Chapter Thirty eight:

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Music: Señorita - Shawn Mendes, Camilla Cabello

Date: July 8th 2019

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Y/N

I kept my head down at dinner. Jeff and I didn't speak at all. We were both clearly annoyed at each other. He had no right to be mad at me though-

Like bitch- if you have something to say then say it to my face... I knew I was being hypocritical, but I was too mad to give a damn.

I still felt like I had my heart ripped out of me. The little trust and bond we had built was teared apart.

It wasn't just anger I had though.....I was.. disappointed..and sad.

I wanted to cry every time I thought about him. Even if I knew that my tears weren't worth it.. I couldn't control it.

I was in the kitchen alone. Night had fell upon us again. When the mansion had gone silent, I reached in a specific cabinet.

I felt a bit guilty, but the despair still blinded me from making right choices. I grabbed the bottle and a cup.

I sneakily headed outside to the forest. I sat down onto the cold grass and popped open the metal cap, cutting myself in the process.

It stung really bad. It wasn't a deep cut, but still hurt like a fire truck. The moon once again was out, shining like never before...

I gave a sharp exhale.

I wasnt a drinker... I knew what others would think if they were watching me right now-

I GET IT MAN- I can't become a Jeff..I KNOW I KNOW.

My heart ached. Jeff. Why?.. eventually I began to realize that the anger wasn't directed specifically towards him... i has just convinced myself in blaming him for all the nasty emotions I had.

The foul smell of alcohol hit my nose. How did he drink this? I just wanted a moment of relief...

I poured a bit into my cup and gulped it down immediately to ignore the taste. I scrunched my face up in disgust.

"Nope nope!" I hissed as I put the cap back on and put the cup far away from me. The taste was too bad for me.

I groaned in annoyance and laid down onto the grass. My head hurt like hell. The more I thought about it the more I began to feel like I was about to cry.

He cheated on me?... I took a deep breath. Maybe.. maybe there's more to the story??

I began to breath harder as the tears welled up. There has to be more to know..

My head began to spin. I assumed it was the effects of the alcohol. I let it take over my mind as I closed my eyes.

Time seemed to fly by, everything began to blur out. It was so hazy...

So...hazy...

Author(third person pov)

Killer Love (Jeff x Reader)Where stories live. Discover now