Undeniable

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I had always been very lucky to always have slept soundly. I didn'tsuffer from sleepless nights, waking up for no apparent reason andunable to go back to sleep, feeling groggy either from too much sleepor not enough sleep. My dreams were pleasant and in all ways sleepwas not a major thing for me just because of how well it had alwaystreated me.


I knew and understood that sometimes people-and even some peoplealmost always-had trouble sleeping and I empathized. As much as Icould since I never had the same trouble I couldn't know exactly howthey felt. I couldn't imagine not awakening well rested and ready foranother day, I didn't know what it felt like to roll around trying tofall asleep as it eluded them.


Despite that I never slept deeply, which I was thankful for as mylight sleeping had saved me from tried assassinations at least twice.As well as my children as I made sure that their rooms, as well asNerfert's own room which acted as her domain the same my study actedas mine, would all have to slip through the room my precious Nerfertand I shared. Thankfully no one who didn't belong ever slipped intothe room but I was always on guard.


I heard stepping and opening my eyes I saw her, my darling Name,walking by and I could get up but I didn't want to. I just wanted tolisten to her go about her morning routine, something I oftenlistened to as Nerfert got ready to bathe her face before going intothe tub of water that sat in our room to wash herself before gettingready for the day.


What I had been lucky to never had heard was the scream of fear.Sitting bolt upright I looked around and saw my dear Name backed upagainst the wall, sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up toher chest and her breathing was erratic; fast and shallow.


I didn't know what was wrong, why she was doing that, but I didn'thave time to worry about why. I would worry about the whylater, right now she just was. I would deal with that first.


I hurried over to her, worried that rushing would make it worse but Iwas more worried about her so slipped down being on level with her. Ididn't know what was wrong, I had heard of hysterics but never hadseen it. Still I remembered enough to know that having a calm handand speaking calmly was the best thing to do.


So I started first by speaking calmly to her. "It's okay Name,darling it is all okay," I promised and it was a promise I wasgoing to keep. "Can you make your breathing like mine Name? Slowand deep," I smiled at her though I didn't know if she could see meat the moment, "yeah, like that not so fast or shallow, slow anddeep." I praised even if the change was negligible.


As she started to calm enough that her breathing wasn't worrying meso much. I swtiched to my native language, in a lot of ways it feltlike slipping out of a skin and into another. Both felt natural butthe metamorphosis between the two felt uncomfortable, like goingthrough puberty all at once in seconds instead of years.


As I was cooing to her, the light and intelligence and fire in her(eye color) pools came back as my Name was back into herconsciousness instead of trapped somewhere in her mind scaring her. Iagain switched turning to be speaking her language once again. Evenif I spoke it without conscious knowledge of what sounds I wasmaking, but that was hardly important.


"Name, sweetheart, are you okay?" I asked desperately to knowthat she was okay. And hoped that if she wasn't that she could tellme what it was that she needed to be okay.

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