The Fangirl Next Door - h.s

Chapter 17: Swedish Fish Looking Headass.

A/N: this is all of their looks for the red carpet!

The tugging at my hair to straighten it out by the team, just to turn around and curl it is causing a raging headache that I can't bare, but luckily they're finishing up. I haven't seen myself since this all started two hours ago. Cora promised she'd be watching me on tv with Ian and I couldn't be happier to have them supporting me. I'm incredibly nervous too, not for One Direction, but because I'll be in front of all the stars today, talking to so many different groups and people that I've watched on a TV Screen for years.
"Lucy, you look breathtaking, I love this dress, I love your makeup. Are you ready to do this thing?" Mindy cheers me on, pulling me from my chair, smoothing me out, and I'm thankful for her constant support too. I look at myself in the mirror in front of me and gasp. The red on eyes, the way my hair falls together, I don't even look like myself. I look like I belong on a red carpet, and I feel ease knowing I'll fit in better out there. I am ushered by Mindy through halls and finally I see the sun again, walking on the empty carpet as my team rushes me out. There are paparazzi standing behind a barricade, but they're all fidgeting with their cameras getting ready for the real stars. We come to a halt at the end of the carpet, near another door that enters the venue. "Alright Lucy, here are some cards, stars are already coming down the carpet, make sure you keep high energy all night, and always flash that pretty smile. Here." She hands me a huge mic, Vogue written on it, and the camera man lifts his camera up as stars start to litter the carpet.
Most everyone is kind, Ed Sheeran is just as I imagined him to be, an average guy, good with his words. Shawn Mendes is absolutely adorable, and so sweet. He laughs when he is trying to think, and his smile is so.. Fuck Lucy, Taylor Swift. She's walking up to me, laughing. Stupid bitch, used Harry, she deserves nothing. No Lucy, you're mad at him, stop thinking like that.
"Taylor Swift on the red carpet, looking beautiful in this white jumper. Who are you wearing tonight?" I ask simply, smiling at her.
"Thank you thank you, I'm wearing Balmain tonight." She smooths out her jumper.
"Well you look amazing, speaking of amazing, you're up for fourteen awards tonight, that's incredible! How do you feel about that?" I ask shifting my weight.
"I feel great, I owe it all to my fans for making 1989 such a success." She smiles bright, her red lips hard not to watch. Curse her for being kind. "And of course all the people who inspired the songs. They know who they are." She says in a snarky voice. She did not just throw shade at Harry like that. Who the hell does she think she is?
"Everyone gets their inspiration from somewhere! The album was a hit and we wish you the best of luck in there tonight! Thank you Taylor." I smile and she smiles back, walking off. Okay she's nice actually really really nice which wasn't what I had expected.
Fifth Harmony walks up and I speak to them, distracted at the fact that I can see the boys from the corner of my eye. Harry is wearing black satin shirt that hangs low like usual, showing his tattoos off. He wears a jacket on top along with black jeans and boots, his hair down. Fuck him for looking good, now I'm mad. Fifth Harmony walks off and I smooth out my hair and my dress before the boys walk up. Then I see her, Heather, standing next to Aaron as the boys make their way to me. She looks dumb, wearing a neon yellow dress, literally the ugliest color I've ever seen.
"One Direction, my personal favorites, and I just collaborated with them, go check it out on my channel." I wink at the camera and step back, letting the boys get in the shot.
"Hi Lucy." They all separately lean in, hugging me, including Harry, and touching him again hurts, mostly because it probably means nothing to him.
"Boys, how are you?" I ask and a chorus of answers comes from all of them, but Aarons eyes are on me like a hawk. Heather is staring off into space, probably thinking about how to spell the word cat, airheaded bitch. "So I have to mention it, this is the first award show with just four of you, how does it feel?" I hate this, I hate this so much, asking these questions I know they dont want to answer.
"We're getting on well, the album is out, and the fans seem to love it, we have all we could ever need." Liam answers for the group.
"And I love the theme, very dark between all of you. You look great! You always do though. I know there's a tour coming up, tell me about that." I ask them.
"Well, we tour a lot, and it's the best because we get to go out and meet fans, perform songs we loved writing, and we love singing. Tour is always great, and I don't see it being any different this time, none of us do." Louis speaks and the boys nod. Now the dreaded question.
"And Harry, a little bird told me you've got a new girlfriend, a new fling, can you confirm?" Harry nods to the ground, his face fallen. I hate this. I hate these questions. I hate Vogue for writing them down. The tension is so tight it could snap in half at anytime.
