Nowhere Haven

Old Habits and Confrontations

Stomping clashed with huffing. Cold blades striking against a warm-running face. He did not feel safe yet.

Oliver had stopped running once he reached the city center. His apartment was farther off the center, leaving him to have run quite a while. Oliver was out of breath, and now that his adrenaline has sunk down, he felt his limbs aching. He noticed the stares of pedestrians as he was sitting down on a set of stairs to get back to a normal composure. Oliver didn't care about the other people. In a city like his one, people weren't about to remember that for long anyway.

The late afternoon hours showed effect on the blond as he was shivering from the cold wind brushing against his sweat-covered body. He hadn't cared about his outwear when he was still in the apartment, but now he regretted not to have grabbed a thicker jacket.

Once his breathing got back to normal, Oliver set off to find a place to stay in. He didn't dare to get back home anytime soon and it was only getting darker and colder outside. The blond knew Fukase would be upset once he returned back home. Perhaps he would even be waiting at the door entrance, ready to show Oliver once again who was in control of their relationship.

A cold shudder crawled down Oliver's spine when he imagined Fukase's outbursts. As vulnerable and lost the redhead sometimes appeared, he definitely could show aggressive sides.

Never before Oliver had run away from home like that. He couldn't predict how Fukase was feeling. That scared him. He didn't know how to react appropriately and thus, was terrified to take a wrong step. The nauseous feeling developing inside of him signaled him staying away wasn't the right way either, but Oliver was helpless. He didn't know how to react differently, leave out confronting Fukase directly yet. He needed to get somewhere else first.

Pushing open the doors to a bar nearby, the distinct smell of alcohol was the first thing that clashed against Oliver's face. He had to hold his breath for a few seconds and slowly get used to it before finding a seat at the counter. Despite of it to only be early evening, quite a few people have already gathered in the bar, some of them already filled up. It was a nostalgic sight.

Oliver hadn't been in social gatherings like these for years, yet he remembered well the times when he was a regular visitor. Almost automatically, he sat down, got out of his jacket and checked the people around him. They were mostly focused either on the TV or talking together. Their cheerful behavior entertained Oliver for a while. He rarely got to hear about other people's lives. He ignored his coworker's conversations in order to focus on work, but now he noticed that it was more interesting than he first thought.

Even so, Oliver's attention got drawn to something else soon enough. His eyes fixated on the drinks scattered across the counter and he gulped hard. He hadn't drunken any alcohol in years, but now the temptations were strong. Drinking away his rampant mind suddenly sounded dulcet. He checked his pockets and sighed in disappointment to have found only a twenty-dollar note. He wasn't going to get far with that little money. Even so, Oliver took what he had and ordered a few shots. He concluded that his long time of sobriety would help him get off his thoughts with smaller amounts of liquor as well.

The situation felt alien to him. Holding the small glasses with familiar liquid in his hand reminded him of times when drinking was his only way to escape reality. Oliver was glad he found cheaper ways by now, but a sting of longing travelled across his body nonetheless. Being numbed out just had its advantages sometimes.

The alcohol was burning on his throat as he dunk it in; a small smile crept up his face. Despite the long absence, he suddenly felt like it was just yesterday he settled down somewhere and spent a good night. Oliver took another shot, waited for a while and then let the first schemes of alcohol haze his mind.