Naked Came the Vampire (Hypernaturals 1)

Jessica

"Well, Jean Luc: Are those two hippies then too, you think?" she asked.

Damn it! She keeps getting better. "No idea. They are here all the time. They always bring a bag of porn with them. Nothing ever physically happens, at least that I have ever seen. This is a nude beach, not a Temple of Bacchus. I guess this is a warmup for later. Or something. Hell, if I know."

"Maybe... I am not getting a real strong sexual vibe off them, despite what they are reading. Looking at. Whatever. Don't seem to be many articles or even much text." She craned her neck a better look at the porn. "The title of that pictorial says 'Laura gets Laid'. Laura seems unusually nice looking for that kind of hardcore. You'd think he'd at least have a hard-on or something."

My turn to tilt my head. I couldn't read the title at all. "How can you tell, Doctor Crusher? He is lying face down on the towel."

Hah! Everyone knows Jean Luc Picard and Beverly Crusher should have gotten together. Dumb Star Trek writers for not doing that. Come to think on it: I look more like Riker than Picard, and she looks more like Troi with a dark tan than Crusher so that works!

My Imzadi kept looking at them and proved her Betazed ancestry. "I can tell, mon Capitan. He doesn't even have the beginnings of a stiffy, despite the girl next door getting porked on the page."

OK. That made me a little dizzy. She switched to what Q calls Picard and then switched to ... A letter to Penthouse? 

Without looking over at me, my Star Trek amalgam gestured at me with her left hand. Two fingers together pointed at my right thigh. "You, on the other hand, are fully at attention. The only man here ready to service that lovely lass from the pictures in reality. You have been hard since I got here. Even though you are hiding it from me with your leg, I know you are erect. The same way I know he has nothing going on."

She was not looking at me at all! Betazoid for sure. I was doing a good job of not being rude. Damn it!

She is supremely unthreatened by any of it. It is disquieting in a weird way.

She shifted her gaze to the woman. "She is not really turned on, either. Sad really. Laying naked in a beautiful place like this, with your mate, reading porn, and not feeling much of anything at all. Must take a lot to get the hormones pumping for those two."

I surreptitiously raised the right leg further up. Not that it seemed to be helping.

"I can see her nipples aren't hard." I observed.  "Maybe hardcore porn like that does not turn her on. I have always heard that it takes a different type of sexual literature to get most women going. I have never had that difference clearly explained."

"Bullshit" was her one-word analysis.

"OK. Maybe you can explain it then." I challenged. I have to admit this is something of a general point of curiosity for me.

She leaned forward, into the topic. "Is there just one type of man? Is there just one way of depicting a woman that turns a guy on? Are all men boob men? Ass men? Leg men? All men like their lover's body hair shaved? Or not? Skinny? Fat? Redheaded? Blonde? Male? Female? Does every man like sex the same exact same way? Or did they try all the positions in the Kama Sutra? For that matter does every man even like sex? Or are there asexual men? Just like there are asexual women."

I kept shaking my head no as she bombarded me with the questions. 

She pounced. "Yeah: Not even. Why would women be any different? Do you think all women care about is being romanced? Tall Dark and Handsome is all there is? Blue eyes only? Or maybe we all prefer well-endowed men? Rich men?"