― 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆.
❝ how do you make a monster
stop feeling so monstrous?
you give her something
she can hold in her palms
without crushing.
you give her something sweet,
and tell her to keep it.
...
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LOST IN FIRE (book three). °• CHAPTER FIFTEEN •°
" BUT IF JOHN SURVIVES, I CAN LIVE WITH IT. "
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The jail Harley is thrown in is cold. She had paced for awhile, lost in her own thoughts, blinking rapidly to get rid of the tears. But then she sat down on one of the metal benches, hands on her knees and head bowed. Truth be told, she didn't know what she was supposed to be feeling. If Harley had to limit and choose her emotions, it'd start with anger. When Echo said she couldn't let the fire in her be smothered, she didn't. She let herself be furious. Whether it was at her own decisions and herself, at Octavia, her people, or the whole situation she was forced in, that she didn't know. Maybe it was all of it.
Harley was also terrified. She had seen the dried blood in the fighting pit, smeared against the stone walls permanently. She was about to be tossed into it with people she knew - Bellamy, her family, and Indra and her daughter, people she cared about. She didn't want to hurt them, and she didn't know if she could kill them. Harley was afraid when she thought about what was coming, to be faced against them and either die or be the one who has to live with killing them all. It comes down to her fight instinct.
The door creaking made Harley nearly jump out of her skin. She couldn't tell the time and know if she was about to be taken away, but to her surprise, Octavia is at the entry with a guard. Their eyes meet and Harley's face softened, but Octavia turned her head to glance at the man. "Leave us," she ordered. There's clear hesitation, her guard glaring at Harley before he complied, knowing better, and left them alone.
When the door shut, Octavia slowly wandered in, her boots making soft thuds against the floor. Harley doesn't look away from her once, waiting until she's in front of her before she speaks, her voice strained. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to save your life, despite all the reasons I have that I shouldn't," Octavia spit out, taking offense to Harley's words even though she hadn't meant it in a bad way. Harley flinched at the venom in her tone. "You poisoned me."
"You didn't give me a choice," Harley weakly tried to defend. "John and everyone else I care about was going to die because you had to have your war." Octavia's stare darkened. "And now, they're still going to - "
"No, they're not," Octavia cut her off harshly. "I think you'll be happy to know Clarke took the rover to save Madi, with the worms. They're long gone by now." Harley suddenly feels much colder than before. Clarke saved Madi like she wanted, and that was comforting, but all she could hear was that she left. Clarke knew what Bellamy and Harley were facing, and after they risked everything and saved her life, she was abandoning them to die when facing one another in the pit.
