Naked Came the Vampire (Hypernaturals 1)

Legends

Jessica made the usual dozen eggs and bacon but for a change of pace, she made herself some pancakes too. The carbohydrate laden flat-cakes did not look or smell good to me. I wanted protein. I craved it. Needed it. The smell of the cooking eggs and bacon gave me hunger pains.

As I destroyed the well-prepared protein-laden food, I decided it was safe to ask some things. "Jessica, you said something yesterday. Want to be sure I have this all straight. That thing about the legend where the male Vampire was as strong as any woman?"

Jessica chewed before answering. She is not eating as aggressively as I am, but she has a good appetite nonetheless. She nodded slowly and was slightly dismissive. "A myth, or an old story. A legend. An oral history. Whatever."

"How does the whole thing go? If I sit on your lap will you tell me a story?"

She indicated me with her fork. "No. If you sit on my lap I'll flip you over, pointy side down, where you will do the most good."

Should could do it too. I was undeterred, if only barely. "OK. If I sit over here will you tell me about it while I eat my eggs and try to recover enough to service your needs?"

She shrugged. "You won't like it. The story part I mean."

From what I put together I already guessed it is not a happy tale. Still, I asked, "Why won't I like it?"

She regarded me somberly. "You are already feeling downtrodden enough."

"I am a poor downtrodden man, that is true. Then you let me into your arms and your bed and on a few other pieces of furniture and you give me a new hope for life again." I said, reminding her of the upside.

"OK. Fine. I warned you. And PS: there is no furniture in this Condo we have not fucked like bunnies on. If it was strong enough, we have now screwed upon it. In the case of the original coffee table, it was not strong enough. The new one is better in that way. Anyway..."

Jessica assumed standard storyteller spoken cadences "Once upon a time, before the surviving written history of humans, there was a male Vampire. Physically, he was amazingly strong. The equal or perhaps even more powerful than any woman. He was created, according to this legend, not from being turned from a human, but born of a male and female Vampire union."

She gave a derisive hiss. "I think the whole damn story may be pure fiction. Like we talked about the other day, I have never met any female Vampires that ever become pregnant after being turned. Ever. Not the ones that have been with humans, and not the ones that have been with male Vampires. Female Vampires rarely have a menstrual cycle. No ovulation means no pregnancy, even if the egg and sperm could merge. Vampires and humans are a different species even if we started as humans. Vampires reproduce by biting and infecting. Not sex."

I agreed. "It makes no evolutionary sense that Vampires would also have babies with each other. Get a population boom, even with the male / female ratio like it is. In the course of a Vampire lifespan, a male could service thousands of women, if reproduction was the goal. You worry about Vamp men biting all the time: Imagine what it would be like if you told them they could not have sex at all. You would have to kill us all."

Jessica looked wistful. "I know: especially you, I think. Still, If I could get pregnant, I would do it so fast it would make your head spin. I have had unprotected sex with over a thousand human men. We may not ovulate often, but at least a few of those times were in fertile windows. IF I could actually be fertile: there was an ovum in position and human sperm delivered. Nothing."

I tried not to think about that. It is something I am going to have to get used to about long life.

She air quoted to punctuate "The 'legend' assumes that the male Vampire was as physically powerful as he was because he was born of  Vampires. Oral history embellishment. It's a very old story. It predates everything we now understand about evolution and genetics. It is easier to assume that it was a mutation. We don't need the whole mother and father of the gods kind of thing. He got built the way the females are built, by the virus. No need to make it more complicated than that. Occam's Razor."

I nodded silently in agreement, not wanting to stop her flow. She went on. "Why he was the way he was isn't really the point in any case. The mythology has it that this powerful Vampire man was evil. Born to Vampire advantages and always feeling those around him were less than him. It's a long story with many garnishes, full of bloody battles and palace deceit. Love and betrayal. Misunderstandings and sacrifice. Bodice ripper shit. A bad man and the women who loved him BS."

Unable to help myself I asked "Any good sex scenes?"

"Many. Also many bad ones" she paused to tease me "Well, assuming you find Caligula to be full of bad sex scenes."

She waited for me to comment. I said reflectively "High production values, but some of the stuff they were doing? Yuch. You know that I do not need to go too far off the reservation to enjoy myself. No need to introduce beatings, Anal, animals or anything like that."

She grinned. "I did know that about you. It is nice to be with a man who enjoys me as I am. Where we have 'been' sexually are largely my preferences as well."

I raised an index finger. "If I am missing something you like, speak up. I can be taught."

Her smiled widened. "Later. Nothing major or that I need or want right now. You are hitting all the right places. As a boy-toy, you do OK."

Sexual banter over, but a warming sexual fire now set for later, she went back to the legend. "The male Vampire terror ended when he was taken out by a brave group of Vampire woman who resisted his charms and came together, making common cause. This group of twelve women slew the evil bastard and freed a grateful people. They became the first Council." Jessica managed to make sarcasm drip.

"Sounds like that legend is more about the way the Council came to be than how shitty male Vampires are." I commented.

Jessica gave an affirmative nod. "Agreed, although it works to keep the boy Vamps in their place too. I think the tale is just that: A tale. Probably some kernel of truth in there someplace. Don't underestimate the power of a legend. A freshly made male Vampire is guilty until proven innocent. There are no rights. The rules of our species are outside any applied to humans."

A tinge of feeling unfairly downtrodden floated in. "A bit unfair to judge all male Vampires by one five, six or even ten-thousand-year-old story."

"Fair is not part of it, my bunny-like friend. That tale of woe, in some part, colors the view of male Vampires in our world. Until proven otherwise, men being men, and left to your own devices, you would rape and pillage and kill for fun. There are modern cases of men doing exactly that after coming over. Given the rarity of the male Vampire, it is possible that the change over is de-stabilizing in some cases. There may be a reason male Vampires are so rare. That not every male can handle sudden power. In particular, sexual power over female humans."

She looked at me, and her expression let me know she was about to give me a hard time. "Let's face it, bunny-boy, the facts are not on your side. Ever since we met you have been bedding me every chance you get. A human female would be dead by now."

As I healed, my refractory period has decreased. "Bed. Couch. Shower. Counter. Over the railing upstairs at night or during the day that one time. Whatever. Should I stop asking for the boon of your sexual favor?". I thought as loudly as I could 'Please say no!'

As if she could hear my thought, Jessica answered. "Oh, No. You need to heal, and nothing heals a Vampire faster than good and frequent sex. I am a Doctor, remember."

She was so deadpan I had to ask "Is that true?". I tried but did not succeed from sounding slightly incredulous

Her eyes twinkled.

My chest tingled.

"It might be. As far as you know it is. As true as the 'Male Vamp born of Vampires' story anyway. I like my story much better." She paused. Looked at a non-existent watch on her wrist. "It's been over an hour. I think you are due for some medical therapy if you are done with breakfast."

"What breakfast?" I asked as innocently as I could manage.

"Guess we'll add 'breakfast table' to the list again. At least I have not had to replace that yet. Me on top this time." She pushed me up, back, and down, mounted, and pulled me to her. A rare display of our disparate levels of physical strength, but she was suddenly urgent.

I may be a boy-toy, but I am her boy-toy. I like her being on top better anyway. Leaves my hands free to roam.

It is a very sturdy table.