I'm yours, forever.

Part Seven.

New York City, October 1918.

I was always a boy who hated my father he was always a drunk coming home just crashing on the couch and not waking up for hours. It made me so upset at the fact that key mum was able to put up with that for so many year. I made an agreement with my self that I would never be that person. A drunk and an asshole. 

When I was eight years old I remember my father went to a different pub out of our town just to try it and he took me with him. At eight years old you don't really understand much so I went along with it thinking it was a really nice restaurant but when walked in it was men and women just dancing naked and men hitting women. Listening to them screaming and moaning I covered my ears and my eyes imagining being at home watching jerry lewis episodes on repeat. I couldn't get the sound or the pictures out of my head. it was a strip club. My father hand idea what he was doing as he was drunk before we even got to the pub so he practically forgot I was there. Luckily when I walked in the owner who was a biker stopped my father and told him to take me else where as this wasn't a place to bring children understandably. Of course my father threw a punch to the mans face and ended up getting beaten to the point where his teeth were completely out of his mouth. I was horrified at eight years old you shouldn't being be seeing things like that at all or anyone for that matter. 

When we got home my father couldn't even keep up straight. That night I remember my mother running up the stairs quickly packing her bags and grabbing me in the middle of the night and driving off leaving my father, the drunk in a big empty home all to himself. 

At my ninth birthday party at my favourite restaurant my father walked in, in his best suit and begged my mother to forgive him. He used his 'I'm sober' card on mum. It didn't work on me but worked on mum. I cannot believe she believes this mongrel he is a dirty, grumpy drunk and I cannot stand the sight of him at that very moment I moaned in agony from the verbal pain he was putting through. His speech was. lame and he was ruining my party. Disgusting.

Skip almost 11 years later he hasn't changed. He did lie to my mother. He is the grumpy drunk I remember as a child. My mother is still so in love with my father that she cleans uphill vomit after being so drunk for days, she gets the couch ready for him to crash after hours of drinking out with his friends and puts up with his ridiculous fights he starts all because he just wants to. Cant wait together married and treat my wife like she should be treated unlike how my father treats his wife. 

Being a husband is about being loyal, kind and putting in all your very best effort make your partner happy and same goes for the wife she should be putting in the same effort as the husband but of course my father being who he is, he doesn't care and most likely never care. 

I wish my mother would open her eyes and see how my past affected my future. The past she chose to give me affected peoples opinions about me, affected her and affected having a father around. I don't even want Addy to meet my father because he is a grumpy man and will tell her that love does not exist and that anyone who goes on the hunt to try find love is a loony. Of course Addy knows thats not true but I feel as though that Addy might see me in another perspective and may see me in the future that way. A drunk and lifeless monster. I know she. wants to meet my father but until we make it offical and get engaged in the future and are really sure we want to keep this going forever I don't think this is the right time. She way change her mind.

I hope that one day my father will wake up to himself and realise he has not only ruined my past and my future but has also ruined his. My past is something I never want to ever talk about with anyone because this might affect the way people see me. I must keep it locked inside and hide it for the rest of my life.