The Fangirl Next Door - h.s

Epliogue: Treat People With Kindness.

I prepare myself for the day, the day I had been waiting for this entire month. Cora and I are going to see One Direction yet again, but this time, this time it's different, it's been five months since I last saw any of the boys. It's been five months since I posted on youtube too. I've stayed connected, trying to give the content my subscribers deserve, but during my downtime I've been signed with Vogue. After the interview on the red carpet and a few more meetings I was "an attractive young girl, with a good head, and a strong following." So they added me to their team, now all the people at home can't tell me to get a real job, because I've got one.
    Harry and all the other boys were beyond happy for me when they heard the news, even Heather congratulated me, but Heather is gone now, gone from the boys at least. As of last month her and Harry's breakup was publicly announced, and when she came home she visited me. Cora was skeptical, but once she was here for about an hour, Cora knew there was nothing to hate. I don't plan on giving up youtube, nor fangirling at all, that's who I am, it's what made me the person I am. I just don't know when to start again, it's the same with Harry and I, I just don't know. These past few months were rough at first, understanding I made the call to wait for any type of relationship, despite how badly I wished I could see him after about two weeks of him being gone. After the first month I learned to live with that sting of missing someone. He really was one call away, along with Liam and the other boys, they always welcomed a call from me, and though I wasn't there I still felt at home through the phone.
    Now it's time though, it's time to get in the car, it's time to go to the show, and I'm nervous. I'm nervous when I wear this dress, when I get out of the car, when I walk in the venue, when I stop to take pictures with countless fans, but they're my fans now, not just girls wanting to take pictures with me because I know Harry. It's an odd feeling, and I'm sitting in the front, just like I did the first time I saw any of them perform, I'm greeted by Gemma, and holy fuck, fuck fuck fuck.
    "This is my mum, Anne, and mum this is Lucy." Gemma pulls her mom forward and I extend my arm, mastering the art of silently shitting my pants in my mind but playing it cool on the outside, all thanks to Harry. She smiles wide and pulls me in for a hug, taking me by surprise.
    "It's lovely to meet you, I've heard a lot about you from my son, he thinks very highly of you." She boasts and I laugh.
    "The same can be said about me towards him. I didn't know you would be here, how were the other shows you saw? Were they the same then I'm guessing?" I make conversation as Cora stands beside me, and though she's silent, I'm glad she's here for the emotional support.
Gemma and Anne both chat with me and Cora about L.A and the boys, and Anne is a charming woman, now I see where Harry gets it from.The lights go dark and as they do the boys run out, singing the same set they did when I was with them, but always bringing the best energy out on the stage, always giving it every ounce of passion they have as they start their shows.
    They start singing Girl Almighty and Harry and Niall run towards the end of the catwalk, running right in my direction and I smile, swaying next to Gemma and Cora. His eyes wander around the area, looking, and right when they land on me, his face lights up, his eyes wide, his smile wider. He lifts his hand, waving like a little kid, and I wave back to him, smiling as he sings. "I get down, I get down, I get down on my knees." He falls to his knees and sings in all of our direction, causing his mom to laugh out, Fuck I love him so damn much.
    The rest of the set goes by and I love every second of it as per usual, feeling good as I listen to their music, another thing I've restricted myself on the past few months. As the set comes to a close the boys thank the audience about a million times, saying their goodbyes, but it feels different this time, it feels real when they say them, and it hits me right in my chest. I walk back with Anne, Gemma, and Cora, all of us waving our passes to the guards as we do, me feeling a thousand times more comfortable this time as we walk back stage. My hands are sweaty, and my heart is beating slightly faster than normal, but I'm okay, I'm not panicked, I'm just a bit nervous, and I feel like this is deja vu from the first concert. The feelings from the entire night all too familiar. I'm first through the door, leaving it open for the others to file in after me, but right as soon as I'm a few steps in I hear a familiar chorus.
    "Lucy!" I am bombarded with one huge sweaty hug by three sweaty boys and I accept it, sweat and all, missing these idiots more than I thought I would.
    "Hey guys." I mumble, welcoming the hug.
    "Alright, alright chill out." His voice is angelic, like a gift, hearing it for the first time in person again is a breath of fresh air. The boys back away, all saying hey as they do, and then I'm face to face with a wide eyed, smiling man, dimple and all. "There's my lucky girl." He mumbles, pulling me right into another sweaty hug, but this one is the one I was waiting for. I hug him back, loving every bit of the feeling it gives me, every butterfly, every bit of warmth is welcome right now. "I missed you." He tells me and I smile into his chest.
    "I missed you too Harry." I laugh a little, glad that there was no reason for me to be nervous. "Your mom and Gemma are here." I tell him, pointing over to where they stand.