"I don't kiss and tell, but I have been seeing someone." He puts on a fake smile, no one will know it's not genuine, but I know, I see it in his eyes.
"She's a lucky lady if I do say so myself." Fuck these stupid cards, I'm done. I'm quitting my job. "You all look great, the album is great, and you're all nominated for four different awards, I'm sure you'll take them all." They smile at me, and I can tell all of them want this to be over just as much as I do. "Lastly, do you have anything you'd like to say to the fans watching?" I ask, holding the microphone out to them.
"Just a massive thank you for all the support." Harry leans in speaking.
"And how much we love each of them. Thank you Lucy." Niall nods to me and all of them smile.
"Alright thank you, and thank you guys for watching. This was first glance at the red carpet from Vogue, now let's get in there and watch these awards!" I cheer. Moments later the camera is shut off and the mic finally taken from my tired hand. I turn back and the boys are still there.
"Lucy." Harry speaks to me, the carpet around us loud as can be.
"Hi." I mumble, wanting to melt away from him, just disappear. His eyes watch me, analyze me, but I keep my eyes on the floor.
"You look beautiful." He mumbles, and I ignore the butterflies swarming in my stomach.
"Don't speak too loud. Your girlfriend could hear." I mutter.
"Lucy, we need to-" His words are cut off by a louder voice.
"Harry sweetie, come on, lets go inside." Her voice is so squeaky, I'd rather stab myself in the ears with forks than hear her speak.
"You should probably go, don't want to keep her waiting." I spit at him, feeling angry that I had to be put in this situation. His lips press into a line, and he looks upset at my words, but I'm upset at him, I shouldn't care how the truth of my words make him feel. So I wont. Harry and the others boys walk off and I know I can go inside, but I'd rather go home, and Mindy is okay with it. I get in the car, and am escorted back to my house, greeted by Ian and Cora, who are watching the awards live on the tv.
"That's my best friend, kicking ass on the red carpet, you looked way better than Taylor Swift, just saying." Cora shrugs her shoulders and I laugh, walking past the two of them towards the stairs. I want this dress off and a t-shirt on. I sit in my bed and soon enough I'm greeted by Cora in my bed.
"I thought you and Ian were watching the awards?" I ask.
"He's meeting friends for a video, plus it was ending anyways." She shrugs her shoulders.
"Tell me the truth, how awkward was I when I interviewed the boys?" I ask and she shakes her head no.
"Not at all, anyone who doesn't know what's going on wouldn't know. You were just the same as if you were interviewing anyone else. I promise." She tells me, my phone vibrates and it's another post from the update account. I need to turn these stupid notifications off. I open it anyways and see a picture of Harry in the same outfit, hand and hand with Heather, who still looks like a tacky neon sign and I scoff at the picture, showing Cora and she steals my phone.
"What the fuck is she wearing? She looks like a fucking sour patch kid, that color is god awful, literally horrid. Swedish fish looking headass bitch." I laugh for the first time in two days and cover my mouth as I do. I scroll through the pictures and almost gag at them.
"Today her fashion statement is, 'I am wearing neon to distract you from my awful personality.'" I zoom in on the picture.
"Lucy, who are you?" Cora is happily amused at my words but I'm just as shocked as her. Harsh words never leave my lips, sometimes they cross my mind but I never speak them aloud. She just pushes my buttons, she is pure evil.
"What? I'm sorry, but she's just gross. Everything about her pushes me in the wrong direction. I want nothing more than for her to be sent back to wherever the hell she came from." I spit as I click my phone off.
Cora and I talk about the red carpet, and I tell her about the stars, she makes the joke that I should date Shawn Mendes instead and I roll my eyes at her. We probably would have continued to talk like this if it wasn't for a knock coming from the door. Cora left to answer it, and just as I think she'll return I'm greeted by Liam, and I can't hide my confused expression.
"What are you doing here? Where are the other boys?" I ask, welcoming him in.
"I came to talk to you, and the other boys sent me here, they thought I'd be the best to talk to you." He tells me. "Can I sit?" He asks and I scoot over, letting him sit on my bed.
"So the other boys made you speak to me? What for?" I ask, crossing my legs like a kid.
"They didn't make me do anything, I came on my own, we were all supposed to come, but they decided to send me, they didn't want to overwhelm you." He speaks softly, and I feel a pull in my chest, knowing what this is about.
"Why are you here Liam?" I speak lowly.
