The Fangirl Next Door - h.s

Chapter 23: shut your whore mouth.

A/N: There's not letter from Harry in this chapter, but I decided they'll be every other chapter or every few chapters there might be one or two, but it's not an every chapter type of thing. I hope you enjoy though, be sure to vote and comment!!!

I cross my arms over my chest, and he looks me up and down, noticing the sweatshirt on my body.
    "Whose sweatshirt is that?" He asks. Is that really his concern right now? Not the fact that I ran out crying, and I'm back? Not the fact that I'm in fucking Japan to see him. I glare at him, you know what, he was silent when I was in L.A so he can have a taste of his own medicine. I walk farther into the room, stripping the sweatshirt from me, throwing it on the bed, and tossing my suitcase up too, getting clothes from it without a word. "Lucy, talk to me, yell at me, say anything please. I'm sorry I hurt you, I never-" I put my hand up, stopping his words.
    "Sh!" I say simply.
    "Did you just-" He starts.
    "SH!" I turn away from him, peeling the t-shirt from my body, unclasping my bra, then sliding down my shorts.
    "Lucy come on, I haven't seen you in weeks, you're not going to talk to me, then you're going to strip down in front of me like this? How is that fair?" I hear his hands hit the bed and I turn around, stripped down to my underwear.
    "You want to talk about what's fair and what's not fair? Oh I could go on all night long about how unfair you've been. But I'm angry, I'm still fucking mad so I'm going to run myself a bath, I'm going to relax, and you're going to shut your mouth while I do it. I've had just about enough of you." I point at him, and he fucking smirks at me, causing my alread heightened anger to shoot even higher. "Wipe that fucking smirk off your face. I'm not laughing, this isn't funny, not at all actually, and you won't be laughing when I'm on my way back to L.A, single!" I watch his face fall, and I regret saying the words, but I still with them, turning back around and uncrossing my arms from my chest.
    After the bath is run and I've sunken into it I hear the door open but I keep my eyes closed as I relax, finally feeling normal again. I hear the sound of him walking in but I hold my hand up, stopping him.
    "I am finally not angry, I'm finally relaxed, so choose your words carefully, and don't piss me off." I peel my eyes open and he's thrown his hair up, put on comfy clothes, but his face is still just as hurt as when I said I would go home single.
    "Can I sit?" He gestures to the ledge of the tub, and I nod towards it, giving him the okay. He moves to the ledge, sitting down and keeping his hands clasped together. "I'm sorry Lucy, I told myself I'd let you get all your anger out, and let you just yell at me, and get mad at me, and I expected you to be mad, but I never thought you'd say you'd be leaving me. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I kind of deserve it, I'm kind of a shit boyfriend, at least I have been the past week, and I know I'm not being fair to you, you deserve more than I'm giving you, and I'm not okay with it. I promise to do better, I promise to give you everything I can. I really am sorry, I've felt guilty as hell since we left, I've wished I could go home everyday, I've missed you more than words, and I know that it didn't seem like it but I did. Seeing you again was a shock, and in that moment my mind went in about a million different directions. I'm just sorry, I'm sorry for being an idiot." He finishes, and he stands up from the side of the tub, walking from the bathroom, closing the door, and leaving me alone again.
    I get out and dry off after a few minutes, draining the tub, and putting on a robe that belongs to the hotel. I walk out, turning off the light, seeing Harry sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands holding his head, which is hanging low.
