The Fangirl Next Door - h.s

Chapter 22: Heather... don't start.

A/N: Heather... doin her thing... looking like a bitch...

Two weeks never feels long when you're happy, but I'm not happy, and this has felt like absolute hell. I'm lucky if I get a call once a day, and even then I can sometimes hear Heather in the background, asking him questions, or telling him something. We have hardly spoken about what happened two weeks ago and that's because I don't want to make him upset or angry, I don't want to give him a reason to leave me. So I've kept my mouth shut, smiled, acted happy, and sobbed until I fell asleep after he hangs up. I don't want him to feel like this is all his fault, even though it is. I love him, I don't know what I'm going to do if he does end up leaving me, and that's why I need to do everything in my power to keep him by my side.
    I'm at the point now where I'm not sure why I'm even waking up, I spend my days in my bed after I open my eyes, right until the moment I go to sleep again, waiting for a call or a text... if one ever comes. Cora feeds me whenever I feel like eating, which is less than usual, and she tries to get me to talk but I refuse to answer her, she doesn't understand.
    "That's it, you're done, get your ass out of bed now." Cora storms into my room, Ian following behind her.
    "What the hell are you doing?" I yell, sitting up but staying in bed.
    "Leaving your suitcase out didn't work, so I'm packing your bags for you, you're leaving today for Japan. They got there last night, and you've always wanted to go there, so you're going." She tells me and I look to Ian, who shrugs his shoulders.
    "I'm not going anywhere Cora, don't be ridiculous! He hasn't invited me to come, why the hell would I just show up?" I yell across the room, though it's not stopping her.
    "Because you're his girlfriend? And you miss him? And you haven't seen him in over two weeks at this point. He's too busy to make long distance work, and you're too scared to tell him that, so no more long distance, you're leaving." Cora is throwing my shit in a suitcase, my anxiety is through the roof and all I can do is look right at Ian. He notices the distress on my face and walks over to Cora, who has a pile of my stuff in her hands. He puts his hands around hers and she looks up at him.
    "Put the clothes down, give me a second alone with her. I love you, but you're a little too intense." She rolls her eyes, drops the clothes, and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her. "Lu, you should go to him, and stay on tour with him, and it's not because he could be cheating, or this or that and whatever else Cora has schemed up in her head. You should go because you're miserable here, and I know you are so don't even try to tell me differently. Why would you waste your time here, when you could be having the time of your life traveling the world with someone you love?" He asks and I sigh.
    "I can't just show up uninvited Ian, and he already said he'd come to me when he has time." I argue back.
    "You were invited Lucy, remember when you two were fighting because you denied his invitation? And he said it stands? I remember that, because Cora and I talked about how we thought you were dumb for saying no. He probably only said he'd come to you because he doesn't want you to spend your money on a plane ticket, and normally I'd agree with that but if you're spending your money on a one way and that's it, because you're going to finish out the rest of the tour with him, then there shouldn't be a money problem, as long as you film while on the road..." He tells me.
    "I can't leave you, and I can't leave Cora either, I love you both." I tell him, thinking of the only other reason I would stay here. The door flies open again.
    "Nope! I will not be the reason you're staying here! Lucy I love you to death, but I want you to go, I want you to live your life, I want you to fall in love over and over again with him, and have great sex, and travel the world, and see him perform. This is a dream come true for you, and we will both be here when you get back, I can promise you that, we can even come to see you at some point, or you can come home to us. We cannot be a reason for you to not go, I won't allow it." She sits on my bed and I sigh, looking between her and Ian. "Come on Lucy Lu, live out your dream, make your young fangirl self proud." She squeezes my arm and I sigh again, even louder,
    "I guess you better help me start packing if I'm going to be gone for eight months." I tell her and she jumps up, squealing. Ian claps his hands together in victory, and they both get started helping me out. Within the next hour I'm packed, and I know I will hate saying goodbye when they drop me at the airport, but my adrenaline is through the roof now.
"Okay so I'll be on a plane flight for twelve hours, meaning if Harry tries to call I won't answer, meaning he'll ask you, you need to come up with something good, because this is going to be a huge surprise okay? I've already asked Liam, and he gave me the hotel information, he told me he wouldn't tell Harry, nor the other boys. I'll text you whenever I land, after I get wifi of course." I tell them, and I'm walking through the airport now, two suitcases wheeling behind me, and a duffel bag on my shoulder. This is not going to be enough, there's no way.
    "Lucy, I'm proud of you." Cora hugs me as we reach our stopping point.
    "What for?" I ask, squeezing her, waiting for something sentimental and mushy from her.
    "For finally growing a pair, grabbing life by the balls, and running with it." She blurts out, and I'm not sure why I expected anything different. Ian leans into me, hugging me to him.
    "I love you baby sister, call me if there are any problems, or if you want to hear a familiar voice, or if you just want to talk or-" I cut him off.
    "Okay okay, I get it. I promise I'll call, I promise I'll upload videos. I'll be good, no worries. I love you both, now if I don't leave I'm going to miss this flight." I tell them and they wave me off. As soon as I'm at the gate, they're already asking us to board the plan, so I know I'm just in time. I mean I did buy this plane ticket an hour ago, so I'm honestly surprised I got my shit together long enough to make it here. Liam said Harry would be excited and happy to see me, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared shitless as I walk onto this plane alone, on my way to go surprise him. I'm just hoping, praying I don't walk into something I don't want, I'm hoping I made the right choice, and I'm hoping this twelve hours will move quickly and with ease because despite how scared I am, I miss Harry more than words can even describe.