"Lucy, I know this sucks, I know you're hurt. Harry is too, he's upset, every time he's behind closed doors he shuts himself off, won't talk to any of us. I'm not going to ask you to talk to him, but just think about it Lucy." Of course. This had to happen, Liam, of all people. I'm closest to him out of all the other boys, I listen to him whenever I can but I don't want to talk about Harry. "Aaron is ruthless, he always gets what he wants. Harry isn't the person to confront someone, he doesn't tell anyone no, and maybe he'll learn, but you have to cut him some slack. I can pass on a message, or leave you alone, or anything." He comforts me, and once again I'm being accompanied by Harry's friends, not Harry.
"You can tell him I don't want to speak to him." I speak sternly.
"That's not true." Liam calls me out and I sigh.
"Of course it's not true. I love him, but I shouldn't." I admit.
"But you do, and he does too, that has to count for something. Now I'm tired, so I'm going home, I just wanted to stop by, so just think about what I said." Liam stands up and I follow him, showing him out. As soon as Liam and I walk down the stairs we see Cora answering the door, showing Harry, still in his outfit of the night.
"Go home Harry." Cora mumbles, and Liam looks up at me, giving me pleading eyes.
"Liam? What are you doing here?" Harry asks.
"Liam was just leaving. Cora, you can let him in." I mumble, leaving the scene and walking to my room, leaving the door open. Harry comes through the door, his head already hanging low without any words being exchanged. "Close the door. I don't want Cora to hear me yell at you." I mumble in a low voice. He opens his mouth to speak, but doesn't say anything and closes the door. I'd be lying if I said him being here, being in front of me, didn't make me want him right now. I miss him, I miss everything about him, but the anger I feel is stronger, and overpowers any other feeling I have.
"Why was Liam here?" He starts, his voice soft.
"He was trying to convince me to talk to you, said you've been moping around." I mumble, playing with my fingers as I sit on the bed.
"I was afraid you'd never speak to me again, Lucy I don't want this, I don't want her. I want you." He pleads.
"Could have had me fooled." I mumble, thinking back to all the pictures.
"She means nothing to me, and the way she makes you feel makes me want her gone that much more. Lucy I want her gone just as much as you do, you have to believe me." He is on his knees. Bent down in front of me pleading with me.
"You left me in there with Aaron, you left me to get ripped to pieces by him, and you came back with her, you came back fine. Not upset, not hurt, you were fine, and you let her comfort you, while I was in there taking the blows for the both of us. I don't care about her either, but you care enough about her to speak to her, to let her be there for you when she doesn't deserve that." I fight back, and I feel tears pricking my eyes, remembering the feeling in my gut when I saw them walk into that room together. "The words he said to me, the things he implied. You've never had anyone look at you the way he looks at me, you've never had someone speak to you, right to your face, as if you were nothing." I look into his eyes and he looks confused and hurt.
"Lucy I have hardly spoken two words to her. I don't want to hear her god awful voice. She doesn't bring me comfort, she doesn't bring my anything. I told you I avoid her unless we're in public and I mean that. Lucy, you don't think I want her? You don't think I'd give this up for her do you?" He's hurt, he's upset, and I hate seeing him this way. I hate the fact that I feel bad right now when I'm not the one at fault.
"So when you left that day, and came back calm, she didn't talk to you?" I ask and he shakes his head no.
"I was wondering why you weren't there until the boys told me Aaron sent her. I locked myself in a room and called Gemma. When I walked out she was standing outside, and she tried to talk to me but I pushed past her and went back to you, but you left. Lucy I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I dragged you into all of this, I'm sorry my manager is incredibly mad, I'm sorry this life isn't perfect, but I love you, I mean it when I say that, and these past two days have been hell. I'll do anything to prove it to you, I don't want to lose you, and I don't want to lose this." He grabs both my hands and I think about pulling away but I don't, welcoming the warm feeling returning to my fingertips.
"The only thing I want I can't have. I want her gone, I never want to see her stupid ugly face again." I pull my hands away, crossing my arms over my chest and turning away from him.
"I'll talk to Aaron, I'll threaten leaving, I'll make sure she's not around as much. Lucy I'm serious, I mean it. Please." He scoots forward again and his eyes are glassy. He's begging me, on his knees in front of me as I sit here.
"Harry I can't handle the mean words... the insults.. I- I.." I start mumbling, tears welling up.
"I'll come on stronger, I'll push back harder. If he continues then I'll give you a hundred compliments for any rude thing. You mean the world to me Lucy... everything." He scoots closer, waiting for an answer.
"Stand up." I order and he does, carefully. I look into his eyes and take him in before stepping forward and wrapping my arms around his body, giving in to what my heart wants. He's all I want. "I love you." I whisper, and his arms have finally found their way around my small frame.
