Chapter 28: Guilt Of The Living

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Damon's Pov

"Until we have seen someone's darkness, we don't know who they really are. Until we have forgiveness someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is"
                                -Marianne Williamson

 Until we have forgiveness someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is"                                -Marianne Williamson

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Making the decision to come back wasn't easy. It was actually kind one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make. I love Bonnie. I would be lying if I said otherwise. The thought of her death made me physically sick. I couldn't lose anyone else. I made the decision to try and put what happened in the past. I wanted to move forward and when I pictured my life she was there, even after everything she still was my future.

"Are you okay?" Bonnie asked.

I have been back for about two weeks and things were still awkward between us

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I have been back for about two weeks and things were still awkward between us. We barely talked about anything and I mostly stayed to myself. I wasn't comfortable interacting with the pack members yet so, I mainly stay in the apartment and worked. At the moment we were spending lunch together. Though if someone would have come in they'd probably think were complete strangers to one another.

"I'm fine" I replied before taking a bite of my sandwich.

"You haven't talked to anyone since you came back. They're worried about you" she spoke.

"Being stuck in the hospital caused me to fall behind in my work. I needed to catch up and make sure my father's company is still on track with their numbers" I mumbled.

"Oh. Well, there is a party tonight to congratulate the pups on completing their training. As Alpha, I must show up and I was wondering if you'd join me" she said offering me a smile.

"I don't think that is a good idea" I sighed standing up and putting my plate in the sink. Turning around to face her, I crossed my arms and leaned back against the counter.

"Why not? You've already met everyone and they will be happy to see you" Bonnie hummed.

"I just don't feel like being around a lot of people" I whispered.

"Damon-" she started but, I cut her off before she could try and convince me to change my mind.

"They are going to be curious. They'll ask questions about us. Ones that I don't know the answer to" I confessed.

"Questions?" she repeated confused.

"Yes. Like when we will complete the mate bond or how soon we will have children. I don't have the answers. I'm just taking this day by day cause as much as you all would love for me to move on, it isn't as easy as you think" I groaned.

"She would have killed my family. Her group of hunters would have slaughtered my entire pack and not even bat an eyelash. It was my responsibility to handle it. I'm sorry I hurt you. I really am but, I couldn't risk the people I love over one person. I couldn't" Bonnie explained.

"I understand. I know that she was dangerous to you and your people but, she was still my friend and I'm finding it hard to let that go" I breathed.

"I don't expect you too but, you are my mate. I'm the leader of this pack and we have an image to represent. I can't allow for weakness to taint that. I have to get back to keeping my pack safe. So, you will accompany tonight and answer all the questions. That's an order. You can grieve later" she stated standing up.

Standing there, I looked at her shocked at how quick she could change personas. Going from the woman I loved to the Alpha that wouldn't accept disrespect from anyone.

"I'm not one of your people you can order around" I spat getting angry.

"Honestly I don't know what you are Damon! I apologized hoping we can finally move on but, your still not satisfied. I will not beg for your forgiveness. I made a choice and you just need to live with it! I love you but, I have other matters to focus on. You're my mate but, I can't put your life over the hundreds I have counting on me" she snapped.

"I am not below you. I am your equal. I came back. I came back to you because I love you!" I shouted walking toward her.

"Then why can't you forgive me?" she asked anger all over her face.

"I already have! I've already forgiven you and it makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel horrible that I could forgive you so easily for killing my best friend. Like she didn't really matter to me if I could get over you taking her life" I murmured placing my hands on her arms. It was the first time I've touched her since I been staying here and it was like magic. The sparks that passed through every nerve felt amazing.

"You shouldn't feel guilty" she whispered.

"I should and I do" I sighed caressing her face.

"Don't" she hummed before kissing me and I didn't reject her. I reveled in my mate's affection.

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I know y'all are so happy about this chapter. I think I will be finishing this book in the next two chapters. They've made it past the conflict and I feel like it is time. So, next, up Damon and Bonnie complete the mate bond.

P

.S: This what I look like in case you were all wondering who this author was that is obsessed with Bamon.

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---MissTAYTAY1 XOXO

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