being lonely | minsung | ✔

34

After what feels like hours, the music that blasts through my earbuds is interrupted by the annoying beep that announces my battery is low. It usually lasts much longer but I forgot to charge it last night. Isn't that just great?

I pull out my earbuds, hoping to save at least a little of my battery in case I can't find my way back home later. I hate asking random strangers for directions so it would be cool if I could avoid that and get home on my own, either with or without the help of GPS.

My stomach growls and I suddenly remember the lunch box filled with now cold pancakes in the bag that's next to my feet on the ground. The hungry feeling that takes over urges me to sit up and grab it but every other part of me refuses and I don't even move a muscle.

Instead, I close my eyes and listen to the symphony of nature that now reaches my ears, with the absence of earbuds and loud rap music to block them out. Birds are everywhere, their chirping and the occasional flutter of wings going back and forth in the abandoned playground. Occasionally, a car would pass by or a plane would cross the sky. But apart from that, it's quiet and my mind slowly comes to rest again.

I didn't do much thinking while I was here. I mean, what's there to think about? I like Minho -a lot, to a point where it scares me sometimes- but what can I do about it? It will remain a stupid crush, one that won't develop into more because I can't allow myself to. I hate it to be gay, my parents made me feel ashamed of it and look at it now. I don't even know if I can ever date a boy, knowing that my parents will hate me for it. There's a part of me that tells me to ignore my parents and chase my own happiness instead. But, can I? Am I strong enough to defy my parents and date a boy?

Knowing how weak I usually am, probably not. My mouth curls into a bitter smile. I guess I'll just remain lonely, huh? Really something to look forward to. Suddenly, the sound of approaching footsteps interrupts my thoughts.

"Jisung?" a voice calls out and my eyes snap open instantly, finding a familiar face looming over me, their eyes filled with slight concern.

I quickly sit up, careful not to butt my head against theirs in the process.

"Chan hyung? What are you doing here?" I ask Minho's friend, who clearly seems relieved now that I responded to his call. He probably thought that I was wasted, or something like that.

"Ah, I got a day off as a thank you for helping out yesterday," he explains, rubbing the back of his neck. "What about you? Aren't you supposed to be at school right now? Minho even went as far as texting me if I knew about your whereabouts, even though he knows we never talk."

He ends his sentence with a chuckle and a small grin appears on my face.

"He did that?" I ask, slightly surprised. "I guess I'll text him to tell him I'm okay."

"You should," Chan agrees before sitting down next to me in the hammock, trying to keep a proper distance, despite the flexible mesh of the thing making it quite difficult to do so. "Honestly, he is the type to blow up one's phone when it comes to you."

"You think so?" I ask, trying not to sound too happy about that statement. Chan nods with a small grin and I fear that he might've picked up on my lifted spirits.

"Please text him back soon, my old phone can't handle spam that well," the older chuckles. Then his expression turns serious as he eyes me with questioning eyes. "But seriously, Jisung, why are you here while you should be at school?"

His question makes my expression falter for a moment before I shoot him a wary look. Chan sighs, raking his fingers through his blonde hair before he nods in understanding.