In control

Part 6

I was in this place where my feelings were all over the place. I thought the purpose of getting away was to put me back in control and I'm not. My emotions are definitely winning. It's two in the morning and in case your wondering what was in that envelope just know it's what's helped to put me in this fucked up state. But I have a plan Brian is great and all but at this point I don't want anything from him. No at this point I want revenge. I want Gerald to suffer slowly, I want him to see how it feels to have everything ripped away from you till you have nothing left but a shell that once was. I knew where I was going to start and I knew where it would end. I was a woman on a mission and like the bad bitch I'm becoming I was going to take everything I want and more. Game on bitches.

I don't want to panic but there is an arm on me. I just got away I knew he wouldn't fall for it. If I can just reach into the night stand were I put the knife I can escape. As I'm reaching over the body shifts and I freeze. Looking down I notice two things. One this arm isn't the chocolate arm I was escaping from no this arm was white and two I recognized every single tattoo on this arm. Turning around I smacked the shit out of him.
"Damn, Melody what was that for I told you when I would come."
"Fool why are you on me and why you still got your nasty ass pants and shoes on in my bed, really Brian I know you know better."
"Good morning to you too. I was too tired and the way you was backing your ass up on me you would think you knew that you was cuddling with someone."
" I was asleep I can't control my actions. Now why are you in my bed." He looked at me like I was crazy.
"This the only place with furniture and I was tired. I don't understand what the big deal is you act like I'm not trying to make you mine anyway." Rolling my eyes I got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. I'm just going to brush my teeth and wash my face then quickly take a shower so I can go to this surgeon. Walking out of the bathroom with my hair down sweats on and a baggie shirt with heels on I grabbed my purse and looked at Brian. Who was sitting on the bed ready to go.
"After I get checked in you need to come back cause some of the furniture is being delivered today." I told him as we walked down stairs. He just grunted his understanding, I ain't got time for nobody attitude or feelings but my own. Hell I need to get my own shit together.
If this nigga sigh one more time.
*sigh*
"What's wrong with you?"
"I just don't get it."
"Don't get what"
"Why you won't just do it"
"Why do you want me to so bad"
"I need this, I can't explain it but I'm willing to give up everything in order for you to do it."
Sighing I looked out the window, that's what scared me the most. How do you go from having this man that the world tells you you're supposed to be with and getting your ass beat everyday. To having someone willing to give you everything and he only wants one thing in return. On one hand I knew that it could help me with my plan and the grand finale but on the other am I really becoming that fucked up. At the end of the day Brian is my friend and I owe it to him to figure shit out first.
We had finally arrived at the doctors and at this point I'm so all over the place I can't wait for Brian to leave so I can think. I get were he is coming from but both of us need to figure some shit out.
Hell. That's what I felt like. It wasn't too bad but it was a little worse then one of Gerald's beatings, so it was safe to say I felt like shit. The doctor had literally redid everything and taken away every scar or mark I had. He even removed a few moles and had a tattoo artist come in to give me a birth mark on my arm. He did such a good job I was beyond excited to see everything after I was all healed especially my face.
It's been two months I'm all healed and my training is going great. Brian isn't training me this badass girl name Sydney is. I love Sidney and her girlfriend who comes by sometimes to bring us lunch. Brian isn't that much of a fan cause he says she flirts with me but she only doe it to piss him off. We always do training outside and I've definitely gained some more color and ya girl is loving it. My ass is looking good I'm gaining weight and muscle and I know my actual ass looks good cause I always catch Brian staring at it when he thinks I'm not looking. Honestly all around I'm good. Sydney helped a lot with my confidence and mental mind set. She found out around the time we first started training what was going on when I broke down. I just felt so weak and I didn't understand why I had even wanted this when he wouldn't do anything but win. Now I'm almost stronger than Brian in hand to hand and I'm definitely better than him at shooting. The other day we did a "obstacle course" and the first challenge was knife throwing and I did okay but I'm still working on it. Then we did shooting and I definitely caught up and finished before Brian did and lastly we had to run to the ring to fight. Thankfully Brian didn't hold back in fear of hurting me cause I definitely had some bruises but I did manage to catch his lip but he did this weird ass move and ended up winning I need him to teach me that one. Right now I'm making us some food cause I'm hungry and I might as well make him something too.
"Honey, I'm home!" I heard as the door was slammed shut. I let him take me on one date now he keeps calling me honey and baby.
I didn't respond cause I'm sure he knew where I was. I grabbed my plate and sat down to start eating. Walking in he looked at me kissed my forehead and made his plate. As soon as he sat down I knew something was off.
"What happened?"
"Don't get mad but..."
"First of all when someone starts a sentence off like that then they know someone is going to get mad. So what is it?"
"Well we have to go back to New York."
Panic, that's all I felt I mean I know I'm stronger and I look different plus my hair was now a bright as red but could I really face him. What if he recognized me as soon as we walk in.
"Gerald knows I'm in a serious relationship which is why I haven't been back to help him cope but my uncle is throwing a huge event and it would look weird if I went without my lady on my arm." Brian has done so much for me and I owed him this but I don't know if I was ready.
"I... Sydney needs to be there I can't guarantee that you will be by my side through the whole thing so I want Sydney there." He nodded his understanding and agreement. Getting up to get something he stops me.
"Where are you going are you mad at me."
"No it's just time I started paying you back."
As soon as I walked back towards the table he knew what I had did. These papers used to haunt me now it gives me hope.
"I signed it."
Sliding it over to him he looks them over.
"So I guess this means......."
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This is how I view the old her except darker

For the new her it's this body shape

But this is the person I think of face and curl pattern wise