It All Fell Down | A Marauder's Story

Twenty-Nine

"I wish you a kinder sea." - Emily Dickinson

     1978 rolled in with more snow, blowing a breeze and a feeling of new opportunity over the grounds of Hogwarts. There was a new buzz in the atmosphere; it was officially the year that the seventh years would be graduating. It was wrapping up, no matter how slowly they wished their time at Hogwarts would go, it was winding down. It was almost time to say goodbye. 

     Unfortunately with the state of the wizarding world, there were just as many bad times as good times. Sometimes, goodbyes came much sooner than anyone had planned. That's how the majority of the group found themselves standing on the outside of the girls' bathroom in Gryffindor tower. 

      Lily Evans was laid against the cool tiled floor of the bathroom on the opposite side of the door. Her hair splayed out around her head giving the illusion that it was on fire. Her legs were pressed straight up and down against the wall. Her tears had long since dried, as if her eyes couldn't produce liquid anymore. She felt hollow, empty, numb even. It was like she wasn't even in here body anymore. She wasn't here anymore; she wasn't her anymore.      

     "Someone's gotta go in there," Remus said as he stared at the door that separated Lily from the rest of the world. More specifically, it separated her from her friends that wanted nothing more in this moment than to help. 

     "Merlin," Sirius sighed in frustration, placing a cigarette between his teeth. "It's like Charlie all over again."

     "Hey," Charlie complained giving Sirius a light shove on the shoulder. 

     Marlene gave her a sad look. "It's true."

     "Bite me."

     "Someone's gotta go in there," James repeated Remus' words, concern dousing his tone. He stared longingly at the door, wanting nothing more than to tear it down and reach his girlfriend on the other side. 

     "It has to be me," Charlie whispered. 

     Peter looked at her. "How come?"

     Charlie frowned. "None of you have experienced the loss of a parent." 

     James stared at her with glistening eyes. He knew that she was right; only Charlie had the slightest idea of what Lily was going through. He wanted to be the one to help her, to help his girlfriend, but it looked like that would be a job for his ex-girlfriend. 

     Charlie walked forward, knocking gently against the wood. "Lily," she called softly. "It's me– Charlie. Can I come in? Lily, please."

     Lily lazily lifted her wand, flicking it to remove the spells she put up around the door to keep her friends out. Charlie let out a surprised yelp as she fell through the door frame. As soon as the brunette landed on the floor, Lily waved her wand again, slamming the door shut and putting the charms back up. 

     "Merlin, Lils," Charlie complained, rubbing her elbow. She scrunched her nose just thinking about the odious bruise that would likely bloom a bright purple on her skin tomorrow. 

     Lily didn't look at her friend. "Sorry," she answered without emotion. 

     Charlie stared at the girl's face, and a strange icy sensation seemed to spread from her heart, trickling through her veins causing her to shiver. Is that what I looked like when James found me? She wondered to herself. 

      Lily did not look like Lily. It was as if she were a ghost of her previous self, and Charlie felt saddened knowing that she would never fully return to who she had been. She couldn't. Charlie knew she never had. When you emerge on the other side of an experience like this, you could never come out the same. Charlie always assumed it was similar to a soldier returning from war; they're back and they are there, but some experiences change a person down to their very core. It was nobody's fault; it was just inevitable.