    The turbulence and the rocky landing were enough to make my mind up... I'm definitely not leaving anytime soon. I was thinking about going home whilst on the long flight, telling myself maybe I should just visit, but I don't want to be on a flight that long for the rest of my life. Getting to the hotel was hell enough, considering I don't speak Japanese, and everything is so rushed and crazy this late at night.
They don't have a show tonight, so they should be in the hotel room considering it's eight at night here. I haven't told Liam I got here, that way it can be a small surprise for him even though he knows I'm coming. I walk up to the elevator, relieved to be off of the street. I hadn't planned ahead considering I'm wearing Harry's t-shirt, shorts, and some adidas tennis shoes, my legs are freezing, and I can't wait to change.
    I look at my phone and check, they're on the top floor, Harry is room 1921. I follow the room numbers, peering at every door, my suitcases rolling behind me, my adrenaline running like crazy. I got my room key at the front, following the instructions Liam gave, the people at the front desk following the same instructions. Once I reach the door I think of knocking, just to surprise him, but then I hear laughter, and I know it's not Harry's, I know who it belongs to, and my mind gets the best of me, taking over every other thought.
Once the door is open I see Heather first, sitting at the desk in the hotel room, and Harry, who is laying across the bed, his feet stretched out, and he's wearing a t-shirt and jeans still, as if he just got home. His eyes go wide instantly, and Heather looks to him.
    "I'm sorry what was your name again?" She asks and I drop my shit, my fist clenching.
    "Heather don't start... Lucy, um... Why are you here?" He mumbles and he's sat up now, alarmed, caught in the act.
    "The real question is why is she here? With you..... Alone?" I ask, trying to not let the anger get the best of me.
    "We were bonding, getting to know each other..." Heather smiles, and looks to Harry, twirling her hair.
    "Yeah, keep batting those doe eyes, keep twirling your hair at my boyfriend, and I will twirl that hair right out of your head. Get away from him." I step forward, not caring if the door is open.
    "Lucy, behave yourself, you weren't even supposed to be here, if I would have known..." He defends her, what the fuck is going on?
    "You would have hidden her away? What's going on here Harry? What the fuck happened between you two?" I wave my hand and Harry stands up.
    "Nothing happened! Heather, I'm sorry, can you please go? I need to speak to Lucy... alone." He smiles to her, his normal charming self. Fuck him for being so nice. Heather gets up, walking out of the room without a word and I'm glad, considering how fucking annoying her voice is. "Lucy what are you doing here?" He asks, pulling my hands into his. I rip them away from him, backing up a bit.
    "I came to surprise you, I decided it would be best if we weren't separated anymore, if we could finish this tour together instead of missing each other, and I thought I'd get a different reaction other than 'why are you here?' but obviously I was wrong. I can see now why you didn't want me here, why you wanted to come see me, that way you could hide your relationship with that bitch!" I yell, letting it all come out, forcing myself to stay confident and not cower down, and forcing myself to let my emotional side stay right where it is, I can't cry right now.
    "Lucy dammit, keep your voice down. You can't just scream and yell whenever you please! Have you lost your mind?" He whisper yells at me, surprising me with anger.
    "Oh whatever. Your bandmates are on each side of you, they don't care, and the walls don't fucking talk, if they did you'd be in deep shit. I listened to you, I let you have your time with Heather the night I heard her voice, I even fucking apologized, and the past two weeks I've been hardly sleeping, worrying myself sick, sitting up in bed every day waiting for your calls, hoping I wouldn't hear her voice, but I always did, and I never said a word. I can't believe how fucking stupid I've been!" I'm pacing at this point, my mind going in a hundred different directions.
    "Lucy calm the hell down. You haven't let me get a single word in because you've been too busy giving me all the attitude you have in your body. What in the hell did I do? What the hell are you even talking about? Lucy, I've called you as much as I could! I'm sorry if I haven't spoken to you as much as you'd like but I told you it would be this way considering you didn't want to come here with me! I hadn't tried to call you today so I had no idea you were coming! You're being unreasonably crazy right now!" He doesn't raise his voice as much as I had.
    "Oh fuck you." I mumble, feeling my emotions get the best of me, turning myself and walking right for the door. He's so unbelievable, of all things I never thought our first time seeing each other after weeks would be like this. I thought it would be full of kisses, and I love you's... not Heather. I feel hot tears pouring from my cheeks as soon as I have my back turned to him and my hands opening the door, but at the same time I feel warm large hands turning me back around. He looks down on me, and despite the mess of tears pooling in my eyes and traveling down my cheeks, I stand as tall as I can, trying to look strong in my words.
    "Lucy, don't walk out on me. I'm sorry, okay?" He pulls me in instantly and though I'm livid in this moment at him and want to punch him right in his pretty little face, I want this contact with him. I love him, and I missed his warmth. I pull away after a few seconds, pushing him back, and turning away from him, closing the door but facing away still. I don't speak, letting silence wash over the both of us.
    "Surprise." I mumble sarcastically, walking past him now, my arms crossed over my chest. "So how long? How long has this been going on? Is she better in bed than me, huh? You think she's prettier than me? Better body? Or is it the fact that she's here and available, just putting your dick into anything you can? You came at me with bullshit about calling me whenever you could, HA. That's bullshit because I haven't received a call all day, I expected to see at least one call after I got off of a TWELVE HOUR plane flight, but no! So I figured when I got here you'd be sleeping, but you're spending time with her, and that's why I never got a call from you, because you'd rather hear her voice." I spit at him, and he sighs, his hand finding the bridge of his nose as he pinches it.
