things I didnt have time to tell you

chapter three _ facing the fact

Veronica's POV
Jughead's suicide was the hardest thing to believe.I had seen suicidal people, they had cuts,some of them used to talk about death and things like how worthless is life but Jughead, he wasn't like them; he used to smile all the time and I didn't think that he might have problems specially in that period of time. I mean his father became the sheriff, he had his sister back and he could finally live in a real house instead of a trailer. He got all he wished and then killed himself ? It doesn't make sense. On the other hand, Archie said something that made me more confused. He said Betty shouldn't know about jug but why ?
After school I drove to the hospital. When I arrived Archie,fp and Jughead's sister were eating lunch at the cafeteria and I could see a great grief in their faces. I walked to them and sat on a chair next to Archie. I said " I'm sorry to hear that Mr Jones. Jughead is a tough guy and I'm sure he can make it "
Archie said " Ronnie, there's nothing we can do about Jug, he's pretty damaged and you can't even believe how bad his situation is "
"How bad?"
"Really bad Ronnie. He's totally paralyzed "
"OMG you mean he can't walk anymore?"
" I wish I could say that but it's much worse. He can't move any part of his body except his eyes "
In fact, Jughead and I were never close but even he wasn't my friend, he was a human and no one deserves such a thing. I couldn't control myself when I heard about him and I broke down at the middle of hospital. Archie tried his best to calm me down but he was worse than me. So, at the end we were all crying until FP yelled "enough ".
We stopped and he continued "Jughead tried to kill himself because something was bothering him and whatever it was, it's just 100 times worse now. You guys should be helping him instead of crying because we don't want him do it again. I know he can do nothing but I don't want my son live the rest of his life thinking about suicide. If you really wanna stay by his side, you should stop crying. RIGHT NOW!
We were in a big shock that we forgot what we were sad about. There was a deadly silence among us until doctor Smith came to us. He told us that we could visit Jug because he was awake and then we all rushed to his room. He was awake but the meds they gave him were very strong and he was trying hard to keep his eyes open. We sat on chairs and after about 30 minutes ,Archie ran to Jug and said "Hey Jug are you ok? Dude can you hear me?"
I stood up and saw him panicking. He was definitely scared and couldn't breathe, he was kinda choking. As soon as Archie ran to call doctors, he started seizing. Thank God he was so lucky that doctors arrived soon and They sent us out. I just couldn't believe that it was happening. My friend was dying in front of us and all we could do was nothing even after FP's speech we weren't allowed to be sad .
I was distracting Jellybean because among all of us she was the saddest, she was the one who found him and she couldn't handle it all.
I was 8 o'clock when Fred joined us. I stayed there for a while and then I home because my mom kept calling me and also FP asked me to go home and rest. For the last time I went to Jughead's room and watched him from the window, then I just left

Archie's POV
It was near midnight when doctor let us visit Jug. This time we decided to go one at a time; FP was busy comforting JB and that's why I saw him first. I went to his room and saw him staring at door with tears falling from his eyes. I sat next to him, hold his hand and said Hi; but he didn't say it back. He closed his eyes instead and another tear drop fell on his cheek. I said "I read your letter dude, you were right, I didn't deserve to see your death but you think this is what I deserve to see? Do you really feel better now?"
"I ruined it Archie, I ruined everything in my life. Now I can't even move a finger of mine or even my head to look at you when you're talking to me. I just want to know a thing ,why did I survive?" He started sobbing then
" Hey Jug, I don't want to say it's gonna be okay but I'm sure you will get used to it "
" get used to what? The deadly pain inside my body "
"Sorry man I just don't know what should I say "
"Something real. Tell me I'm paralyzed but for the God's sake don't say it's gonna be fine. Now live me alone with my problems "
" ok, I'll go but before I leave, what should I say to Betty?"
"Oh Arch you are the master of saying unreal things. Just tell her I left the town forever "
" ok. By the way I'm out if you needed anything "
" Bye Archie "
And then I left his room and let JB in

Jughead's POV
I woke up and first I thought I was in heaven however it wasn't heaven, it was worse than hell. I tried to wake up and I couldn't; I tried harder and I couldn't again; I screamed and the doctor came in. He gave me something like painkiller and then he sat next to me. He told me what happened to me and what should I do with my paralyzed life. I had to spend the rest of my life in a bed with lots of things hooked up to me. I couldn't eat or even breathe on my own. The doctor said that I had to stay there for a week to get ready for my new life and that was their program:one surgery per day, one for a portcath placement, one for a feeding tube and it's better not to talk about the others.
I was was extremely angry and I behaved Archie like a piece of trash but when JB came in, I couldn't do the same thing. She was crying so hard and it broke my heart. Although I wasn't able to move but I had enough space for her on my bed. I said "Hi JB. Why are you crying? Come here darling "
She got closer and lay on bed with me. She said "Does it hurt Juggie ?"
" Of course not babe. I'm totally fine, just need some rest "
" Don't lie to me Jug, I know what happened to you "
" you're right but that's okay JB . Maybe we can't do funny stuff anymore but I'm still your brother; aren't I?" She nodded then continued " I was the one who found you last night and I thought you were dead. I still think it's a nightmare but nobody wakes me up"
" I wish it was JB ,I wish "
We kept talking together until dad came. At first he didn't look at me. He told JB to go to pops with Archie and when she left he took a seat. I didn't dare look at him because I had made him embarrassed. He said " How do you feel son?"
" I don't feel anything dad ,except pain "
"Do you want me call a doctor?"
" No, it's ok dad "
" it's going to be a hard week for both of us but I am sure you can make it. Please don't lose your hope Jug "
" dad, will you do something for me?"
"Anything son "
"I want to go home "
" you can't. It's doctors order "
" just take me home " then I started crying and he left the room to talk to my doctor. I was on morphine and it was hard to stay awake, so I closed my eyes for minutes till dad came back. He said the doctor accepted my request and he also mentioned that it's going to be more painful but I had no choice. I just wanted to go home.

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