eyes sharpened quickly. Well, what the fuck was this about? She had spoken to Octavia briefly about the confliction that she was feeling after her very embarrassing panic attack – but she hadn't expected that Octavia would actually go and see Lexa.

Clarke: Dare I ask?
Lexa: Well, you know Octavia.
Lexa: She wants me to stay away from you.
Lexa: I need to know, is that what you want?
Lexa: I'll understand, if it is. I don't want to bring any unnecessary stress to you.

Clarke stared at the messages and frowned lightly. No. That wasn't what she wanted. She knew that Octavia thought that it would be best, but still – it wasn't what she wanted at all and damn it – Octavia knew that! Slamming her phone back into her locker she quickly changed out of her scrubs and made her way out of the hospital with only one destination in mind and unfortunately, it was not her bed.

"What the hell, O?" Clarke snapped the second Octavia opened the door.
Octavia rolled her eyes as she stepped aside. "She called you, didn't she?"
"Texted," Clarke said as she crossed the threshold into the apartment, "and of course she did."
Octavia closed the door and turned to face her. "Really," she shook her head. "I shouldn't be surprised."
"No, you shouldn't" Clarke shook her head. "What did you say to her?"
"What difference does it make?" Octavia shrugged briskly as she leaned back against the door. "Obviously, she didn't listen to me."
"O," Clarke growled, glaring lightly. "Why is she worried about causing me stress?"
"Oh, she's actually worried about something?" Octavia's voice with thick with sarcasm. "Didn't think she had it in her."
Clarke shook her head. "Why are you acting like you hate her?"
"I don't hate her," Octavia rolled her eyes again and pushed up off of the door. "Even she knows that."
"Then what the hell?" Clarke dropped down on to the arm of the sofa.
"I'm still angry, okay?" Octavia snapped suddenly. "Clarke, I know how badly you got hurt, but on the flip side – you weren't the only one," she stepped forward. "I was hurt too – and how do you think it felt, having to watch my best friend, quite literally, fall apart or to watch Lincoln, loose the person in the world that he was closest to – someone who was like his sister," she was ranting. "Damn it, we were a family and she walked out on all of us – not just you!"

Clarke sat stunned as her extremely exhausted mind tried to wrap itself around Octavia's words. There was definitely truth to them, as strange as it sounded, on some level, everyone had been effected when Lexa just up and left. Everything had happened so fast and other than her, Lincoln and Anya, no one else had ever even gotten the chance to see her before she was just – gone.