    "And what am I? Chopped liver?" Cora chimes in at my introduction.
    "And Cora, she's here too." I add, that way I don't have to hear it from her later on.
    "How could I forget about Cora." Harry jokes, walking over, giving her a side hug and she rolls her eyes at him.
    After a while of celebrating the last show of the tour, and lots of laughter, Cora takes my keys, going straight home, Gemma and Anne head back to a hotel, the other boys tell me they missed me, telling me they want to see me soon, then they leave too, just leaving Harry and I.
    "Lucy's place?" He asks and I smile at his question.
    "Lucy's place." I repeat, confirming his question. I walk beside him and he pulls me, holding my hand as we walk outside, an odd feeling, something I've never felt before in my life, holding his hand for anyone to see. He's got a lot to explain to me I guess. He pulls me to a familiar black car and as soon as Harry opens the door for me I jump in with excitement. "Carter!" I cheer, letting Harry climb in and close the door.
    "Hey Lucy, didn't I tell you I'd see you again?" He asks, looking back at me, a bald head, and a big smile.
    "I guess you're always right." I tell him and he laughs, turning back to the wheel.
    "Don't tell him that or he'll start to believe it." Harry tells me, and I roll my eyes.
    "He should believe it, he's been right about everything! You've known him for years, you should know that by now." I joke, nudging his shoulder. I watch the smirk grow on his lips as he looks out of the window, still not letting go of my hand as he does, his thumb gliding over my knuckles.
He's happy, he's genuinely happy right now and I can see it written all over his face, and it makes me happy to see it, mostly because I was so used to hurt and pain when we went our separate ways months ago. Carter drives to the destination and Harry and I get out, going to our chairs, but he has other plans, holding his hand out to me as Carter plays music from the car, parked far enough away to give us privacy, but close enough to hear the music.
    "Lucille Sky Collins, may I have this dance?" He extends his hand, my smile only growing wider as the night continues.
    "You may, Mr.Styles." I add to the scene he's playing out. We sway under the twinkling lights and though I'm looking out at the ocean, I can feel his eyes plastered on me, and I don't think they're going to leave me anytime soon.
    "So you really meant it when you said 'until then' huh?" He breaks the silence and I look up at him.
    "What do you mean?" I ask, and he twirls me around, bringing laughter from my lips.
    "It's like nothing changed Lucky, we're us again, no awkward silence, no hurt, no pain, just as we had left it." He tells me, pushing the messy strands of hair from my face.
    "Why wouldn't we be the same? We love each other, don't we?" I ask, and a spark lights up in him.
    "We do, if I'm remembering correctly." He jokes and I roll my eyes.
    "Aaron wasn't at the show tonight." I state the obvious, wondering what it could mean.
    "I didn't think he'd show after the decision we all made. He wasn't too happy." He tells me and I tilt my head to the side in question, what decision? "You see Lucky, after you went home, I came back, and all us boys had a chat, We decided we deserved some time to ourselves, so that's exactly what we're doing. We're going on hiatus, taking a break from being One Direction so we can be ourselves, and we know we deserve it so that's exactly what we said, we refused another tour, we stood by each other and refused another album, well, until we're ready for one, we're calling the shots now." He tells me, and I try my hardest to not let the excitement in my chest bubble over, not only because I know I will be getting as much time as I want with Harry, but because they deserve this, they deserve some time to just be.
    "So that means..." I start and he finishes.
    "It means I have every second of the day to do whatever I want with you, wherever I want, whenever I want. It means I don't have obligations right now, it means I'm all yours Lucky." He's closer now, his eyes warm like honey, but showcasing the colors of the ocean, greens and blues meshing together into one.
    "We don't have to go public, we can enjoy the silence for a bit, enjoy each other." I suggest, just thinking about the fan buzz that will erupt not only after they announce this hiatus, but after they find out we've been together this whole time.
    "That's another thing. The boys and I talked a bit, and we decided we wanted to talk about management after we announce the break, we want to let the fans know why this is happening, so we thought about the best way to go about doing it, and we thought no better way than our professional fangirl. We can go public there, and I know you're working for Vogue, but what better way to start back on youtube than to do this, post a video with all of us. And this time a real video, not something fake and scripted." He tells me the idea and my heart swells at the thought of it.
    "So it'll be like a One Direction tells all, something where you all just talk and explain things, and we can explain us?" I ask. He nods and I smile at him, this is a perfect idea. "I love it, whenever you're all ready just tell me, I'll be ready too, my subscribers have been waiting and waiting for a new video, this will be perfect." I tell him, and he pulls me with him, breaking our dance to sit in the chairs. We sit down, keeping our hands connected and rested on the table between us.
