The Fangirl Next Door - h.s

Chapter 21: cheater cheater pumpkin eater.

A/N: another letter in Harry's POV later on in this chapter!

Harry has been in Sydney for days now, he's finally in Brisbane at this point, but whatever city he's in, it's not L.A, and that's the only city I want him to be in. I've called him three times today, times he told me he'd be free, but he hasn't picked up. He doesn't have a show either so I'm starting to get worried. Cora tells me to stop obsessing, I told her to fuck off. Needless to say I've been a bit moody, and I'm sick too. Yesterday I woke up feeling awful, and by night I had a fever, feeling worse and worse as time went on. I texted Harry to tell him, he hasn't replied, but he did read it, which makes all of this worse. I feel like I'm being ignored, and at this point I left him alone, not wanting to bother him further. I thought about texting Liam to ask, but I don't want to seem crazy to any of them so I decided against it.
    I haven't been on social media much either besides youtube, for obvious reasons. I don't want to see Heather and Harry everywhere. In all honesty I just need to start unfollowing some of the accounts I do, but I can't at the same time because people will take notice, and wonder what's up with my decline in follow of fan accounts, and I don't want any problems with Aaron. I jump at the vibration, snatching my phone from my covers, moving faster than I have all day. I sigh in relief, seeing his name on the screen. It's midnight on a Tuesday here, and it's five in the afternoon on a Wednesday there, they're a day ahead of us, we're worlds apart, but I want nothing more than to hear his voice.
    "Lucille Sky Collins, how late is it, why are you awake? Lucy this is why you're sick!" He chastises me instantly.
    "I would be sleeping if you answered three hours ago when you said you were free." I sass, and pull back instantly, I shouldn't be rude to him, what if I don't talk to him for another day?
    "I'm sorry, today has been a lot busier than I had thought, we had some promo stuff, and.. Well I won't bore you, but I'm sorry." He finishes, and I sigh, my head feeling like it's a hundred pounds, my chest tight from the coughing, and my throat sore from the sickness.
    "It's fine. I'm not mad, I just miss you, this isn't something we're used to." I soften my voice, not wanting to ruin anything.
    "How are you feeling love, I know you're sick, but how sick?" He asks, and he's speaking quicker than normal, which is odd. Something isn't right here.
    "I'm feeling awful, I think I could have strep but I'm not sure. I haven't been out of bed all day." I tell him, coughing away from the phone.
    "I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do but-" I cut him off.
    "You can't because you're in another country... Don't remind me." I cough again, cringing at the thought of how it sounds on the other end. "What are you up to?" I ask, changing the subject.
    "We're in the hotel room for the night." He tells me and I sigh in relief, thank god, no more notifications about him and Heather for the night at least. I hear a door opening in the background, and I listen in. I know he's got a room to himself, it must be one of the boys coming in to check on him, or tell him something.
    "Showers open.. Oh, who's on the phone?" Her voice is faint in the background, I can hardly hear it, but I hear it enough to know who it belongs to. I hear it enough that my blood begins to boil.
    "What.The.Fuck." I mumble into the speaker.
    "Lucy, let me explain please don't-" I click the red button, ending the call instantly. I'm standing at this point, wearing nothing but a tshirt and underwear, pacing my floor. Why the fuck is she in his room? More importantly, why the fuck is she using his shower? I should have fucking known, I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. How could I believe someone like him would be loyal halfway across the globe? I should just ignore him, fucking never speak to him again. My phone screen lighting up with a call from him catches my attention. No, I should give him a piece of my fucking mind.
    "How could you? Have you been fucking her this entire time, or did this start when you left the country? I knew you'd mess up but this Harry? I never thought you'd cheat on me, of all things, I always thought you'd stay loyal. God I'm so fucking stupid, I swear-" His voice booms over the phone.
    "LUCY! Be quiet for one second and let me explain!" He yells.
    "I don't want to hear your lies and excuses! You made a fool out of me! And I thought you were-"
    "I DIDN'T CHEAT ON YOU!" He raises his voice again, shutting me up for a second.
    "Then why the hell is she showering with my hot boyfriend, instead of her Hobbit one? Actually, why was she with you in the first place? You know how I feel about her Harry." I still feel the smoke pouring from my ears, the red still laced through my eyes, the heat pouring through my veins.
    "Please calm down, and let me explain. I went out on the balcony, she's inside right now, please let me explain without interrupting?" He pleads, and I can hear the wind whipping around him outside.
    "You have five minutes, make it good." I throw at him and he sighs.
    "Earlier today we had a lot of press, and I spent most of the day with the boys and she was around but with Aaron, though things seemed off, no one really cared. Long story short the two of them got in a screaming match and she was crying, he was yelling, she shoved him, he pushed her back and she fell and busted her knees backstage right before we all came back here. I took her with me, and she opened up to me, and she's not a bad person Luck, she's decent, and I felt bad, so instead of sending her back to be with that psychopath, I let her shower here and calm down before she heads that way. She's fully clothed, she always is around me, and she's nothing more than an aquaintance at most. Lucy nothing happened but me helping her, I swear to you, ask the other boys if you need to." I listen carefully and I'm glad he can't see my eyes practically rolling out of my head.
    "So you've been ignoring me all day because you've been too busy tending to your fake girlfriend to tend to your actual girlfriend who's sick because she's been staying up all night waiting for you to call? Oh and you said this happened earlier? You were on the phone with me how long before she walked into the room?" I ask.
    "Lucy I-" He starts.
    "I asked you a question." I cut him off swiftly.
    "Like ten minutes?" He answers.
    "Exactly, ten minutes where you could have told me what happened, that way I didn't have to find out through hearing her tell you the shower is open for you to use, and asking who you're talking on the phone with. So when were you planning on telling me? You weren't, I'm guessing." I finally sit back down on my bed, mostly because my body is tired, but also because I'm calm enough to be still.
    "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to react this way." He mumbles into the phone and I instantly feel bad. Fuck he thinks I'm crazy, he thinks I'm fucking mental. Shit, I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have yelled. "I should have told you right away, I'm sorry Lucy, I don't want you to think I'm keeping things from you." He speaks low, and I can hardly make out his voice.
    "I'm sorry for yelling, and reacting so quick, you didn't deserve that." I suck up instantly, not wanting him to think any bad thoughts of me, or have any reason to want to leave. I don't want to fuck this up, no I can't fuck this up.
    "Lucy, why are you apologizing? You had every right to-" He starts but I cut him off again.
    "Just let me be sorry. I love you, I'm going to get some rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow, goodnight." I mutter quickly, feeling ashamed, and also hurt by the entire situation.
    "Lucy..." He starts then stays silent, the only sound from the wind around him. "Okay..If that's what you want." He says respectfully, giving me what I asked for. "I love you more than words, goodnight, and please take some medicine, get better for me, please." He begs.
    "I will, goodnight." I hang up the phone and hold it to my chest. Fuck. Why else would he have kept that from me? If he had told me right away, instead of ignoring me all day, then maybe I wouldn't have reacted so harshly. He was keeping it from me for a reason, and I don't know the reason, but it's something, it's got to be something. My phone vibrates, and I look down to see a text from him.
    "I love you, and I'm sorry again, I will come home to see you soon, I swear it. Goodnight." It reads.
    "I want to fly to you, I thought that's what we said before you left? That way I can see new places, and watch you perform?" I type quickly.
    "I think it would be best if I came to you, it would be easier that way, we can talk about it another time. I love you." He sends, the message only making my head go into a million more possibilities. So he's keeping something from me, and he doesn't want me to come see him, he's hiding me away from something that's going on. He says he didn't cheat, but every sign is pointing right to him cheating, and I keep telling my mind not to go there, but that's right where I am. My door opens, causing my eyes to focus again instead of staring off into space, and I see Cora in the doorway.
    "Why are you screaming at midnight?" She asks in pajamas, her phone in her hand, her hair a mess. I explain what just happened loosely, giving as many details as I can. "Shit. Go to Australia, seriously go get your man Luce. That's not right." She crosses her arms and leans on the door frame.
    "He doesn't want me there, I can't just show up to Australia unannounced after he said what he just did. Cora, you don't think he's cheating, do you?" I ask timidly, feeling just as bad mentally as I do physically at this point.
    "I never saw him as that kind of person, but neither of us are going to know because we're here and he's there. If you want to know you need to get your ass to Australia, pack your damn bags, and go." She walks into my room and straight to my closet, pulling my suitcase down.
    "Cora, I'm not going to Australia, I don't want to just show up uninvited. What if-" She cuts me off as she throws the case on the ground.
    "He's cheating on you, and you never find out, and sit here being a stupid scared little girl about it instead of grabbing your big girl panties and going? News Flash!! CHEATER CHEATER PUMPKIN EATER , bitch open your eyes!! Now get up, we need to pack." She opens the case and walks towards my drawers.
    "Cora! Stop! Let me sleep, I'll think tonight, and make a decision in the morning okay?" I ask, stopping her. She gives me a side eye and sighs.
    "Fine, but I'm not putting that suitcase away. That way you can stare at it, let it taunt you, then you'll have to go." She points to her eyes then to me, to symbolize that she's watching me, and as she walks out she turns the light off, and closes the door. He wouldn't cheat on me... Would he?