    "Lucy, you really think I would cheat on you? Are you actually serious?" He asks, stepping forward, but I move away.
    "What else should I believe? You're not giving me any reason to believe otherwise. You don't even know what I've been through without you, I probably wouldn't have been as bad if I had known you were okay without me." I spit in his direction.
    "I do know what you went through, I had Cora giving me updates on you, I'll lecture you about that later, but you're going to have to sit down, calm down, and stop acting this way. Lucy, I haven't done a thing wrong, you just showed up unexpected, and now you're mad that I'm shocked your here, and that I had a friend in my room, yes, a friend." He speaks clearly and I feel no more anger, but I am hurt. I look up at him and grab my phone and purse from the bed where I had left it as I walk to the door. "Where are you going now?" He calls after me.
    "I'm getting air. Please just leave me alone Harry." I mumble, but I can hear footsteps following me. I turn, instantly stopping him in his tracks. "Leave. Me. Alone. You have called me crazy, you have hurt my feelings, and you have raised your voice at me, all because I showed up to surprise you in another country, and found you shacked up in your room with your fake girlfriend, you thought I was at home in bed waiting for a call, while you were with her, laying on your bed having a fucking ball. I have every right to feel the way I do, and to be as upset as I am, so leave me the fuck alone, don't follow me, don't call me any more names, or hurt my feelings, just... just go!" I yell, and he just stands there, his eyes and features soft now, unlike my words. "Go find Heather, her best talent is keeping you occupied when I'm away." I spit, digging a bit deeper, before turning away and walking down the hall.
    I run down the stairs, and wipe my tears away as quick as I can, pushing through each flight, wishing I never came here in the first place. I get to the lobby with tear stained cheeks and I keep my head down as I do, not wanting to draw attention to my dramatic ass. Fucking hell, why am I crying over him?
    "Lucky?" I hear the familiar nickname, along with an irish accent and I look up to see Niall, Louis, and Liam walking forward. "It is you! What are you doing here!" They all run forward wrapping me in a hug, finally bringing a smile to my face, still not taking the tears away. As soon as they pull away and actually see me they all drop their smiles.
    "What's wrong love? Where are you off to this late?" Louis asks, placing his hand on my shoulder, giving me a light squeeze.
    "Harry and I were fighting, I needed to get away, but now that I'm down here I'm realizing I don't really have anywhere to go, I don't know shit about Japan." I laugh lightly, wiping my eyes again.
    "Come up, hangout till you calm down." Liam slinks his arm over my shoulder, walking all of us to the elevator. Liam brings me to his room, the other two going to their own spaces, and once we're inside I don't cry thankfully, I'm done crying for the night I think. Once I'm on the bed I shiver, rubbing my arms and legs to try and keep warm, but Liam takes notice. "Here." He throws me a sweatshirt and I smile, putting it over my body.
    "Thank you Liam, really, you're always here, you always talk to me, you always take care of me. It means a lot how kind you are to me, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you always have to be the one, I didn't think me surprising him would end in me finding him alone with Heather, a screaming match, and me running into the streets of Japan crying.
    "Lucy, you're kind of like a sister to me in a way, I feel like you're so new to everything here, you need someone to protect you, and Harry is a bloke who doesn't know his left from right sometimes.I can tell you right now he's not cheating on you with Heather, if that's the idea you've got in your head. He might be an idiot, but he's not a cheater." Liam joins me, the bed sinking down.
    "It's not about him cheating at this point. It's about him calling me crazy for being upset over the fact that I saw them together, that he's always with her, that he defends her, and that she's more like his girlfriend than I am." I whisper the last part, the words hurting me as they escape my lips.
    "You've been across the globe for three weeks, he's been stressed beyond belief, trying to figure out a day to leave tour to come visit you. He hasn't shut up about you either, constantly showing us the pictures you post on social media as if we don't all follow you. He's in love with you and it shows, it's more than obvious. I can't speak for what he said to you, but I know you probably shocked him, he's been feeling guilty since the day he left you, he didn't want to leave you behind, but I know he's hoped you'd be proud of him, he wanted nothing more than to see you again." Liam tells me, and I pull the sleeves down on his hoodie, letting them hang over my hands, covering them fully.
    "I just wanted our reunion to be special, he'd wrap me in his arms, and be so excited to see me, not upset that I just showed up. I just expected too much I guess, it was my fault." I told him, looking down to the floor.
    "It's not your fault if he acted like an arse. You just have to understand how stressful tour can be, how horrible Aaron has been, and how the only thing that's made him genuinely smile for more than a few minutes is the fans, let him adjust." He tells me, and I just want to know how the hell Liam became so wise. Didn't they all drop out of school to become pop stars? He should be stupid, not giving me advice. I sigh and brush my hair from my face.
    "I should probably go in there and talk to him shouldn't I?" I ask and Liam sighs, and then nods with a laugh, and I crack a small smile. We both stand and I reach up, hugging him tightly. "Thank you... I mean it, thank you a thousand times." I pull away and Liam opens the door.
    "You really don't need to thank me, I'm always here, but you do need to go talk to him, he's probably really upset now, now that he's thought about it, and if things don't go okay, come back and you can take the bed, and I'll go in a room with Louis or something." He sends me on my way and I go to the door, sighing, telling myself to stay calm, and to think clear. Then I open the door, revealing Harry, writing on a piece of paper. He looks up from it, folding the paper and tucking it away before standing, and rubbing his hands on his jeans, looking at me nervously. What was he writing? Normally when he writes, it's in the leather bound journal he carries, but what was that?