    "I don't want to feel second to her, not anymore. To the public we're not dating but behind closed doors we are, and I deserve to feel loved when we're here like this. She can keep the rude words and comments to herself or she will have a price to pay, and I won't feel bad about it. As for me staying here, and staying on tour..." His eyes are watching me, and right when I mention tour he stands up, walking towards me. "I'll stay as long as I feel wanted. The second I feel anything different and I'm going home, I'm not your dog, I don't just follow you on a leash and do whatever you say, I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I have felt every single feeling I could in the past two weeks without you, but mostly I have felt unloved, and uncared for. I understand you're on tour, and I would never ask you to put me before your music, or your career, but you could have tried harder to call. I trust you, and the fact that you were so far away from me physically and mentally that I really thought you were cheating... It says something Harry. This wasn't how I wanted this to go, not at all, but here we are." I watch him as I put my other clothes back in my suitcase. He moves back to the bed without a word and he sits down, facing the window. I walk over to him, moving my hand on his cheek, his hand finding my wrist. His face melting into a content state, his lips not smiling but slightly turning up at the corners.
    "What?" I ask, pulling my hand away from his face.
    "When you touch my face like that, it means you still love me." He mumbles, so quiet I almost don't catch his words. I lift his chin, like he always did with me, and his eyes look sad.
    "Harry, I will always love you, but you haven't showed me any love, and it's hard to give it away when I get nothing back. Of course I love you, more than you'll know, but I can't keep giving out all my heart to you, and only getting half. This goes both ways." I speak softly, but with an urgency, trying to make my words firm so that he knows I'm serious.
    "I'll do better Lucy, please don't leave me, now that I've got you here, and you want to stay, I don't know if I'll be able to stand tour without you." He holds onto my hands now, pulling them away from his face, we share a look, and I smile to him.
    "I'm not going to go, I'm not leaving you, not until you tell me to." I tell him.
    "Can I hug you and kiss you now like I should have when you walked through that door?" He doesn't even let me answer before he wraps his strong arms around me, enclosing me in his warmth again, causing me to laugh. He pulls back and I close the space this time, kissing him, tasting him again, remembering the familiarity of his lips. "I've missed you so much Lucky." He mumbles against my lips, and though I can't see him, I can feel his lips turned into a smile.
    "Show me." I smirk and he pulls back.
    "What do you mean?" He asks, his eyes traveling to my fingers, toying with the robe, finally untying it and letting it hang.
    "Show me how much you missed me." I insist, his smirk growing, his warm hands traveling over the bare skin, pushing the robe off of my body and moving me onto the bed. This is the reunion we were both expecting, and though it's late, it's needed more than ever right now.
The next day I'm woken up by the sound of a knock on the door, and an empty bed. I sit up in bed, Harry's t-shirt the only thing covering me as he opens the door to the hotel room. He joins me seconds later, a cart being pushed in front of him, tea for me, coffee for him, and breakfast.
    "Stay there, I'll bring it to you love." He tells me, and I sit up in bed, waiting as he serves me a plate of fruit, eggs on the side, him with something that looks really healthy and rather disgusting. I lean into his side as we eat our breakfast, the city bustling under us.
    "I've always wanted to go to Japan, now I'm here and all I've seen is the walls of this hotel room." I tell him, staring out at the view.
    "Well why don't you and one of the boys go out and explore? You know, since I can't really be seen with you unless Heather is there, I'd feel better if you had someone with you, but you can go alone too, whatever you want, as long as you come to the show tonight." He tells me.
    "Of course I'll be at the show, I'll ask the others later on if any of them want to come. I wish Cora was here, she'd love Japan." I tell him and then I jump up. "Cora! Oh my god I haven't told her anything what am I-" Harry shoves a piece of toast in my mouth, shutting me up.
    "I called her after you went to bed last night, she kind of figured you'd forget. Speaking of Cora, the things she told me before you got here..." He gives me a stern look and I sigh.
    "Go ahead, lecture me, get mad...." I sink into the warm cushions and his voice raises.
    "Lucille Sky Collins, you promised me you'd take care of yourself! And what do you do? The exact opposite! I won't always be there Lucy, I'm not always going to be there to call you, or be there to spend time with you, and when I'm not I need you to work, and take care of yourself, and stay healthy, and as happy as you can, because you getting sick, and hurting yourself by not eating or sleeping isn't going to help anything, or make anything hurt less, it'll just make it worse. Promise me, please promise me you will take care of yourself just like I would if we separate any more in this next eight months of tour." He hold his pinky out, just like Cora does. "I see you and Cora do this, now you've got to do it with me so I know you're serious, come on." He pushes his hand further and I roll my eyes, extending my pinky and latching our fingers together, kissing my thumb as he does the same.
