Dear me

Letter 5

Dear me,
June 9th 5:39pm
I graduated high school yesterday, it is a huge relief. Tho the night before I was talking to my crush and asked him if he liked me. I think it was the worst mistake of my life, he tried so hard to be nice but ultimately said he wouldn't say till in person. I know I messed up cuz the letter I sent him well... I asked him out in it. I can't help but cry thinking about all it, I can't help but want to punch a wall. I want to just take it back, but I can't. I'm scared, flat out scared. I wish I didn't feel this way, I wish I didn't get attached to people. I trust too easily and then get hurt. I'm starting to cut off people I shouldn't care about. It sucks but it has to happen. I wish I didn't feel like this, I wish I could stop feeling all together. All it seems to do is hurt me. I've cried way too much for my own good. I'm supposed to be happy is what humanity says, you can't be sad. I just want to punch the wall, I want to scream off the top of my lungs, I'm so tired of my heart falling for someone or trusting someone and in the end it just rips it apart. I can say I'm use to it but really I'm not. It just sucks. It really truly sucks that I feel like this. It's no one's fault but mine. I just feel like giving up on emotions, nothing good comes out of it. I really just want to give up.

Sincerely
Sav