LETTER TO LUCKY// TWO.

I feel awful today, not only because you're sick, and you're now upset with me, but because there's nothing I can do to change the situation. Heather is miserable now too, wishing she wasn't with Aaron, but not leaving purely from fear of what could happen to her. I'm not as worried about her well being as I am for yours Lucky, you're sick, and now I'm sure you think I'm cheating on you with Heather. It makes sense as to why you'd think that... because I'm incredibly stupid, to put it simply, but it's also laughable. What sane man would risk losing you over someone like her? I never claimed to be sane, but I'm smart enough to know I would be losing the best thing I've ever had if I did that.
    I wish today went different. I hate knowing you're upset. I'm not sure if you're upset with me, or because of me, or both, but either way I don't want you to be upset Lucky. I want you to be as happy as can be despite the circumstance. Tour is always stressful, and I know it's only been a few days but this is by far the most stressed I have ever been while being on tour. I miss you more and more as each hour passes, and now I can add fear to my list of feelings, I'm afraid you don't believe me when I say I'd never cheat on you, especially not with Heather. God Lucky, you're like an angel, I swear it. Truly a gift to me, the sweetest creature, my home, and I want you to believe that, no matter where in the world I am, but I think I might have fucked up, and now I don't know if you could believe me when I say that. I don't know if you trust me anymore, and that terrifies me.
    Just know, if I could be home now, I would come back to you, right now. I want to come to you, mostly because I miss home. I want us being together again to be special, not in some random hotel room. I want our time to be stress free, without the influence of others around. I want the little time we'll have together to mean everything, and be enough. I don't want you to spend all the money you worked so hard for on flying to see me. I would just buy the ticket but I know you, and how stubborn you can be, just like me, and I know you wouldn't let me do that. It would just be easier if I came home to you, and I hope you understand that. Once tour is in full swing, and we're more comfortable with how things are I'd be more than happy to have you here with me, but right now this is best, and just know, even though you won't be seeing this letter, I am waiting on the day I see your beautiful face again Lucky, if I knew the date I would be counting down the days. My heart belongs to you Lucky, I love you with all of it.
-All the Love, H.