    "Lucky, I missed you, and I know we spoke every now and then on the phone, but it wasn't enough, I missed seeing you, talking to you." He admits, and I look over to him, the twinkling lights illuminating every feature, he's so beautiful.
    "I missed you too, though Ian didn't like that very much, and I missed watching you perform." I tell him truthfully.
    "You didn't see any posts online? No videos from the shows?" He asks and I shake my head no.
    "I unfollowed the update accounts, it hurt seeing all of it, especially after I had left, I didn't like seeing what I was missing because it made it harder to focus on why I left." I tell him and his lips twitch up, pressed together.
    "I'm sorry Lucky, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm so sorry for how things went, and for Heather, and for Aaron, and for dragging you into the mess of it all. You didn't-" I interrupt.
    "No apologies tonight. I know you're sorry, I forgave you a long time ago. Right now isn't time for that, we're here, we're together, we're Lucky and Harry again, let's just think about that, revel in that for a minute." I suggest, and he's up out of his chair, blurring my vision in seconds.
His hands on each side of my face, his lips on mine, and I melt right there. Never did I ever think a simple kiss could feel this pure, this amazing. Just the way his lips mesh so perfectly with mine, the way he tastes, after all this time it's pure perfection and I'm putty in his hands right then and there. He breaks away and I smile, my eyes still closed and his hands still on my face, connecting us.
    "I needed to do that, I just couldn't help myself Lucky." He tells me, and I lean back in, wanting that feeling back that he just gave me, taking the kiss to the next level as I move my lips with his. Once we pull back again I repeat his words.
    "I needed to do that, I just couldn't help myself Harry." I tell him and he laughs, his hair falling in his face.
We go back home after this, both of us going back to Harry's room, feeling the familiar silky sheets on my skin as he kisses me, as he strips me down, physically, emotionally, as we become connected again, becoming the people we were so long ago, becoming one again.
    Just as I suspected, the fans were terribly upset over the announcement of their hiatus, it's been two months since the end of the tour, a week since the did their last performance as them for a while, and now we're all sat in my room, in front of my new and improved fangirl wall, full of pictures of me with all the boys, and all the pictures I accumulated over the months I was on tour with them, I even put the pictures I took of Harry with braided hair up there, I had to. A Made In The A.M tour poster is in the midst of all the photos, completing the wall, and it's better than it ever was before.
    "Are we ready to do this?" Liam asks, wiping his hands on his jeans, and I nod, all the other boys doing the same. I flip on my camera, the boys all sitting around me, putting me right in the center, Harry on my left, holding my hand, Liam on my right.
    "Hello Fangirls, and Fanboys, it feels so good to be back in front of my camera, it feels so good to be talking to all of you again, and I promise I'm back for good now. As you can see by the people around me, today isn't going to be a usual Lucy video, I've got some friends here with me, why don't you all introduce yourselves." I wave my hands out to them and they do, introducing and waving to the camera. "We're here today to tell some stories, and it was their idea to give all of you the answers you deserve. I know there are a lot of questions and I promise we'll try to answer them all, if we don't then feel free to comment and I'll do my best to answer! Alright so, first things first, this Hiatus, this news, can we talk about it?' I ask, looking around me.
    "I think what we were trying to do was make a statement. We love what we do, we love our incredible fans, more than we could ever tell you, but we've never had a chance to be people, we're always on the road, always recording music, always doing, we've never had the chance to just be what we want, and that's what this is for, it's for us." Liam tells me, as if I don't already know.
    "We know it scares some people, the word can be big and scary, and people say, boy bands break up all the time, but we're not breaking up, I love these lads too much." Louis puts his arms around the boys as he speaks. "We all love each other, and we love you guys, it's just a matter of what's good for us, and this is that." He tells the camera.
    "So you'll all be coming back, do we know when?" I ask them all, just asking what I know the fans will want to know.
    "There's no way to put a time on something like that, but us coming back is inevitable, we've got too many songs written for you all, we've got to come back and give you what you deserve, we'd be idiots not to come back." Niall tells the camera, and the boys all nod, agreeing with his words.
    "I know everyone is wondering why the hell I'm here too, but Harry and all the other boys asked me to be here, asked me to film this and put this out there."  I see the boys nodding in agreement again. "Why don't you all talk about some things having to do with Modest, tell them all the other reasons you wanted to take this break." I urge, not knowing when I should bring up Harry and I.
    "Well for a long time now we've been under a lot of pressure from our management, do this and do that, be this and be that, and it was starting to turn all of us into people we didn't want to be, people we didn't like." Harry starts. "It was hard because it was putting a strain on our personal lives, another thing you don't know about." He looks at me when he says this and I smile. "We all think it's safe to say there's a time when enough is enough, and we all hit that point on this tour specifically, knowing we needed a place to find who we were, because people were starting to change that, and we weren't sure of ourselves anymore, and for you, all of you, you deserve genuine people, genuine music, and we couldn't give that to you due to all the pressure put on our shoulders." Harry tells the camera.
