Letters to my heart

Chapter 3

Harry's POV

It was 2 days after the war that an owl came to me with a letter. At first I was afraid, did someone know I was alive? What I read in the letter was far worse, it had brought me to tears. How did I never realise Draco also had feelings for me? Was I really that blind? 

At first I just wanted to write back, tell him I was alive, heck I even wanted to go back to the wizarding world, go to him and tell him I loved him back but going back would mean I had to be the golden boy again and how much I loved Draco I couldn't live like that anymore. I have lived all my life doing what other expected me to, I did my part, now I did what 'I' wanted to do. For that I also had to leave the love of my love behind. 

Every day, when I received a letter from Draco I wanted to write him back but I knew I had to stay strong. Since even in the muggle world I was seen as a war hero I couldn't use my name there either. So with the help of a powerful glamour Sirius had taught me I was from now on known as Loic Emrys Prince. A tall skinny man with short light brown hair and light blue-green eyes. I still had to wear glasses but I changed the monture, they were still round-ish but the rims were made out of light wood. Having my new personality I enrolled myself into a muggle university to study law. It had always been a dream of mine to be able to defend those who couldn't defend themselves.

Even with my glamour I was stil afraid anyone would recognise me so I kept a low profile. I had found a small cottage in a small village in Wales. They had found me camping near their village and offered me the house. They didn't ask for any payment proclaiming the house had been empty for over 10 years but I still wanted to repay them so I helped out where I could. I had learned how to do wandless magic so no-one would realise I was using magic to help out. 

The village was very far away from the university but it was no problem for me because I could always aparate to the campus and back. In June I had started the special pre-law program so I could start in September with all the first years. 

Mid June, when I came home from classes the trusted owl was waiting for me with a letter that always brought me much joy and sadness: Draco's letter. Draco always told me what was happening in the wizarding world and every letter also contained declaration of how much Draco really loved and missed me. 

Todays letter was different. Like always Draco told me what was happening in the world but he also told me how he would take his own life after writing this letter. That night I cried for hours, 

Draco was dead and it was all my fault. If I hadn't been so egoistic and send him a note at least saying I was alive he might still be alive as well, but no I had only thought of myself. The next couple of days I stayed in my bed. 

The villagers came to see if I was ok but every time I wanted to tell them I lost the love of my life, I started to cry. Rydian, a young man who helped me sometimes brought me food that I didn't eat. When he realized that he stayed with me until I at least ate half my plate. 

After bringing me food for three days he came into my room and ordered me out of bed, when I still didn't want to leave he pulled me out of it and put me in the shower with ice cold water. He told me that I had to keep on living, for Draco, to make my life worth living. But how could I continue? Like him, writing letters to a dead person? That for sure didn't help him. 

I told Rydian I still needed a few days and I promised him I would be out of bed by the end of the week. The moment I wanted to go back to the comfort of my bed the owl I knew very well came back with a letter. I jumped out of my bed and ran to the owl. It was probably Narcissa explaining Draco's death. Narcissa was the only one in the who world who knew I was still alive. But what I read in the letter was the last thing I would have imagined.

My dear Harry

Like you can see, I couldn't join you. I wanted to die a painful death so I slid my wrists and waited for the darkness to take me when my mom was gone shopping. She must have felt that something was wrong because she came home earlier and found me bleeding out on the quidditch pitch. I had chosen that place because that is where you were the happiest and so I hoped that I would find you quicker in the afterlife. The moment my mother arrived I had already lost consciousness so I don't know what happened otherwise. I woke up 3 days later in my bed with my mother crying next to me. When she saw I was awake, she asked me why I did it. Once again I told her everything. Harry my love, I love you with all my heart but this episode made me realize that I am needed here and that I will have to wait a little longer before I will see you again. I have made her an unbreakable vow that I would never again try to take my own life in the next 10 years. If in 10 years I still wanted to join you my mom said she would even help me. I guess this means I will see you in 10 years. But believe me when I say this: these 10 years I will devote my live for you and do everything you dreamed to do.

Let's hope these 10 years go fast so I can finally be with you.

I love you always and forever.

Your Draco

A/N You didn't think I would kill of one of the main characters in the beginning of the story     did you? 

See you next time my lovely readers <3 

don't hesitate to write comments and to like the story :D