Camp Heartbroken | TXT Novella

Chapter 24 - Yeonjun

Yeonjun doesn't know what's wrong with him.

Today was a good day. Instead of singing in the usual music room, Taylor brought them out to the yard, where she prepared a picnic table and a stand-up keyboard for Huening Kai. Although they tried to keep serious, Beomgyu kept making jokes about his head being an acorn—so they couldn't stop laughing in between their parts. At dance practice, Mike Kuang gave them a rare opportunity to create their own moves. With Taehyun's quick thinking, they managed to make a crouching cat. Their bodies took up separate portions like links on a chain.

Today, dinner is delivery pizza because Taylor had to meet her boyfriend. Yeonjun's confused at his state of mind, because pizza is one of his favorite foods. Judging by the hums of delight, it's just as appealing to his teammates. But still, even with the savory smell and forcing himself to take bites, it simply doesn't taste good in his mouth. The dough is like sandpaper, and all the toppings melt into one bitter glob.

He realizes the source of his unease. This morning, one thought entered his mind like an unexpected assault. What if, one day, I forget all of this too?

He squints, almost aggressively, and takes another bite of pepperoni and mushroom. Why am I thinking like this? The worry only has a one percent chance of occurring. I'm pretty sure I wasn't this pessimistic before I hit my head.

"What do you think of the first few lyrics?" Taehyun asks him.

Yeonjun shakes his head, as if coaxing himself awake for the second time today. He forces himself to think, something he's not been doing well lately. He knows Taehyun is referring to their debut song, one they've been working on tirelessly. "I think—" Then, Yeonjun curses underneath his breath when a single tear falls out of his left eye. He stares at the droplet against his gray sweatpants, ready to let out another string of curses.

"What's wrong?" Beomgyu asks. His knit brows of concern appear so different from the expression Yeonjun faced when they first met. The anger, miraculously, has turned to something that resembles genuine care.

What if he even forgets all of that? His first impression of the boys who've become like little brothers to him?

"Don't worry, that was just... ah." Yeonjun's surprised to touch his face and find that his entire cheek is soaked. He puts his head against the tablecloth and groans. "I'm sorry, it's just that...."

But he can't even understand his own emotions. His grasps the edge of his chair and tries to find some sanity in its solidity. But even then, the wood seems to turn to putty in his hands.

Soobin, the closest to him, reaches out to grasp Yeonjun's shoulder. "What's wrong? You know you can tell us anything."

Yeonjun finally finds a bit of strength. "I don't want to lose all of this." He gestures around the table, over the boxes of pizza and to the others, who have turned blurry in his vision. "I've already forgotten so much. It's only been around three weeks... and I'm just scared I'll forget everything all over again."

The atmosphere in the dining room turns bleak. Everyone stops eating, putting down their slices to look toward Yeonjun. They wait for him to speak again. But thanks to Huening Kai, he doesn't have to.

Kai emits a heavy sigh. "I didn't want to tell anyone this. But the past couple of nights, I've been having nightmares. I keep seeing Curly the way I found him a few months ago, lying limp near his favorite toys. It's really been taking a lot out of me."

Taehyun nods. "I've been dreaming of my parents too. But for me, I see them when they're alive and at their happiest. It makes me feel empty when I wake up. I feel as though I've lost them forever... even though I believe I'll see them again."

Soobin joins the discussion, adding to the somber mood. "For me, the only time I can escape is when I'm singing or dancing. Even when I'm awake, I keep thinking of my memories with Jay."

Yeonjun feels guilty for bringing up everyone's past heartbreaks. "I'm sorry I ruined today. I wish I could only put out good vibes"

"Don't be sorry. And I didn't get to share yet." Beomgyu's usual loudness is replaced with a gentle timbre. "For me, it's really different. I obviously know Kaila is still here. But it's kind of a fear of the future. I know she's already found someone new. Soon, she'll forget about what we shared, and there will be no hope of getting her back. There's no chance that I'll ever be as intimate with her like we once were. It really breaks my heart."

What started as a single tear from Yeonjun turns into a therapy session for everyone. They reach for napkins, attempting to wipe away their sorrows. If someone were to walk in, it'd seem like the place was bombed with tear gas. The five members of TOMORROW X TOGETHER cry out for what they've lost.

But somehow, Yeonjun senses the healing energy in the room. Even though they're in mourning, they're in it together. Yeonjun allows himself to feel pain, to be aware of the emptiness in his core. He knows it'll last for long, but not forever.

Yeonjun leans against Soobin's shoulder. Some scars are bound to reopen, but tomorrow brings another chance for wounds to mend.

A/N: This was quite a sad chapter to write. TXT has been doing well so far, but sometimes there are setbacks, even in the most hopeful times. I think we can all relate to that. I hope you enjoyed!