day thirty nine

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you came over again,
with your mother, of course.
when it was time for dinner,
i said i would come down soon.
however, i took quite a while.
wanna know why?
i was crying in my room.

i can't handle this, kacchan.
this pain you give me.
i really want to end it.
i really do
but i can't.

not just yet.
i have standarts to live up to.
i need to make sure those are met.

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