𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 | 𝗍𝗒𝗋𝗎𝗌

14

c y r u s

normally if something like this were to happen to me, i would freak out. i would distance myself from this person and convince myself that i was going to get hurt. but for some reason i didn't do that. the thought of distancing myself from tj didn't even cross my mind.

for the first time ever, my heart and my head agreed.

there was no fighting on which one i should listen to and follow, it's like they finally synced up. and that's how i knew that tj was the one, that he wouldn't leave me.

even if i got to share a couple kisses with the boy i'm in love with, i'm also still traumatized from the events from before that. my dads face flashed through my mind and i couldn't even close my eyes.

the truth is; no one understood. tj was there for me but he didn't tell me that he understood which i'm glad thankful for. because he truly doesn't and if he pretended to, it wouldn't have made me feel better.

i know that i really should not go back to that place where my abusive father is waiting. there was nothing in that house that i cared about. absolutely nothing. the only thing that i care about in this whole universe was the only one who wants me anyways. tj kippen wants me and there's no way in hell i was going back home.

after a boring day of sitting around tj's house, i finally left to go to the library.

with it being early march, it was still chilly but i could feel spring trying to make its way through. it was a comfortable and enjoyable cold.

i arrived at the library early but i didn't mind. i was walking around the random aisles until i saw amber sitting at a round table. she looked like she was reading something and i couldn't tell what she was feeling.

"hey, amber." i said, cautiously. i didn't want to accidentally interrupt anything.

she looked up and i saw the distraught look in her eyes. this made me pulled out the chair in across from her and sit down.

"oh, hi, cyrus." she sadly said and folded up the paper she was reading.

"is everything okay?" i asked.

"ive definitely been better." she said and i could tell she was about to start ranting. "you see that paper that i just read was my acceptance letter from FIT which turns out is actually my waiting list letter." she slumped back in her chair and let out a puff.

"that sucks. is that the only college you applied to?"

"no, i applied to baylor, too and i got in but it's so expensive and i was hoping to get a little bit of scholarship money but nope. i really hope i get off the waiting list at FIT." she explained. i could see how badly she wanted to go to FIT.

"if you were meant to go there, you'll end up there somehow." i said and i was surprised at my own words. i was never much of an optimist. she smiled and nodded and then she gasped.

"oh my gosh, wait! cyrus your face!" she got up and inspected my face. "i was too busy talking about me and i didn't even realize the bruises. are you okay?"

"i've been better." i mumbled and i hated how this conversation turned out to be about me.

"please tell me tj's taking care of you." she jokingly said but when i nodded, she grinned widely. "i was joking but maybe not anymore."

amber sat back down and a little while later tj showed up.

"hey," tj said from behind me with an uplifting face. he looked happy, like really happy.

"hey." i said back and amber got up and pretended like she needed to go find a book.

"i have some news." he sat beside me and i turned in towards him. he was looking at me with a intense stare. oh no, was he regretting kissing me?

"ok..."

"i broke up with kira." he exclaimed and he smiled like he just won a million dollars. and i knew that my smile was matching his. he finally broke up with her.

"oh my god, tj! i'm so proud of you!" i said and he picked up my hands and started to twiddle my fingers.

"thanks," he said sheepishly and he looked up at me. time felt like it was frozen and i felt like i was lost in a sea of green. his eyes are the real reason green is my favorite color.

"but i also may have finally come out to andi, buffy, jonah, and marty." he said proudly. my eyes widened and so did my smile.

"wow! you had a pretty eventful day." i laughed out and he just laughed too, shaking his head. he wasn't wearing any hair gel today and when his head was bent down, his hair was in his eyes. it look so soft and fluffy and it took everything in my not to run my hands through it.

"i think i'm about to make even more eventful." he said and i gave him a confused look. "listen, cy. from the day i met you, i knew that you were something different. i didn't care that you were stand-off-ish, i just knew that we were meant to be in each other's lives. you have made me so happy and i always want to be around you. i don't know how you feel about me but after last night, there's no denying how i feel about you."

i felt my heartbeat quicken and even if i was so sure about how i felt about him, i was still nervous to hear him say those words. and for me to have to say them back.

"i know you fear people hurting you if you get too close, and i just want to say thank you for trusting me. i care about you so much, cy, and that it was 100 percent the truth." we were looking dead in the eyes. "it feels like for a while my heart and my head have been fighting about what i should do with everything in my life. when i first met you, i followed my heart because i knew that something good could happen. and then when i finally came to terms with my feelings for you, there was no choosing  between my head or my heart. you had both of them."

i could feel the tears brimming my eyes and i squeezed his hands which i had forgot i was holding.

"basically what i'm trying to say is that i like you, cyrus goodman. like a lot. and i'm not exactly sure how you feel but i need you to know that you are my favorite person in the world. you're the only person you gets me and understands me. and i like you so much." he finished and i was speechless.

"tj..." he was looking at me with hopeful eyes and i knew there was nothing for me to be afraid of. "i like you so much, too."

he broke into a smile and pulled me into his arms. i didn't have to explain to him everything i was feeling like he did. that's not who i am and he knows that and he accepts that. that's why we fit so perfectly together.

we pulled out of our hug and amber was standing by the table silently cheering so she wouldn't get in trouble. tj and i just looked at each other and laughed.

for once in the past 5 years, my life felt somewhat okay. maybe even good. because every part of me knew that this was where i'm supposed to be and who i'm supposed to be.

and when tj and i looked back at each other once more, i was lost in his beautiful eyes just like the first time. and i knew that he was my home, no matter what.

-

hi, yes, this is the last chapter. i know i know i'm sorry. but i'm going to make an epilogue because i mean come on who doesn't love a good epilogue. so i'll save my sappy thank you message for that but honestly thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for reading this and enjoying it. all your comments and votes me the world to me and i finally found something that lets me escape reality for a little bit. i love you guys to the moon and back.