    I ended up not going to explore, we'll go to other places in Japan, and Tokyo is one of them, so I'd like to explore then, for now I'll spend my time with the boys as they prepare for a show. They all went to the venue while I got myself ready, but I knew it would be easy getting myself a ride from one of their drivers. So now I'm at the venue, the driver pulled around the back, and I'm walking through a door, my Dr. Martens on along with another long t-shirt and shorts. My hair hangs over my shoulders and I hold my purse as I walk through, seeing Louis right away.
    "Hey Lou, have you seen Harry?" I ask, and he points down the hallway.
    "Somewhere down there, check his dressing room." He tells me, and I walk in that direction, opening the dressing room, not seeing Harry, but Aaron, and groaning out as I do, him reacting the exact same.
    "What are you doing here? I thought he'd be done with you after he slept with you, are you that good in bed? There's no way you're better than Kendall, so what is it? How in the world do you have him so whipped?" Aaron realizes what he said and he covers his mouth with his hand. "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I forgot, it all just slipped out, don't post the-" I wave my hand shutting him up.
    "I don't care, just tell me where Harry is." I replay his words in my head, Harry slept with Kendall? I knew they dated, but he told me they were just a fake couple, he never mentioned it going farther than that, so who is the one not telling the truth? Aaron points to a door, and I walk through it, leading me down another hall and to a door that's labeled "pantry" so I'm guessing this is where they keep the snacks. I reach for the door, but stop once I hear her voice.
    "Okay so you two met because you moved in next door, but how were you not creeped out when you found out she's literally obsessed with you? That's creepy, and it's weird H." My eye twitches at the nickname, but I stay behind the door, waiting for his response. Fucking slut, I hate her, I hate everything about-
    "Okay that's crossing a line. You and her can bicker and fight with each other, but you keep that between the two of you. When you're talking to me you won't say one ill word about her. I love her, she's my girl, fan or not, crazy or not, attitude or not, she's my girl. Leave her out of this, you think it's unfair that you don't have a chance with me, well think how unfair this is to her, she's gotta let you date me, while she hides away behind a curtain and watches, put yourself in her shoes Heather." He's so sweet, the sweetest man ever, but what the hell does he mean she thinks it's unfair that she doesn't have a chance with him? Is she trying to get with him? Has she tried?
    "Whatever you say, I just think you deserve someone who's on your level, that's all I was trying to say." Heather sighs and I feel my twitch coming on stronger, this fucking bitch...
    "She doesn't need to be on this level, I'm glad she's not. I'm glad she's who she is because she's normal, she's my little piece of normal, and I love her that way." He tells Heather, and I'm not sure why the hell he's even still talking to her, though he's defending me, and he's being loyal as hell right now, I'm still not happy about this conversation.
    "Well, what happens when normal gets boring?" She chimes, and I'm done listening to this conversation. I walk away, heading for the green room, and once I open the door I see the other boys chasing each other around like idiots, a normal occurance backstage. What has my life come to now that this is normal for me, seeing One Direction run around after each other is normal... Holy shit.
    "HI LUCKY!" Niall yells as he runs, Liam's shirt in his hand, Liam chasing behind him, shirtless.
    "Hi Lucy! Stop him, please!" He pleads with me, and I stick my foot out as Niall runs by all too quickly. He stumbles to the ground, Liam tackling him and getting his shirt from him.
"Thank you!" Liam stands, putting the shirt over his body. "Where's Harry?" Liam watches me as I step over Niall, who is still sprawled out on the floor.
    "With his girlfriend." I mutter, my words cutting the air as I sit on the couch.
