It's Not What It Seems

Chapter 12

Trinity

My flight back was good along with my flight going there. I got to dress fully comfortable. I wasn't hiding my belly or anything. Multiple people asked me about my baby, and I was just in such a great mood. I was ready to finally tell Aiden because my baby is due any time now. They're supposed to be here on the first of November but there's a chance they may come earlier.

I planned on bringing Aiden over to tell him. I was thinking about Saturday night because he's probably busy with work and honestly, I need to catch up on mine. I know I said I would work on it while I was down there but I lied. I was having too much fun with my family. It's been a minute since we all were together in one spot. Someone always had something to do. This time we all took off work and spent time together as a family. We caught up the best we could because I always call my parents to just check up on them. They would do the same to me and my sister when we don't call them a certain week.

That's beside the point. I plan on telling Aiden tomorrow. We're not going out to a restaurant or anything like that. I'm going to make dinner and I'm going to tell him during it. I just hope there are no complications. I always seem to mess up a little even if I plan it all out. I just want it to go smoothly. I don't want to get choked up explaining why I didn't tell him and etc. I actually don't really know why I didn't tell him. Actually, I was scared and didn't know how to tell him.

The only reason I told, let Zion find out, was to get him back. I wasted my money on a wedding and couldn't get any of that back. At least he wasted his money on things he could take back if he kept the receipt. I got attached to someone just for them to do me dirty. Now he's attached to someone, and he'll feel that same hurt I felt. Now it was my turn to do him dirty.

I would've told Aiden today but like I said work. I wanted to be caught up on everything before I have this baby. The baby can come at any moment now but their not due until the first. I really hope it's a boy. I want two kids but  I want my first to be a boy and my second to be a girl. I don't know why but that's what I want. It only seems right.

Okay, I'm rambling let me finish this work and plan out what I want for dinner tomorrow. I have to start early tomorrow too because I haven't really cooked in my new apartment. I craved so many different things at night where even if I cooked something and ate that I would still want what I was actually craving. Losing this baby weight is a must when I have enough strength.

Whether or not my baby is a girl or boy they sure know how to eat. They want to eat every hour. I'm telling y'all it's ridiculous. I don't even eat every 4 hours so every hour is completely out of my range. At least I know what I'm in for when they get here. I have to be prepared for that.

Oh and baby names. Since I've only really been thinking of boy baby names that's all I have right now. I know I know I'm supposed to have names for both genders but that's not how it went. I'll let Aiden pick the girl's name if I have a girl. He can sign the papers and etc when I'm sleeping trying to get rest. I'm stuck between Coby/Kobe, Tyler, and Jackson. It's whatever I think fits him best when he gets here. I think that's kind of what a lot of parents do. They think of baby names but when the baby gets here they look at them and make their choice. It's like it's natural. You look at them and the name pops up and fits them.

I don't really want to push the baby out so I think I'll go for a c-section. I don't know I just can't see myself pushing out a baby. When people talk about it they make it seem so bad and that's not what I want to go through. I feel like your kat gets stretched out when you do that. That doesn't have to be true but that's how I see it and nobody's going to change my view on that.

There are additional risks dealing with a c-section so I might have to push my baby out unless I have to have an emergency for whatever reason. Hopefully, if I do have a c-section that I make that decision myself instead of having it forced upon me. That's really scary because that could mean a problem with me or the baby. I'm not saying it is, the baby could just not want to come out. You know like not move when you're trying to push them out.

Aiden

Trinity asked me to come over tomorrow night because she had something to get off her chest. While she had something I had something as well. I wanted my answers and I was going to get them one way or another. I can't keep going without knowing anything.

I've been getting more and more distracted. I don't know if it's the stress from work and then the stress from not knowing or what. Either way, those two things together aren't good.

My marriage hasn't changed much. We really don't talk at all now. She'll go out and come back late with no explanation. I'm not forcing her to tell me anything because I think we both already know this marriage isn't working out. It's obvious to the both of us. I just think we're waiting on each other to speak up upon it. I'll probably be the one to speak up. She's very stubborn to the point she'll be single in her head then technically. I don't know why I like those types of girls but I do.

I'll just have to wait and get all my answers tomorrow then I will feel much better. Then afterward I can figure out what I'll do next.