Picture perfect ~Zaynmalik (completed)

Chapter 13

Fan Fiction - Picture Perfect Chapter Thirteen

PREVIOUSLY:

'I told the doctor I should tell you. I said it'd be easier for you if I told you. But deep down I knew I would have no courage to say it to your face.'

A big gap separated the last sentence from the next. The time it took for my eyes to travel down the page felt longer than it was. The whole world slowed down as I read the next set of heart breaking, hope destroying words.

'I feared it, I really did. He said you have...'

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My desire no longer had a fuel. It was just me and the last word decoratively scribbled on the piece of paper in my pale shaking hands.

'Blood poisoning.'

My neck felt like it was being strangled as I gasped for air. I held my chest feeling my heart beat slow down and fade. My eyes rolled back as the machines began to blare ridiculously, releasing alarms and alerts. I could hear people commanding over me shouting and panicking. My eyes refused to open but every sound triggered my hearing. I felt my lifeless, weightless body lifted up and casted onto a flat surface. My arms and legs were tied down, my neck braced in a soft cushioned belt. The people became more and the sounds were louder.

"CHARGE UP THE PADDLES!" I heard a hoarse manly voice call.

My mind was completely blank, all my attention focused on the chanting commands of the people above me. My only energy holding onto my life, securing my fists over the rope that held my fate, refusing to let go. Refusing to back down. I was too young to die.

I could hear static buzzes electrocute the air as the crowd amongst me came to silence. I felt them join my prayer. I could hear their whispers.

"CLEAR!" the same voice shouted.

The charge neared my chest as the paddles hit my chest and my body was jolted with extreme amounts of shock. As the weight was released and my back hit hard surface less lively than before. I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst. A deep soft quiet voice kept chanting in me, "I know you're tough." The voice started to increase in volume, becoming louder and stronger increasing my will power. I wasn't letting go.

"CLEAR!"

The paddles were pushed against my chest once more as my rib cage shook uncontrollably, disturbing my contents. I could hear sighs of failure and discomfort. I could feel people give up on me. I wanted to show them I could do it. That I was still here. Only one person had belief in me and he shouted again.

"CLEAR!" his voice getting weak.

The force pounded on my chest again, harder, stronger but no more successful. The back of my head hit the bed with great force, my brain hitting the back of my skull, a large pain circling my temples. I could hear the whispers of the people crowding me becoming louder again.

"Doctor, that's it."

"She won't make it."

"She's gone."

I couldn't let them lose their hope in me. I felt like screaming but I knew I would not be heard. Like a tongue without a voice. Somehow I had to let them know I was alive. I tried moving but my limbs lay frozen. I began to panic uncontrollably. The fear that reading the letter was the last thing I would do became a strong possibility. The people's murmurs, the machines beeping and the static buzzing sounds all began to fade and then eventually stop. It was complete silence I lay in.

I began to feel the tips of my fingers brush the cold surface below me. I was no longer strapped onto the bed, my neck bare and my shoulders free. Although I could not hear nor smell anything I felt the regaining of my senses. I forced my eyes open and witnessed my whereabouts.

I was in the middle of a white endless room stretching either way into the darkness. The ceiling so high above me it couldn't be seen. The floor, cold and hard. There were no windows, no doors. No entries, no exits. Although the brightness blinded me there was no certain source of light. There was nobody else. Nothing else. Just me stranded in a sea of white.

I was confused. There was no pathway. No bright light. No idyllic gardens. No glowing heavens. Was I going to stay here? What's next? Is this death? Will I live again?

The overwhelming questions began to increase flooding my head, making me vertiginous. I could no longer feel my knees as I collapsed on to the ground, falling on my back, my head tilted back and both fists over my chest where my heart made no sound.

I faded away into nothing. I felt myself float in a current. Although I was still fixated onto the cold floors I felt my soul being caressed my small soft movements. Swaying left and right. Bobbing in and out of life and death without choice. Just carelessly throwing my life in between the lines. Until it all stopped.

I never knew how 'nothing' felt but right now I was nothing. I did nothing. Felt nothing. Heard nothing. I knew this was death. I knew that nothing happens after you die. And now my nothing was happening. I gave up. I knew there was no use fighting nothing. And so I let death take toll of me. I let it take me to nowhere. Where there would be nothing. With no one.

"CLEAR!" the voice echoed in me. The doctor's rough tone ended with a yelp of fear, guilt and hoplessness. The only sound I heard. That was until I heard a steady rhythmical beat pump through me.

I regained my weak yet steady heart beat. My chest rose up as I took a conscious long breath of air. My body regained its touch as a wave of warmth circulated in me, heating my previously dead stone body.

As I began to hear the world I dearly missed, the sound of people gasping in relief created a thick cloud above me. I could hear palms slap others backs. I small soft round of applause honoured the doctor who saved me.

I had no clue where I just was. What I just did. But I literally owed my life to the one person who didn't give up on me. The one person who believed I could make it. I longed to know who he was. How he looked. How this man just made a miracle. But my eyes were shut tight, refusing to open.

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I'd been like this for hours as it seemed. Alone. Alive but physically dead. I wanted to shed myself from this state I'd been isolated in. To escape the cubicle I was trapped in. I couldn't bare this silence. This disability to do anything. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't see. I felt frozen in a world that passed by me hastily.

I wanted to free myself from the boredom. I tried imagining things but I only pictured the white endless room. I tried remembering the moments but it felt like my memory was hazy. Every time I attempted to recall something it would be blurry, the voices unclear and crucial parts missing. I gave up on it, forgetting about the happiness and joy it brought me.

My hearing was coercive. Perhaps it was because my other senses were completely inactive. I could what would be happening around me, precisely. When a nurse and their rubber shoes skidded by me. When the food cart came to a halt at my room the continued to stroll on its rusty wheels. When an ill patient was pushed through the doors at incredible speed. I could hear it all. It was almost as if I no longer needed to see. That I could rely on my hearing only.

As I lay in my bed motionless I waited for the next merely exciting thing to happen. I'd given up on the fact I could be released from this dead body. I only hoped, but hope without faith is nothing but weak.

I could hear footsteps approach. I had already assumed this was a nurse or doctor of some sort but I soon realised I'd jumped to conclusions. This was more of a stride. A determined stride with bounce in its step. Soon the taps of shoes on the tiles had stopped right by my left ear. I heard the legs of a chair skid unbearably on the tiles making a deafening screech. I felt a bead of sweat run down my temple.

They sat down and sighed. I wanted to react. I wanted to scream and kick my legs in fear but I was glued down to this bed. I felt someone's warm skin come in contact with my hands. They held my hand and rubbed it delicately with their fingers. I had no clue who it was, or what their intentions were but it calmed me. Just having someone beside me.