Chapter 4 part 7

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A murder that doesn't defile his hands.

What Dazai did is the same as what Miss Sasaki did. With the hands of the third party, with the murderous intent of the third party, kill people. With the current law, it can't be proved as murderous intent.

It can't be judged.

"Kunikida-kun. That's the only salvation for her. This is the best thing."

"No!" I scream.

"It's not good for such ideal! There must have been something, there must have been some real problems! Because-"

If Miss Sasaki really hates the world. If she really wants to destroy us seriously. At that time-in abandoned hospital, I tried to step into poison gas.

If Miss Sasaki who's near me didn't stop me, I must be sucked in gas and dead.

If she's so willingly to kill, it's so easy to kill me at that time. She could take her revenge. Masquerading as mere negligence. Without any sin. But she saved my life.

Why is that?

It comes out of instinct, it's because of just reflect, isn't it? I want to strangle my throat, Dazai's words strike me.

"It is because Miss Sasaki didn't really want to raise such case! She's criminal, she didn't want a world where criminals were judged! She's just-"

I'm just... that person's suffering face, I didn't want to see it.

It's not good, it's not possible to touch the lock!

"Tell me, Dazai! Is it righteous that she got shoot and died?! Is this what I want... the ideal world?"
Dazai looks at me and speaks his words calmly.

"Kunikida-kun. You're right at some point, ideal world exists. Humans are thinking in that way, can't help but hate the world that's not as ideal, it will hurt the surroundings. Azure King was like that. Who will get hurt through the ideal and righteous are the weak people in the surroundings."

Dazai's gaze is directed to somewhere far.

"The word for righteous is a knife. It will hurt the weak, you can't defend and salvage. Sasaki-san was killed. It's Azure King who killed Sasaki-san."

Dazai's impeachment hits me.

Right, I've sought an ideal world.

To realize the ideal, dismissing all difficulties.

"Kunikida-kun. You seek the ideal as it is, as long as you continue to exclude things that hinder ideal, the flame of Azure King will be inhabited you too. And it will burn the surroundings. I've seen that kind of human being."

Dazai's gaze is aimed at something invisible to anyone else. The gaze that can't be understood by human being and also me, staring at the abyss of this world.

"I ...," I keep apart my hands from Dazai.

I understand what Dazai said. Righteous is not outside, it's something that you can ask in yourself.
But-

Miss Sasaki is dead, Rokuzo boy is dead too. Asking for righteous with them.

"....."

From the window of the abandoned hospital, I look outside. On the decayed front yard, vermilion spider lily sways.

When you close your eyes, that vermilion spider lily reminds on the back of the eyelids without disappearing.

She looks smile.

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