𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 | 𝗍𝗒𝗋𝗎𝗌

01

t j

i was quickly pulled out of my sweet slumber by the brutal sound of my alarm. i was dreading today just like i dread everyday. school really isn't the most ideal place but i know that if i skipped today, then i would have to skip practice, and then i wouldn't be able to play in the game on thursday. so i drug myself out of bed.

my house is normally pretty quiet in the morning considering that both my parents leave for work ridiculously early. they both commute to work because they don't want to move houses. they say that shadyside has the best school system in the state. i doubt it but i don't make a big fuss about it. it's one of the only things they agree on.

after doing my daily morning routine, i grab a banana and head out the door. only 3 more weeks until i can get my license and i won't have to walk to school anymore. it's not that i don't mind it, but when it's 20° outside, that's really when i wish i lived in florida. but shadyside during the winter is breathtaking even if my hands have to become numb in order to see it.

after the short 10 minute walk, i finally arrived at grant high school. on my way in i heard someone calling my name. i turned around to find that it was kira robinson. she has been obsessed with me since the 8th grade and she can't take the hint that i'm not interested.

"kippen, wait up." i heard kira call as she jogged over to me. every bone in my body told me to make a break for it but i was kind and stayed where i was, gluing a fake smile on my face.

"hi, kira." i said through gritted teeth. when she first started showing affection towards me, i was flattered. i thought she just wanted to be friends since we were both basketball players. but soon she wouldn't leave me alone and wouldn't stop bugging me every chance she got. she has tried to make multiple moves on me but i have smoothly dodged them all.

"i was thinking we could walk to the park after school today and shoot some hoops." she said as we starting walking to our classes. i got lucky this year and ended up having no classes with her.

"sorry, i cant. i have to work after my basketball practice and then i have tutoring." i explained, once again smoothly dodging her.

"bummer. it seems like you're always so busy." she fake pouted. she kept talking but i honestly wasn't listening. i would smile and nod and try to keep my eyes forward. i also tried to keep as much distance between us as possible but she kept closing the space.

finally, i made it to my class and quickly walked in, leaving her behind. once i stepped into the classroom, i let out a sigh of relief and sat down at my desk in the very back. i pulled out my phone and checked instagram and twitter just like i normally do. i was waiting for my friends to join me. this was the only class i have with them so i try to saver it.

my two best friends are lester and reed. if i'm being 100% honest, i hate being friends with them but we've been friends since kindergarten. at this point it feels like the only thing keeping us friends is the fact that we've known each other for so long. we don't hang out other than school and when we see each other in the hallway, we don't even wave. there is a mutual agreement between the three of us that we will stay friends. i've always been the third wheel and they are definitely closer with each other but i don't really care. they're kind of just there.

my eyes were brought up from my screen by a presence in the next to me. i assumed it was lester or reed so i turned to show them something on my phone only to find that it was an unfamiliar boy. i had never seen him before and he looked quite beat up. literally and figuratively.

"oh, uh, hi." i said since we had already saw that i was obviously going to say something to him. he just looked at me with his deep brown eyes. i took in his appearance. he was tall but very slim and had dark brown hair. his eyebrows seemed to be permanently knitted together because of the most depressing look on his face. he was wearing a hoodie and had the hood up. he continued to stare at me and didn't respond. i have never seen someone with such a longing, scared look on their face.

"um, y-you should probably put your hood down. the teachers are really strict about it." i stuttered out. for some reason, i was intimidated by him. even if he was a pretty tiny guy, his stare was like a lazor.

even after my warning, he kept his hood up and finally put his gaze somewhere else other than my soul. even though it was kind of terrifying, i feel somewhat sad to not have him looking at me.

finally, ms. traeger walked in and took roll and told us about having a new student.

"everyone, this is cyrus and he just moved so please make him feel welcomed here at grant." ms. traeger beamed at the new guy, who is apparently cyrus, and everyone else turned to look at him. he was giving everyone the same deadly stare that he gave me. i really hope he isn't one of those weird kids that is convinced he is a wizard or wolf or something like that. we already have too many of those people here.

lunch slowly rolled around the corner and i made my way to my table. at lunch, i sat with my other friends; buffy, andi, jonah, and marty. buffy and i were on the same basketball team in 7th grade and even though i was a jerk, she found the light in me (even if she didn't want to) and i've been a completely different person since. if you are friends with buffy, then you are automatically friends with andi and jonah. and marty is just there to have a good time and swoon over buffy.

i sat and immediately was hit with a bunch of questions. it's an everyday thing.

"have you seen the new kid? i wondered what his name is. i've seen him in the hall and i'm scared he's going to like bring me to hell or something." andi rambled on. she can talk up a storm.

"first of all, yes i have seen the new kid. second of all, his name is cyrus. and third of all, why would you be going to hell?" i answered all of andi's questions just to hit with more.

"he's so scary. i felt like he was staring into my soul." the infamous jonah beck said with a scared expression. oh jonah. i've had a very tiny crush on jonah since middle school and i don't really know how it started. i wouldn't say it's a huge crush but i do think he is the most good looking person in our school. or maybe even our state. but i could never tell him or anyone in the group. no one knows i'm gay and the fact that i like someone in the group makes it even weirder.

"i think he's nice." marty innocently whispered out. of course he did. marty thinks everyone is nice even if they're the devil.

we all disagreed with marty's comment and continue to talk about nothing in particular. i got up to throw my trash away when i spotted cyrus eating outside. during the months of november-february nobody eats outside. it's way too cold and teachers actually banned it. i wondered how he didn't get caught eating out there. i realized then that he was just picking at his food not eating any of it. he had the same depressed look on his face but somehow it was even worse. he looked he just watched his friend get murdered. my heart told me to go sit with him and get to know him but my head knew better.

on my way back to my seat, kira came up to me and started talking about nothing that i care about and she kept touching my arm and fake laughing. maybe i should've gone and sat with cyrus after all.