You're Mine

Chapter 26: Counting Days

Lucas handed me a glass of water while I try to get over from the dream that I had. I had my hand in my hands while I look down and try to cope up from the tears I just exploded earlier. Those voices really sounds real and it really shocks me to think that it is just my imagination while I was sleeping.

When I see him handing me the water, my eyes went up to greet his to see what expression he has right now.

I grab the glass and finished it in just three gulps before placing it down on the table. "I'm so sorry about it." my voice was hoarse and I do not know what to say afterwards.

Lucas pulls himself a chair as he faces me, probably waiting for the right time to ask the big question because he looks so lost right now. I thought he was going to deman an answer immediately but I was surprised when he pulls my hand and took it in his lap and made me turn to him.

Our eyes met and I clearly read the puzzled look in them.

Well, it's now or never.

"We had a son, Lucas. We had a child."

And at that moment when it finally came out, Lucas's face was filled with sadness and longing, somehow he might have guessed the reason why our little boy is not here with us. The way his head drops, his elbows leaning on his knees while he is facing down, hiding his face from me.

Wait, is he crying?

"What happened to him?" he asked, still not raising his head but I can sense the breakdown in his voice.

I gulped and pull all of my guts to not shed a tear but looking at him right now, he looks like in so much pain and loss. My lips shakes at the thought but I have to answer all of his questions.

"He died, Lucas. He just lived a few days and then he was gone." I replied, gripping his hand tighter because he still hasn't let it go. "I gave birth to him while I was in Paris at November 26."

Then his head shot up and his eyes are bloody red but still not crying.

"Yes, you both had the same birthday." I continued what he was going to say with a sad smile. "He looks so much like you, Lucas. He looks just like you." that's when I started really crying, as all the memories flashes back into my mind.

That moment when Ezekiel smiles at me at the day he was born, I knew at that point that he looks just like his daddy. And I was so happy. My joy when I had him was better than any accomplishments that I had.

"But he had a very weak lungs and he couldn't even handle to stay a few hours without a help of an oxygen attached to his nose. But then one morning, he just stopped breathing." I replied, wiping my tears.

Lucas's eyes soften seeing me like this, he even leaned closer and leaned his forehead on mine.

He's not even angry that I didn't tell him about my pregnancy.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there beside you when it happened, Talia. I'm very sorry." He cried, clenching his eyes closed. "It's all my fault. Everything, it is me to blame."

I shake my head and cups his cheek with one hand. "No, do not blame yourself, Lucas. These are none of your fault because it is mine. I didnt take care of myself well while I was pregnant. Everything is really my fault."

Lucas pulls away and kissed my hand tenderly before opening his eyes to meet mine. "Is he the one in your painting?"

I nodded, the painting that he wanted to buy at the gallery. "I painted that moment when I held him in my arms and promised to love him more forever." More tears are escaping my eyes and I am terrible at this state. I tend to really cry like a baby. "And he is very adorable, Lucas. He is so precious and so wonderful."