one last chance // Quentin Mcconathy

Let me explain

I know that this story has been finished for quite some time now but I though I would put this on here as well as on my other active stories Incase you read those.

The past 3 months have been the hardest of my entire life. I'm going to try and put what I'm feeling into words but I don't know if I can or if it will make sense.

On May 1st I lost my best friend of almost 13 years. Some of you may think I'm like 12 but I actually turned 15 on May 27th. May 1st was the worst day of my entire life, no other days come even close to it.

I didn't lose a human best friend, but mans best friend aka a dog. We put her down because he tumors were growing back and she was starting to have heart problems.

She was almost 13 years old in human years and was the best dog anyone could ask for. She was always giving people kisses and didn't bite anyone. She didn't beg for food and didn't get in your personal space unless you wanted her to.

She went blind when she was around 11 and went deaf in one ear a little bit after that but that didn't stop her from having a good time. She would still play fetch and hunt squirrels on the backyard whenever she was let out long enough.

She was my hero. She was always there when I needed her. She helped me through my anxiety and depression and even stayed by me when my own sister wasn't acting like I existed. She was basically a therapy dog and acted as my emotional support animal.

On May 2nd we got a new couch in our living room which really hurt me because she would only sit in one spot on it. It was a l shaped couch and she would sit at the very end that was like the foot rest spot.

My parents also started talking about getting rid of the recliner which was her spot. Nobody sat there while in the living room because that was her spot. They only sat there if she was on the couch.

A week after we put her down I lost my rose earrings. They were the earrings that I would always wear because she was my Rosie. When I didn't have rose with by my side I had the earrings and that helped me emotionally to know that she was there.

One of my friends made a memorial poster for Rose, putting a bunch of pictures of her on it with her name in big red letters. She had also put her dog down that day so I made a photo album of pictures of her dog to give to her which made me cry even more because we both lost our best friends.

Flash forward to May 27th, my birthday. The entire day was terrible. I didn't have school because it was Memorial Day and all I could think about was Rose. That ended up being the worst birthday of my entire life.

The next day, May 28th, was Roses birthday. She would have been 13. At school that day I said 2 words throughout the entire day. My lab partner in my science asked why I was being unusually quiet and my friend that sat in front of us had to turn around and tell him why because I couldn't do it.

The entire day I was on the brink of tears. Since it was nearing the end of the school year we didn't do anything, besides in math when we had a God awful final, so I had nothing to take my mind off things.

I go through the rest of May and I'm getting better until June comes, which means summer. I don't have a job yet because you have to be 16 where I live so I had all day to do whatever. And usually I hung out with Rose all day.

When I realized that I couldn't anymore I broke down in tears again. The entire month of May and June I cried myself to sleep.

In July it got better. My friends came back from vacations so I could hang out with them. Until they all went to their other parents that don't live here houses.

I quickly fell into a depression again and stopped doing things. I would only eat once a day and wake up at noon everyday. I stopped going to things that I enjoyed and instead stayed in bed all day.

Now it's August and I've got things to do again. Volleyballs starting next week and I'm playing fall softball. School is starting next month too so I'll have more distractions.

It happened over 3 months ago but I'm still feeling pain over it. I've had pets die before but I wasn't attached to them as I was with Rose. I know that she was just a dog to some people but in my eyes she was like a human.

We got her ashes and I talk to them almost every day as if she was still here, like she never left.

I close the bathroom door at night and when I'm going somewhere so she doesn't end up locking her self in. I make sure random objects that she's not familiar with are off the ground so she doesn't trip. I make sure all the bedroom doors are closed when we're not home so she doesn't get stuck.

It's been 3 months and I can't break the habit of doing all those things for her. I know it takes time but it kills me to know that I don't have a purpose for doing it anymore.

I just wish that I didn't take the time I had with her for granted. That I stayed up the extra ten minutes to let her outside the night before for the last time. That I took her on a walk the day before even though it was pouring. I wish I got more pictures of us together instead of just her. I wish I gave her more treats, and took her on more walks, and gave her more baths because she loved them.

If somebody asked me if I would go back in time to save her and have her live longer I wouldn't go. Because she had been suffering for so long that it wouldn't be fair for her to suffer so I had more time with her.

In March I went to Washington DC for a school trip. I called home every night to check and see if things were ok. I knew that she was getting worse I just didn't know it was getting worse so fast.

When I got home from dc my parents told me that we didn't have much time left with her. I ended up having a month and I took that month for granted.

What was supposed to be 300 words turned over 1000 so I'm going to get to what I've been trying to explain this entire time.

I'm healing. I need to give it time. I haven't been writing as much because I've been giving myself time to heal. I've only started reading again about 2 weeks ago. I published parts to one of my stories but I wasn't totally with it so they're not great.

What I'm trying to say is that over this next month I'm going to get back into writing. I'm going to start writing more chapters and hopefully get back into my once a week thing I had going on 2 years ago.

That's all I had to say and if you're still reading I'm thanking you for getting this far.

I have one last thing to say before I finish this:

Please, don't take your time with the ones you love for granted. You might not have as long of time left as you may think. So I'm begging you, let them know that you care and will always be there for them.

Thank you and good night.