{troubled love} bsd x reader one-shots & headcannons

the ada, port mafia, and others as things me and my family has said {hc}

dazai- leave my mayonnaise alone! (my grandmother, marie)

atsushi- you cant compete with me on expiration dates marie! your 20 and i'm 1! (my mother, deb)

kunikida- i read it correctly! i have 20/20 vision! (my father, jeff)

ranpo- you didn't get my cool whip?! are you fucking serious? (my mother)

yosano- *responding to ranpo* yeah, i'm fucking serious? (my father)

kenji- no, i meant you said- never mind (me)

fukuzawa- the only difference is, i'm the parent (my father)

mori- morgan, that's why we pay attention to what car we go to (my mother)

chuuya- we need to drink more wine. (my father)

akutagawa- *responding to chuuya* or we could throw it away? *gets attacked* (my mother)

gin- man, im not gay but she's hella fine (my grandmother)

tachihara- this gun is nicer than my wife (my father)

higuchi- ew, lesbians (my grandmother)

edgar allen poe- this book smells good! (my grandmother)

fitzgerald- money, i heart money! kachow! (my father, sadly)

lucy m- i used to work at a coffee shop called dicks (my grandmother)

fyoder- you'll bow down to me because i'm your life-giver! (my parents at one point probably)

shibasawa- apples are tasty but deadly (me)

———————
my family is full of idiots