His Fascination

Ch. 19

⚠️W  A  R  N  I  N  G    ⚠️

a smidge of smut

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< -- nineteen -->

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Parking in front of my house Neema turned the engine off leaning forward to view the place I called home. Looking at the empty driveway I smirked to myself having visuals of what we could be doing in mere minutes. My smile faltered as my dad's white Range Rover pulled into the driveway.

"Your mom has a nice truck. I love Range Rovers."

"It's my dad's." I mumbled unbuckling myself. "Stay here."

"Wait! Do you need he-" Her question was cut off as I shut the car door trying my hardest not to limp as I walked over to my father.

Coming around his truck, house keys jingling in his hand, he made his way to the house with a quick glance to my car then a double take when he saw me. "Lars?"

Not looking like a man who was missing his family after being put out of his home. My dad was dressed in his office clothes, meaning he didn't have surgery today, turned to fully look at me taking a step closer once he saw my fresh wounds.

Keeping my stance as he walked closer to me I squared my shoulders to prove that I wasn't weak because he was no longer in the house. Glancing past my face I moved to block his view of my car. "What are you doing here?"

"This is my house. I live here. What happened to your face and who gave you permission to drive your car?"

"What are you doing here?" I repeated.

"Who do you think - oh." He scoffed pocketing his keys. "Your mom told you, huh?" Saying nothing I watched him take several steps back shaking his head. "I won't apologize for wanting my son's murderer to be convicted."

Flinching at his words I knew that they were from the heart. I was the one that killed my brother and dad was right, I needed to be locked away or given the death penalty. They all claimed that it was a freak accident. Only being asked how the accident happened during my stay at the hospital, once I was discharged no one asked me anything expect if I was hungry.

They didn't ask me if I was having cold sweats from nightmares. Or if I was feeling suicidal every time I opened my eyes knowing that my older brother was never going to knock on my door as he passed by just because he felt like it. That when I looked at my baby sister my gut turned in pain as bile rose in my throat knowing that it was my fault her favorite brother was never coming back.

"It seems like I'm the only person in this house that can see you for the person you are. A walking killer! You breathe and eat and live your life as if your brother isn't six feet under! As if it wasn't your fault!"

"I never said it wasn't my fault!" I screamed to shut him up. "You don't think the weight of my brother's death doesn't sit on me? You think that I enjoy opening my eyes every morning knowing that I'm the one allowed to walk this earth instead of Cas? That everyone would be better off if it was me instead of him! That it should have been me instead of him! You don't think I know that? YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT!"