sue me | joshler

THIRTY SIX

when josh got home from school that day he went straight into his room and climbed in bed next to his dog. today was a very hard day for him, to say the least.

seeing tyler was always hard for him, but today was the worst it has ever been and it mentally drained josh. a lot of things have been mentally draining for josh though.

he missed tyler so fucking much. so much. it was pathetic how often he would sit on their texts, fumbling up the courage to text him. josh never did it though. he would also watch the videos of them that were hidden in his memories and would sit and think about their times in detention. it made him bawl his eyes out but he still did it anyways.

josh was utterly heartbroken and he hates himself for letting him get so destroyed by it. by tyler. he so badly wants tyler to hold him again but he also doesn't know if he can fully forgive him, at least not yet. it was the second worst heartbreak he's experienced. the worst thing was that his baby sister, his favorite person in the world still wasn't talking to him. it breaks josh's heart everytime he thought about it.

he didn't mean to lash out on his sister, but he did and he can't take it back no matter how many times he tried. abbie was his rock. they had been attached to each other ever since his mother brought her home.

not being able to stand it anymore, josh climbed out of his bed and walked out of his room. abbie's room was right across the hall from his and he saw her playing with her barbies. josh took a deep breath before he entered.

alfie, abbie's teddy bear was laying on the floor. josh hesitantly grabbed it and sat down in front of abbie. she locked eyes with him for a brief second before looking away and started to play with her barbies again.

josh frowned and looked at the bear before putting it over his face. "hi. this is alfie here." he spoke to her.

a look of confusion appeared on abbie's face but she still ignored him.

"josh just wants to say he is sorry for yelling at you and being a bad bubby." 'alfie' apologized.

"bears don't talk." abbie responded quietly. josh laughed slightly and sat the bear down before looking at his sister again.

"abs, will you please look at me?" josh asked gently.

she complied and looked up at her brother with a scowl on her face.

josh gathered his thoughts before speaking. "I am so sorry I yelled at you. I didn't mean it. I was really sad. I know that's not an excuse but just know I would never purposefully yell at you. I'm sorry." he apologized.

abbie's face softened and she pulled josh into a hug. "s'okay bubby." she whispered into his chest. josh's eyes watered and hugged her back tighter.

"I love you." he choked out.

"love youuu." abbie sang out as she released from his grip. she looked at his sad eyes and kissed his nose. "still sad?" she asked him curiously.

josh gave a small nod. "yeah. I'll be fine though. nothing your pretty red head needs to worry about." he laughed as he ruffled her hair.

after a while of playing with his sister, he stood up and walked downstairs. he had a few more people to apologize to as well.

he saw his family all laying on the couch together watching a movie. he grabbed the remote and paused it and took a seat.

"I haven't really been the best son or brother lately," josh started.

"yeah no shit." ashley said which resulted in a slap to her arm.

josh gave her a dirty look before continuing. "as I was saying, I know I haven't been all that great to you all and I apologize. things have been absolute shit for me and I had no right to take it out on you. you guys didn't deserve that." the brunette apologized.

his mom gave him a sad smile. "we know baby. I'm not saying it's okay because it's not but we all understand you're going through a hard time right now. we will always be here to support and love you."

tears rolled down his cheeks as he pulled each of his family members into a hug. "I love you all so so much." he sobbed.

"we love you josh, even if you smell bad." jordan told him.

—

later that evening, josh had just finished showering and was finishing the last of his homework when his friends walked into his room.

josh looked at them and cocked his head. "what are you guys doing here?" he asked while pushing his glasses up from off his nose.

mia smiled. "we already asked you mom so don't even say anything but we are here to snuggle you with love and food." she told him.

darren grabbed the pancakes they got from ihop. "we got you your favorite." he gleamed as he handed josh the box filled with cinnamon pancakes.

what seemed like the hundredth time that day, josh broke down in tears.

"you guys didn't have to do this for me." he sniffled.

"um yes we do boo bear! we love you." hayley said as she plopped down next to him and kissed his cheek.

"we know you're going through a lot and wanted to show you how much we appreciate it you. also we are sleeping over I hope you're okay cuddling with me tonight." darren said smirking.

josh rolled his eyes. "i'll let it slide just this once only because I love you. thank you guys. you 3 are the best people in the world. I don't feel as if I deserve you." he answered honestly.

mia dismissed it. "yes you do honey. we love you too. now, shall we watch mean girls?"