Nowhere Haven

Giving Up

Red velvet once warping deceived eyes, its skin has lost color now. Light may dazzle their senses, but there is no sight of salvation yet. 

Oliver woke up with a headache. It wasn't near as bad as his morning migraine these past days, but it served as a bitter reminder of reality nonetheless. He shifted his body but couldn't move much. Turning his head around confirmed his assumption that he must have fallen asleep, and so did Fukase. His head was resting on the blond's hip with his mind wandering in his dream world. Oliver smiled.

The warmth on his back was reassuring, despite yesterday's turmoil. They had not come to the mutual result Oliver hoped for, but at this point, he knew they were far from that anyway. Merely hearing of Fukase's pain this unfiltered challenged him more that he expected. While he had always known his partner's future outlooks weren't too promising either, he didn't see him worrying to that extent ever.

Oliver's smile faded and he rubbed his eyes once fatigue set back in. Fukase was not only sad—he was in agony, balancing and fearing to fall either into one misery or the other, and he had kept it to himself all this time. 

There was a pinch in Oliver's chest. He wanted to drown in self-pity of how horrible of a partner and guide he must have been to see Fukase take such lengths in order to not hurt anyone, but there was no time nor energy for it.

As much as Oliver yearned to mourn and pout longer, Fukase was clearly on the verge of giving up, and Oliver was not ready to let that happen. He freed himself out of their embrace, albeit reluctantly, and placed a faint kiss on Fukase's forehead before tip-toeing out and through the living room. 

Oliver wasn't a very proactive person, but there was a timer in his hands, and it was ticking and ringing furiously. He knew he had to do something before it was too late. Lumi's words popped in his head and he bit his lip. Maybe there was some truth to it, after all. 

He wanted to feel heroic a little longer and at least try and perhaps actually conquer everything by himself once again, but their relationship was beyond experimenting at this point. Oliver couldn't quite tell when exactly it happened, but now he finally understood.

He got his keys and walked to the car. In this chaos of not knowing what was right or wrong, he knew of one thing to do. He had to ask a friend for help.

Oliver was ringing the doorbell over and over again until he grew sick of the sound of it, but the door was left unanswered. A glance just when he had still been in the car had told him that it had barely reached morning hours, but Oliver couldn't wait any longer. He rang the bell a few more times until he heard it creaking open eventually.

Kazehiki first glared and then fell back in disbelief who was standing in front of his apartment. What he expected to be a too eager mailman or the neighbor kids mistaking his bell for theirs once again turned into no other than his coworker.

But there was more to it, and Kazehiki noticed so. He froze in place at the obscure sight. Oliver didn't say anything, and neither did Kazehiki. Instead, they let the silence among them speak for itself.

Oliver had always tried to act composed around him, but that facade was crumbling. Anger dwelled up, mixed with his anxiety to ever have to speak up why he was there in the first place, and he didn't know what to do with all that energy. He wanted to punch Kazehiki right into his empty and unbothered face, with his anger turning into frustration that there really was nothing he could do. Oliver loosened his hands.  

Still, his body was shaking and words were barely leaving his mouth as Oliver struggled to bundle up and divert the energy. His eyes shifted around, and then he gave a deep and hollow sigh.