Dear me

Letter 15

March 4th, 2020
8:12 pm
Dear me,
It's been a long time since I wrote something. Won't lie there's a lot to go over from the past few months. Last I left off was November I believe, well I was working for an amusement park. It was a hell hole of a job to deal with, I mean talk about management. I'll leave the names of people out but if solving an issue is to call me a bitch and text me an awful paragraph, spread rumors around, and to say I should be fired is how you deal with the fact that we're the same height and therefore can't be in character suits, I do regret talking to you about work related things on my part, but to go behind me and say I'm a bitch because I tell you I don't like being in a suit yet people see me smile is a reason to hate me? Sorry but you need some help. That's just plain harassment in the work place. I'm not sorry for asking questions, I'm not sorry for smiling when I was. I was dealing with a lot but I smiled through it, honestly. You need to learn how to properly handle situations sweetheart. Anyway another thing, around December we had a festival kinda thing, yeah imagine being an elf having to work in the cold and rain for 3 + hours and not even have a heater on for more than 45 minutes. Yup totally cares about employees, also never got an umbrella. Worked out my season and I plan to never work there again. It's funny how when you treat people like shit then how they respond really shows how much of a breaking point they have. Don't get me wrong there's some people I will completely miss but to have a team lead not do their job and sitting in their phone while bitching about people under them asking questions and trying to figure out stuff. Yeah real mature. Anyway that ended and thankfully I work a far better job. Other things that have happened, my ex yup the one who broke my heart broke it even more! Wanna know how? Remember back in September then I said (hopefully don't quote me) that we'll get back together in November/December? Yeah he told me he was coming home and I got so excited only to be crushed by him saying "I'm bringing someone home with me." Yup he was with another girl. So basically I waited for him to only stab me harder. Never have I felt my heart break more than I did that moment. This all happened over text mind you, no warning was given. No true signs of him with another girl. I felt played and basically torn up. So my December was spent crying, depression, and major trust issues. I cut all contact and as of maybe a week ago I finally blocked his ass. So January comes and I'm starting to go on dates with a guy and it's all dandy and stuff. Funny enough the guy I liked then wasn't the guy I ended up with. Took a complete 180 and started dating a nerd. So as of right now I'm dating a weeb. I'm absolutely terrified of what will happen so I'm taking it slowly. Oh yeah you know the guy who basically made me choose between him and my ex? Well we made amends and he even apologized about how toxic he was to me. Which is pretty nice considering the hell he put me through. Yeah a lot of toxicity happened in the past few months. Even better my old prom group well we made amends and then shit blew up again because I decided to not go to a sleepover due to mental health. They didn't like that, love how they said I was making them not a priority. (Which is correct I'm taking care of myself). So fast forward to now, I'm in school, I'm in a good healthy relationship, I have a great job, honestly everything is working out. I'm so proud of how far I've come, it's been a hell hole to deal with. I'm just thankful I pulled through. So my message is to keep going, no matter what. It will get better. It took me a while to finally see some light. I know it's hard but you can do it. I believe in you!

Well that's all for right now, so I'll be signing off.
-Sav