    "It wasn't about the music anymore, it was about making people happy, and that's not right, we started losing touch and that's why we needed this, we needed to get away from certain toxic people." Louis tells them.
    "That's why you're here Lucy, you experienced it first hand, why don't you tell them." Liam talks to me and I look to Harry, seeing him nod his head in approval.
    "Well, a year ago I met Harry. He moved in next door, and that's how all this started, I didn't know what I was getting myself into but after we started dating, after we were seen together, that's when modest stepped in, telling us no more. We struggled with it." I look to him and he's listening intently. "I struggled a lot, and that's when Heather came in, drawing attention away from me. I was made out to be some freak, some horrible problem, and it took a toll on everyone here I think, mostly because it became so tiring fighting back. I know what it's like as a fan to find out you've been lied to, but it wasn't any of them, none of us wanted to lie but it wasn't in our hands, and I knew you were all smarter than Modest liked to believe. I knew you guys knew, but there was nothing I could do, but now we're here, and we're open and we're honest." I finish, looking around to see if there is anything else to add.
    We ended up finishing the video, all of them hanging out afterwards as I edited it, waiting so I could upload and we could see the reaction together, and it was just as we had thought, almost every ounce positive.
A lot of comments about being happy for Harry, and how they knew we weren't just friends from the start. All of the comments made each of us feel good though, we felt fulfilled, we felt like our jobs were done, and I've never felt more proud to be in a family than I am to be in this one.

    ONE YEAR LATER:

    Harry and I are sat upon a beach, Greece was where I picked. He told me since I didn't see the world like I had wanted he'd take me where I wanted to go, so that's where we are. Our own little cabana, I sit between his legs, my back pressed to his chest as we lay together, yet another thing that's been weird, both of us seen together, pictures of us all over the internet, each photo that gets snapped spreading like wildfire.
    "I finished some of those songs I told you about." He tells me, and I turn my head towards his voice, looking up to him as he looks down at me.
    "Which ones?" I ask, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his chin as I do.
    "Sweet Creature, Sign of The Times, Two Ghosts." He lists off but the first song catches my attention.
    "Sweet Creature? That's what you call me." I add, turning all the way around so I can look at him in full view.
    "Well that would be because the song is about you Lucky." He sasses me, I pull my sunglasses down and extend my arm.
    "Hand it over." I demand.
    "Hand what over?" He raises an eyebrow.
    "Your sass, hand it over right now." Harry rolls his eyes, taking my hand and pulling me to him, that way we're sitting the way we were before I turned around.
    "I'm serious, this music is coming along, and I wanted to ask you something." He tells me, his words pushing my hair forward as he speaks.
    "What is it?" I ask, feeling his fingers tracing the words on my shoulder.
    "I was thinking about what I could do, merchandise I could sell, and of course I could slap my name on some things, and put it out there, but I wanted something more personal, something that meant a lot to me." He continues, and doesn't stop tracing over my tattoo. "So then I thought of Treat People With Kindness." He tells me, and I open my mouth to speak, but he covers my mouth with his hand. "I know what you're going to say, It's Treat Everyone With Kindness, but that's you, that's your saying and I couldn't take it away from you, so I thought I'd make it my own, Treat People With Kindness on all the tour shirts, all the merchandise, my little piece of Lucky, my inspiration throughout my job too, that way I can spread a message, have you with me wherever I go, and have unique tour merch. What do you say?" He asks, finally turning my shoulders back to him.
    "I think it's perfect. I love it." I tell him, leaning forward, pressing my lips to his.
    "I love you Lucky." He tells me, kissing me again, and again, planting kisses on my cheeks and my neck, causing me to laugh as his lips tickle my skin.
    "I love you Harry, so much." I tell him as his kisses finally come to a slow stop. We join hands and watch the waves, something we always do, no matter what part of the world we're in. I feel him, he squeezes his hand twice, and I do it back, just like a heartbeat.
Just like my heart, it beats the same, no matter the pain it went through, his too, all of us, every person who was a part of this journey. I learned more than I thought possible through the man sitting behind me, I learned how to love, I learned who I was, I learned to speak my truth, and I'm proud of myself for that. I'm proud of him too, he was always kind, he was always caring, but he learned to always spread love, he learned to Treat Everyone With Kindness, and he learned how to accept the love he deserved, which was all the love in the world.
My love will only continue to grow for this man, and that brings me an undeniable amount of joy, mostly because I'm not sure how we ended up here, right now, but I know no matter what comes our way it will be the adventure of a lifetime, and we will be able to face it with open arms, and smiles on our faces.