All But One

Chapter 40

I pull into the parking lot of my school. I'm not used to arriving without Ruby, and her absence forces me to bottle in all the feelings that swirl through my head. I've never seen someone I care about so beaten and broken. It hurts me just to think about it. 

I'm angry at Hakeem's father for treating him so poorly, but I'm mostly upset that Hakeem had to experience it. I think about how lonely he must have been in the hospital with no one to visit him. The thought brings back my frustration with my mom. She knew and chose to keep it from me. 

I rest my head on the steering wheel, forcing myself to take a few calming breaths before I exit the car. 

I step out into the cold, letting the cold air calm my anger. By the time I reach the front doors of the school, I've effectively pushed all my negative thoughts to the back of my mind. The thoughts are still very present, but they aren't as aggressive as earlier. 

I force a tight smile on to my face as I pass through the small groups at the entryway. I keep to myself as I proceed to my locker. 

I'm surprised to find Damien leaning against it, staring directly at me as I walk towards him. 

I wait for him to say something as I open my locker. His stare burns into the side of my face as I grab the books I need for my morning classes. When I realize that he isn't going to speak up, I close my locker and turn to him. 

"What is it, Damien?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him. 

He simply stares back at me, taking a moment to look me up and down. The discomfort I get from his gaze causes me to cross my arms over my chest. 

"Okay. Great chat." I say, after a few more moments of tense silence. I turn away from him and begin walking to my first class of the day. 

Unfortunately, I hear his footsteps trailing behind me. He catches up in two effortless steps and walks beside me. 

"So, you and Hakeem, huh?" He finally says. 

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" I ask, ignoring his question. 

"Nope." He says, popping the 'p'. "Where is he? Probably being a loser somewhere. right?"

The image of Hakeem on the hospital bed comes back to the forefront of my mind, bringing  my suppressed emotions with it. 

I stop walking and turn to face Damien. I feel my eyes narrow as I step closer to him. I lean towards his ear and whisper, "You've only ever seen my good side. Don't make me change that." 

His eyes widen, and I take that as my cue to turn around and head to my class. 

I feel a weight lift off of my shoulders as I let my feelings resurface. It's much easier to accept that I'm feeling upset than it is to pretend I am okay. It's okay to not be okay, and I won't hide it any longer. 

With that in mind, I take my seat in class. 

As the teacher begins the lesson, my mind drifts back to Hakeem. Since I don't have to go back to the law firm today, I plan to stop by the hospital and keep him company. I can bring him snacks and things to keep him occupied. I'm not exactly sure what he's into, but I assume he'd rather read than stare at the hospital ceiling for hours. 

Thinking about spending time with him after school brings me a sense of calm. I hope my actions can help him feel better. I want him to know that I'm here for him throughout all of this. 

I use a blank page in my notebook to write down the items I want to bring for him, later. 

By the time I write the last item down on the list, the bell rings. I pack up my belongings before following the rest of my classmates out the door. 

On my way to my next class, I see Ruby and Zaria walking hand in hand. I feel my eyes moisten upon seeing my best friend, who isn't talking to me, laughing with someone else. I want to walk up to her, link my arm in hers, and be carefree with her. I miss having the support she always gave me; especially now that I really need it. 

"Roxanne." 

I snap out of my thoughts and find Zaria standing in front of me. 

"Hi, Zaria." I say. 

"My dad just texted me saying that a very important case came in this morning." She says. "So, see you at 4." She adds, already walking away. 

"What! I'm not scheduled for today." I call out, but she doesn't turn around. 

I take in a deep breath and run my hand through my hair. I refrain from tugging at my hair, and instead press my fingernails into palms as I walk in the opposite direction of Zaria. 

The excitement of working on a real case at a law firm is tainted by the idea of abandoning Hakeem at the hospital for another afternoon. Knowing I will be working with Zaria doesn't help, either. 

Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do, so I sit in my next class and try to focus on the lesson. 

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Hi everyone!

I wish I had an excuse for why this is so late, but life has just been rough and I was struggling to push myself to write. But, I'm trying a lot harder now, so I can finish this book for you guys. 
Thank you all for the support you've given me through this whole process. I really can't believe we're at 14.7k reads! I'm so grateful for the votes and comments you all leave, as well. They help motivate me to write when I'm not feeling up to it. 

We're only 14 votes away from 1k! So, if you've been liking the book so far, leave a vote! 

Thank you guys again. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Gaëlle
xoxo