Γνώση || Klaus Mikealson

Chapter 28 - "The preparation"

Back in the days, where the things that gave me anxiety were exams, I used to spend the night before trying to sleep. Needless to say, I'd be able to sleep at least two or three hours, just enough to survive the day. I've tried different things to induce sleep because I knew that, as I enrolled in uni, I couldn't keep up with this kind of lifestyle. I've tried to drink camomille, hot milk, to wake up very early in the morning thinking that I would be exhausted by the evening; I even tried to listen to something that relaxed me. Nothing had worked of course. What always happened is that I would anxiously think about the millionth possible scenarios until my mind would tire out so much that I would fall into a deep slumber.

Now, I hadn't had exactly the time to process the idea of everything that was going to happen tonight. So much could happen, so many people I didn't know, so many reasons to be nervous. That's exactly why I don't go to a lot of parties, you see. Have I already mentioned that I'm not very good in social situations?

Well, it's true.

There was also another reason why I was thinking so much at this. Actually, it was because of two people but I think you've already guessed it. I hadn't spoken to them in so long. The last thing I told them was to leave me alone and to go fuck themselves basically. Was I still mad at them? I don't know. Maybe mad wasn't the right word. I was very disappointed in them but at the same time, I kind of knew that something like that would happen. I mean, we're talking about Klaus after all. But that's exactly why I kind of understand where he's coming from. Even if I've proven countless of times that he could trust me and that I wouldn't do anything to harm him or his family, wasn't it the same process that the people who had betrayed him underwent? Made him trust them only to hurt him and betray him. You see, thinking about it, the reason was telling me that yes, he'd done something bad but not that bad to make me cut all connection with him. Given the kind of bond I share with his family.

The same logic applied to Elijah. I was even more hurt and not mad at him at the same time. Hurt because I've let him in and told him things about me that no one knew.  On the other hand, I was not that mad at him because I knew that he was just indulging Klaus' paranoia. Also, when I caught him on the phone he was telling Klaus that what he was doing was wrong.

So really, I should put this situation behind me and go on worrying about more important things. Would my family accept me? Would they think I'm weird because I was raised like a human and they're all gods? How do I greet my supposed dad? How does one behave when meeting the first time a man who was supposed to raise you and instead gave you away?

As you can see my mind wasn't a quiet place as of the moment.

"Don't you agree, Cass?" Rebekah's voice brings me back from my daydreaming but sadly I hadn't listened to a single word she had said and by the lost look I gave her I think she gathered that.

"You didn't hear a word I said, did you?" she points out annoyed

"I'm sorry Beks, it's just that I have so much on my mind right now." I confess

She stops what she's doing to my hair and puts the brush on the vanity, looking at me through the mirror.

"I know that this night is very important for you, but you don't have to worry. You're going to be just fine. Most of all, you don't have to keep your worries to yourself, you can share your problems with me. It's better than bubbling to someone who's not listening."

"I'm worried that something is going to go wrong. I mean, I literally know four people and I'll have at least a hundred unknown faces who are going to observe me, to scrutinize me, waiting for me to do something wrong. I'm not good with these things Beks, I'm going to make a fool out of myself." I vent after a moment of hesitation