"I love you." He replies, and kisses my head. I pull back and look up at him, our eyes meeting and we share the same look, I feel everything he is and I know it, and we hold back for only a second, deciding whether or not we should give in, but he makes the decision for the both of us. His kiss is just as I remembered, always hungry and wanting. My hands find their way to each side of his face in the passionate kiss, and the way my body melts under just one kiss is enough to make me go insane. He breaks the kiss and lightly pushes me back so I fall onto the bed. "I missed you, I missed everything about you. You're all I want Lucy." Everything he says coming out quick as he makes his way down to me.
"Have me, now, please." He hardly lets me get words in as he kisses me, every kiss increasing the heat between the two of us. His fingers move to the hem of my shirt, pulling it, getting it stuck on my head. I laugh at him, this is how we are, we are messy, we aren't perfect, but we're us. Once I've pushed his coat off in a fierce manner, he takes it upon himself to remove the rest of his clothing, and I do the same eagerly, feeling like I've been waiting for this for so long.
"Is this okay? You're okay with this?" He asks, the sheets covering our naked bodies as he hovers over me.
"Yes, this is okay." I laugh at how sweet he is, his eyes warm and bright, his hair messy.
He leans down, kissing me, passion seeping from his lips, his hips meshing with mine, causing my back to arch as he pushes into me. I gasp against his lips, my hands touching each side of his face. His face inches from mine as he rocks in me, his movements slow and savory. His eyes are closed as he feels the same intensity that I do in this moment. His hands leave the bed, reaching for the bed board. He continues his swift thrusts, full of love and passion, the headboard touching the wall as he does. I know Cora is downstairs, so I try as best as I can to keep my moans soft and light but I can hardly help myself as he fills me, physically and emotionally. His biceps, the way his muscles contract with every movement make my skin tingle. His movements become quicker, stronger, and his hands return to my bed, one of them finding my face.
"You're so beautiful." He mutters, his eyes finally locking with mine. My hand reaches for his strong jaw, my thumb grazing his lip, my back arching higher and higher with every movement. His mouth moves to my jaw, the sweetest kisses making the pleasure only more enjoyable, only making it harder to keep my mouth quiet. I bite his shoulder to keep myself from moaning out. He lets out a groan of his own, reaching the same high I am and he collapses next to me, jumping right back to himself and looking at me. I've only seen a few sides of him, but the lustful side is new, it's intimidating.
"I want to stay with you tonight, I do, but we might need to move to my place." He breathes out, still trying to come down just as I am.
"Why?" I roll on my side, the sheets covering me. In a swift movement he's hovering over me again, leaning down to whisper in my ear.
"Because I want to do that again, and I want to hear you scream my name darling." His voice dripping with lust, shivers traveling down my spine. I push his chest playfully, causing him to fall back, but I lean on his chest, looking up at him, swirling my fingers over his bare chest.
"Have you two- oh shit." Cora stops in the doorway and I'm thankful she didn't walk in moments earlier. "Um- I'm just gonna. I'll just- I'm gonna go." She awkwardly points behind her and gives us an awkward smile. "I'll be at Ians if you need me, not that you will, I'm just- shit, I'm leaving, bye." She walks out quickly and moments later I hear the front door close.
"Now that we're alone." I mutter, a smile creeping onto my face and right as soon as he tries to lean forward I back away, scooting towards the edge of the bed.
"Now that we're alone, get your ass back here so I can do that properly." He grabs my hips and I'm back on him, under the sheets.
It takes three rounds for the two of us to get tired. I've never felt so captivated by a single human. I've never felt so passionate towards one man. I've never been more in love than I am now, I've never loved until now. He's asleep under me, holding me to him with his arms. Most people would have run away by now, never forgave him. I didn't want to forgive him at first, but the way he spoke, the ways his eyes burned for me, and pleaded with me. I'm wrapped all the way around his finger, I'm his, now more than ever.
I wake up, rolling myself over to the sight of Harry, his eyes on his phone as he sits in my bed. I roll onto him, and his phone is clicked off instantly. His hand moves in my fallen curls from the night before, his thumb traveling over my cheek.
"Good morning love." He coos and I smile at him.
"Good morning." I mutter, reveling in the sound of his morning voice. Perfection. I kiss him quick and move to get out of bed, but am instantly brought back to him in one forceful pull.
"Where do you think you're going?" He asks inches from my face.
"To make breakfast." I laugh, his cold hands tickling my skin as they touch my bare body.
"I had other plans." He flips me on my back,pulling me by my hips towards him. He kisses me harshly and he places more kisses down my neck, down my chest, my stomach, the insides of my thighs, his hair brushing against the soft skin of my legs as he reaches what he went down for. I could get used to mornings like this.