    "But you're right here, Oh, other girlfriend, got it." Niall pushes himself from the ground and I roll my eyes, glaring at the door, waiting for Harry to come into the room. I hear the laughter of Heather from the hall and as soon as Harry sees me he walks quick to come to me.
    "Lucy!!!" He hugs me to him as if he hadn't seen me a few hours before.
    "Oh Lucy, I thought you were leaving after last night? After you ran into Harry and I in our room." She sits across from me.
    "It's my room, not our-" Harry starts.
    "Harry, be quiet, I can handle this. Second of all, Heather, shut your whore mouth." I look right at her.
    "And why in the world would I do that, Lucy?" She smiles, twirling her extensions between her fingers.
    "Because half of the air in the room is already in your brain, we don't need the rest of it sucked up by your huge mouth. No one in here wants to hear your voice either, especially not me or him." I point to Harry, who looks like a deer caught in headlights.
    "Oh really? He doesn't want to hear my voice? Oh that's funny, he kept asking me to scream louder and louder before you showed up and ruined all the fun." She's inching closer to me and I clench my fists together, standing in my spot.
    "Shut up, now." I mumble.
    "That's what the other boys were telling Harry and I when they could hear us through the walls. So many noise complaints, and-"
    "Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" I yell along with Harry.
    "Heather stop, whatever you're trying to start, stop." He steps forward, but I push him back, squeezing my eyes shut.
    "Oh.. I'm not used to that, normally it's 'don't stop Heather, never stop Heather' Oh he just can't get enough of me, more than he can say for you, considering he left you behind, guess he got tired of normal." And with the words I lunge, my hands lacing through her hair. She screams as I take her down, her back on the floor as I straddle her, holding her head between my hands as I lift it, getting ready to connect it back to the ground with a hard shove.
    "He will never ever be yours! He will never love you!" I scream at her, getting ready to wrap my hands around her neck when I feel arms grabbing my waist, pulling me away from her.
    "Down girl, down." Harry whispers, pulling me far, far away from Heather as I see Liam crouching to Heather as a door shuts us away from them.
    "Why did you pull me away! I swear I could kill her, I could fucking kill that stupid bitch, Harry she deserved it. And you! Tell me everything she said wasn't true, tell me right now!" I turn to him, trying to calm my heart down, trying not to pace back and forth due to the rage I feel in my body.
    "Lucy, you know that's not true, I never had her in that room other than to have a conversation." He tells me and I groan out.
    "I know it's not true! I just needed to hear you say it out loud. I told you! I fucking warned you that she would have consequences if she said something, and what the hell did she do?" I ask.
    "She-" He starts.
    "SHE FUCKING SAID SOMETHING! She's fucking insane! She's a fucking bitch! Harry I-" I'm stopped by harsh and hungry lips on mine, sweet at the taste. He pulls away, keeping a small distance between the two of us. He keeps his eyes locked on mine, tucking my hair behind my ear.
    "Lucy, that was my nice way of telling you to shut up for one second. I'm not mad at you, she was saying things just to piss you off, and I'm sure the boys are more than thankful you silenced her. I just had to take you away so you didn't physically kill her, and so you could calm yourself down, I was afraid you might explode if you didn't let all that anger out." He leans down, kissing me again, and wrapping me into a hug, shielding me away from everything around us.
    "I hate her." I mumble into him.
    "I know you do, it'll all be over soon, she'll be gone, we'll be here, everything will work out." He promises, as he runs his hands through my mess of hair.
    "I thought you were friends with her." I look up at him.
    "Not after that stunt, that was bullshit Lucy, even I can see that. I'm sorry, I love you, and I'm just glad you're here, so let's make the most of it, yea?" He asks and I take a deep breath and nod, knowing she'll probably be gone when we walk back out there. Either way he's right, we're going to make the most of this, and he's got an audience to entertain, I've got a show to watch, and Heather has bruises to tend to.