― 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆.
❝ how do you make a monster
stop feeling so monstrous?
you give her something
she can hold in her palms
without crushing.
you give her something sweet,
and tell her to keep it.
...
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LOST IN FIRE (book three). °• CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO •°
" BLODREINA IS DEAD. YOU KILLED HER. "
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Thefriendship Harley held with Clarke was something special despite their ups and downs. Six years after Clarke saved their lives and Harley never forgot. She held her hero close to her heart and cried every time she fell asleep for a month until the pain over losing a friend numbed into anger. How did Harley repay that sacrifice? She thought helping Bellamy put the Flame in Madi's head, Clarke's child, was the right thing to do. She put her at risk. And Harley was furious when it happened, when she was abandoned to be thrown in the pit, because she hated herself more than anyone. She failed Clarke when she realized who was the root of the problem: herself.
It stabbed Harley straight in the gut every time she spared a glance to Clarke. She was unconscious but sleeping soundly, a peaceful and calm look on her face. Gabriel was fidgeting with his antidotes while Harley and Bellamy scanned a map of the land, but she couldn't find much time to focus. Her mind was already buzzing with a thousand unsaid apologies that should have been spoken a long time ago.
A sudden gasp comes from Clarke who stirs awake. She flails for a second in a quiet panic before her blue eyes scan her surrounding. Bellamy abandons the map and crouches near her with a hand over her leg, "Hey, it's okay. You're still here."
Clarke smiles. "Thanks to you. How long have I been asleep?"
"A few hours." Bellamy hung his head low between his shoulders and quietly mumbles something Harley can't overhear, but she knows it's an apology when Clarke sat up.
She's still smiling as she utters reassuringly, "Bellamy, you saved me."
"And you... You saved us all." Harley leaves the map behind as well so Clarke can see her better. She prays the tears that burn her eyes aren't visible when she continues, "I'm so sorry for what I said, Clarke. That was wrong of me. I never should've threatened you after I put your daughter in harm's way." Harley can see the glimmer in Clarke's eyes as well when she leans past Bellamy to squeeze her hand. "Everything you did kept us alive since the dropship camp. I hope one day I can prove to you how sorry I am after... After all that you've done to save us."
Something special passes between Harley and Clarke other than the incredible words. Harley can feel the spark spread from the palm of her hand to the tips of her fingers and prayed it would drift to the other. Maybe it would truly tell just how sorry Harley was if she couldn't express it any further unless she fell to her knees, cried, and begged for forgiveness.
