[complete] the swan dive | the first diary - katsudeku

day forty eight

i didn't expect your frequent visits.
your sly smiles and nasty spirits.
they hide behind this false identity of yours.
it's sickening.
why do you pretend to act so innocent,
when you are far from that?
you disgust me,
but i love you so much.

behind my smile hides a painful soul
my body can't handle this anymore.
my heart is hollow, it has a hole
where love used to grow forevermore.

that is no more now,
that spirit is dead.
the love this boy used to give,
the people his heart fed.

on christmas day,
on the rooftop he sings,
he sings in a depressing way.
joy is gone, clipped angel wings,
this boy would jump
and
be
free