It All Fell Down | A Marauder's Story

Twelve

"And you're not here to get me through it all." - Lewis Capaldi, Someone You Loved

      "You wanna get drunk?"

     James shifted his view to look at his best friend. Sirius Black was standing over his bed with a bottle of alcohol clutched in each of his hands, eyebrows raised suggestively. James wordlessly reached for the bottle of fire whiskey, leaving Sirius with the bottle of vodka.

     Sirius lifted his eyebrows as he watched James drink straight from the bottle. "You want some mixers for that, mate, or?"

     James let out a deep breath as he pulled the bottle away from his lips, throat burning. "Ah!" He gasped. "No, I'm fine."

     "James," Sirius sighed, as he lowered himself onto the foot of James' bed. 

     "What?" The boy demanded, sitting up in his bed. "What do you have to say to me, Padfoot?

     Sirius opened his mouth before closing it again. He casted his eyes downward, before looking back up at his best friend. "Are you okay?"

     James' hazel eyes flooded with tears as he stared back at Sirius' grey eyes. "I've never felt this way before, Pads," James breathed truthfully.

     "Heartbroken?" He asked.

     James nodded wordlessly, looking down at his bed sheets.

     "It's cause you've never liked someone this much," Sirius said in an uncharacteristically gentle voice. "It's not a bad thing, Prongs. It just means you truly cared for her. Honestly, I think you may have been in love with her, mate."

     James slammed his head back, making a concerning sound on its impact with the stone wall. He scrunched his nose but gave no other sign of being hurt. 

    "Maybe," Sirius said carefully, hand slightly outreached towards the boy. "Don't do that?"

    "Feelings are dumb," James said simply, sounding like a pouting child. He stared at the far wall before pulling the bottle of alcohol back to his lips. 

     Sirius rolled his eyes. "Mate," he breathed. "You've just never had so strong of feelings for someone. Well, other than Lily."

     James looked up at his best friend. "So," he sighed, relishing in the fogginess of his brain. "What do I do?"

     Sirius swallowed. "I dunno, Prongs. Move on?" It's not like I've ever had a serious bloody relationship, the boy thought to himself. 

     James let out a humorless laugh. "Easier said than done, mate."

    "And, that's why we drink." Sirius laughed without humor, tapping his bottle to James' with a clinking! sound and took a swig. 

     "Can I ask you something?" James' tongue felt numb with the alcohol. 

     "Sure."

     "Why haven't you asked out McKinnon yet?"

     Sirius turned wide-eyed to face his best friend. A million thoughts seemed to explode within the boy's brain. I could deny knowing what he's talking about. I could deny knowing who McKinnon is. I could jump out the window.

     "You look like your head is going to explode." James commented, noting Sirius' bulging eyes. 

     Sirius casted his eyes downward. "Nah," he breathed, trying to cover his panic. "Wouldn't want to ruin the curtains with all my brains."