I was drowning, I felt it like a magnetic pull. It's like I was going deeper and deeper and there was almost nothing left. He was taking everything from me mentally, emotionally and physically. How can you love someone but drown out who they really are. I ..... he's coming I have to go cause if he finds this that will be the last piece I have left.
Rushing I hid the journal I had and sat back on the window sill looking outside. I missed it out there he hadn't allowed me outside in 52 days 6 hours 14 minutes and 8 seconds. Yes, I've been counting. That's when I got the journal also the same night that he took away my last string of hope. I would have been 2 months and 1 weeks, his best friend secretly gave me the journal to document my experience for my baby to have later. I like to think it was a girl. Pretty little chocolate girl with his great complexion and my curly hair assuming I had made it to February.
BOOM
I jumped as the door slammed against the wall
" What the hell you in here doing, trying to catch a glimpse of some nigga out there. Get cho ass up and make me something to eat." I hurried and rushed down the stairs, last time I took too long he pushed me and I broke my arm. Which transferred to him beating my ass for breaking my arm.
"Hey Melody" my head snapped up. It was his best friend Brian, he was always nice and was always around which stopped most of my beatings, Brian always saved me. But that night he was gone he had a meeting and I don't blame him but he blames himself. I had meet him first and didn't give him a chance like that because he was white or as he likes to put it Italian and he seemed to be a hoe. With a quick wave I started cooking. Brian sat there the whole time watching me. It calmed me but it also made me nervous that Gerald might think something was going on. Gerald was jealous which is why I spent so much time in the house because our new neighbor had taking a liking to me and chose to approach me while I was gardening. As I finished up I put everything on the table I felt Brian slip me a piece of paper. I'm not sure what Brian or Gerald do but Gerald has only listened or respected Brian. I wish I was Brian. Brian yelled that the food was done and I finished serving Gerald just as he walked in the room. I turned around and began cleaning as they talked in hushed voices. I'll eat when they leave out the kitchen, he likes to make sure I don't eat too much so I try not to eat around him. As I finished I heard the door slam and foot steps coming my way. I tensed up, " Hey Melody it's just me, we are leaving, read my letter I'll be back tomorrow and Gerald is going out of town he has some people watching but they will leave when I come back." I nod my head and turn around, he stood there for a few minutes before walking away. Once I heard the door close I released the breath I didn't know I was holding. After I finished eating and cleaning I went upstairs and took a shower as I picked up my clothes to put them in the dirty clothes hamper the letter fell out. Dropping everything I sat down with my back against the tub and opened the letter.
" I loved you before and I love you now wether you decide to give me a chance or not I'm going to help you out of this. We can discuss it when I come back.
-B"
I know that I like Brian but he is dangerous I can see it when he spaces out I know he will never hurt me well I hope but he was the one I was supposed to be with. I allowed what other people said about him to make me shut that down. And Gerald just seemed like the total package. I should have saw the signs he rarely hit me up when we were dating only to fuck. We never really went on dates and sometimes he would snap at me then apologize and tell me how he has so much going on, in those moments he was like a wounded animal and I wanted to save him. I cracked my window I was feeling dizzy all of this was making my head spin.
"Did y'all here the boss is stepping down and Gerald thinks it's going to him but really he already gave everything to Brian."
" Good, cause that nigga Gerald fucking loco. You ever catch a glimpse of his girl she straight gorgeous and that nigga don't know how to act. The only one allowed around her is Brian and knowing Brian heart eyes ass he bout to be Mr. Steal yo girl."
" y'all stupid y'all know damn well Brian can't handle that. She got a body on her, a pretty face and she sweet as shit hell I'm still trying to figure out how Gerald pulled."
"All I'm saying is if Brian get it and Gerald try to do some fuck shit cause he mad I got Brian back hands down."
After that they all hummed their agreement and started talking about some event. If Gerald loses to Brian friend or not he will be pissed and he might seek revenge or take it out on me. Maybe even both. What the fuck is going on hopefully Brian can answer all my questions tomorrow cause I don't think I'll be able to handle what's to come. With that I get my stuff off the floor burn the letter in the sink and go to bed.
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Let me know what you think.