LETTER TO LUCKY// THREE

    Lucky, I wish more than anything it didn't hurt me so much to hear your voice over the phone. I wish hearing your voice sounded just like it did in person, but it doesn't. It sounds nothing like you, and since Cora had started giving me updates, telling me you hardly leave your bed, telling me she takes plates of food to you, and all you do is pick at them, when she comes back to get the plate there's hardly anything gone. She tells me you hardly sleep, you only get up to shower when you absolutely have to. You promised to take care of yourself and you're doing the exact opposite, but then again it's my fault, you're missing me, you're worried about me, and I understand that, because I'm doing the same, I'm just not allowed to shut down. We've got to go on stage, but I'm going to pick up writing this letter tomorrow, telling you everything I can about what's happening here.

    Well it's tomorrow, and now you're here, off roaming the streets of Japan somewhere, off hurt and upset over me, because I'm the biggest idiot. Because I said hurtful words that you didn't deserve, because I made light of your feelings, because I wasn't being understanding. Lucy, seeing you cry, seeing your tear stained cheeks is the most painful thing I've ever seen. It's unfair because your smile is so much brighter, it's so much better, it's all I want to see, but I haven't seen it because I've been gone, I was doing so bad that you had to fly all the way here, and what do I do to repay you? Make you cry because I let Heather hangout instead of kicking her out like I do every other night. Why in the world did I do that you ask? Because I'm a fucking idiot, Lucky, that's why. I feel bad for her, that's all I feel is pity, she's a poor, helpless girl, whose head is filled with air, and I could never feel anything but pity for her, and I wish I just explained that to you instead of hurting you.
    I should have gotten excited when I saw you, I was excited but I was shocked, I was beyond ready to see you again, I just didn't know it was going to be so soon. I'll admit seeing you was like a breath of fresh air, that is until your attitude made its appearance. Then again, your attitude had a purpose because you felt threatened, for obvious reasons, I know how it must have looked, and whenever you come back I'm going to explain that. I'm going to let you get mad, and yell and scream, and give me all the attitude in the world, and then I'm going to apologize, and do whatever I can to make you smile, and then hopefully I'll finally get to kiss you, hold you, and

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A/N: I'm sorry the chapter ending in the middle of a sentence, I wrote it like it was Lucy walking in, and Harry stopped writing the letter, but get ready for my favorite chapter yet, coming next!!! I'm so excited!