[complete] the swan dive | the first diary - katsudeku

day one hundred and thirty two

Katsuki saw Izuku's hero journals on his hospital bedside table. Out of curiousity, he reached towards the pile of notebooks and decided to take one from the middle. It was relatively new. Pristine and sharp, unlike the other worn out notes he had. As he flicked through, he noticed that the journal was far from notes; it was a diary disguised as a daily item. Something hidden in plain sight. Smart.
     What caught his attention was the pages soaked in red. Whether it be smothered in a metallic smelling red substance or stained by a few droplets of it, it was easily recognisable. It was blood. Izuku's blood. He read as the pages rhymed, as they twisted and turned into a cryptic message meant for him. There were ups and downs. He was indirectly informed of his troubles and doubts. He was told about the happiness he had when he had recieved any sort of praise. Katsuki was even able to re-live some childhood memories; bittersweet to the touch. He had so much doubt, so much regret. He was too focused on becoming the hero his quirkless friend needed, only to ultimately become the villain that everyone didn't desire to have in any part of their lives. Specifically, Izuku's villain.
     Despite his actions, Izuku still saw him as his hero.

That broke Katsuki's heart.

When he noticed the hosptialized greenette stirr in his slumber, he quickly put down the book and fled the scene, leaving a crease at the corner of his page because of his carelessness. Additionally, he never told his mother about his secret visit, or about what he discovered in that supposed 'hero journal'. Instead, he went to Aunt Inko.
     A mother deserved to know how much her child was suffering in a world full of high standards and hatred.