Chapter 15
MARRON
Trey is the one I'll always burn in hell for.
I am biting on my lower lip, trying to keep myself from moaning and crying out loud. My whole body is shaking with pleasure consuming my entire being. My mind is clouded by the sensations I thought I could never feel again. After years since I broke up with Trey, I never imagined that we'll share the same bed once more.
"Love." Trey called then he lifted my hips a little more, hitting the right spot as he thrust himself inside my core. He knew me so well, and this body memorized how should it react to him.
My toes curled as I reached another mind-shattering orgasm. Pang ilan na ba... lima? Anim? I lost count.
My eyes were tightly shut and I felt it when he slowed his pace. He groaned and I know why. He told me how he loved it whenever my walls clenched around him as I am riding my sweet release of pleasure. He loves how my core pulsated on him. He loves to feel my body shaking with ecstasy and lust.
Trey placed pillows beneath me. He opened my legs and I gasped as played my clit with his fingers. He's still inside me, slowly easing himself in and out.
"T-Trey..." I weakly called him.
I am starting to get drowsy. And I can't feel my legs anymore. We've been on this round for over twenty minutes now. He should be having his release now so that I can take my rest.
"Tired, Love?" Trey gently asked. He leaned over then gently caress my cheeks with his thumb. I forced myself to open my eyes and I saw how happy he is while he's looking down at me.
I know this is wrong. But I don't have the heart to take away that smile. After all this years, I still want him happy.
After all... I am still in love with him.
"I love you, Marron. And I will love only you." Trey dropped three gentle kisses on my lips then he resumed moving in and out of me.
My eyes rolled upwards as he quickened his pace. And before I felt his glorious climax, I fell asleep.
Nagising ako sa sinag ng araw na tumatama sa mukha ko. Nananakit ang katawan ko at mahapdi sa mata pero pinilit ko na bumangon na. Napansin ko na may suot na akong komportableng damit at mukhang naliguan din ang katawan ko. 'Di ko maiwasan na mapangiti. Trey never changed.
"Love, I ordered brunch for us. Gigisingin na din sana kita."
I looked at my left. Kalalabas lang ni Trey ng banyo. Bagong ligo at naka-jeans lang. He's sweetly smiling at me.
Nahihiyang nagbaba ako ng tingin at pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko. Mali ang nagawa ko. I am with Frigate now. Malaking kasalanan na sumiping ako kay Trey.
"Marron?" Trey called out.
I sobbed. "This is wrong. Tapos na tayo, Trey. Si Frigate na ang boyfriend ko ngayon."
"Marron, ako na lang ulit. I know you still love me." Trey tried to convince me.
I shook my head. Lakas loob na tinignan ko si Trey. I saw desperation in his face. "Hindi, Trey. Frigate doesn't deserve this."
"If he doesn't deserve this, then I can accept you and all the flaws Marron. Mamahalin kita nang buong-buo!"
"Shut up!" I cried harder. "I love Frigate."
"If you love him, what about me? We made love!" Trey insisted.
Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na alam. Pwede ba na dalawa silang mahal ko?
"Tapos na tayo." Iyon lang ang nasabi ko.
Good thing that I am dressed. Kahit masakit ang katawan ko ay nagawa kong tumayo. Trey stopped me by the arm.
"Please, Trey, h'wag mo na akong pahirapan. Mahal ko si Frigate." Nagmamakaawang sabi ko at tinanggal ang kamay n'ya sa pagkakahawak sa akin. Tuluyan ko na s'yang iniwan sa silid n'ya at nagmamadaling lumabas ng hotel.
"God, Marron! You're making your life complicated." Pagalit ko sa sarili ko habang naghihintay ng service na maghahatid sa akin sa terminal ng bus.
"Marron?"
Napakurap-kurap ako at pinilit ang sarili ko na mag-focus sa lalaking kaharap ko ngayon. Nang makabalik ako ng Manila ay umuwi ako sa V mansion at nag-ayos ng sarili. Tinawagan ko si Frigate para makausap s'ya. Ayoko na patagalin pa na sarilihin ang guilt ko dahil baka maduwag pa ako.
"Sabi ko, bakit nandito ka na? 'Di pa tapos ang anniversary 'di ba?" Bahagyang tumawa pa si Frigate bago sumimsim sa iniinom n'ya na kape.
Nandito kami ngayon sa coffee shop kung saan nakita n'ya ako na umiiyak n'ong bumagsak ako sa board exam. Naging paborito na namin dito dahil sa memories.
"Frig, maghiwalay na tayo." Matapang at walang paliguy-ligoy na sabi ko.
Kita ang gulat at pagtataka sa mukha ni Frigate habang nakatingin sa akin. Kalmado na ibinaba n'ya ang tasa n'ya sa mesa at seryoso akong hinarap.
Pinigilan ko ang mapaiyak. Wala akong karapatang umiyak sa harap ni Frigate. "I was with Trey and I tainted our relationship. May nangyari sa amin. I don't deserve you anymore. You don't deserve someone like me."
Mahabang katahimikan ang namagitan sa amin at nakikita ko ang sakit at galit sa mga mata ni Frigate. Nararamdaman ko na ang pangingilid ng mga luha ko, pero tinibayan ko ang loob ko. Wala akong karapatan na umiyak dito.
"Mahal mo ba ako?" Frigate asked in a serious tone. "Mahal mo ba ako, Marron? O s'ya pa din ba?"
Hindi ko nagawang sumagot agad. Mahal ko si Frigate. He's a good man. He's right for me. He's the balance I need. But deep within me... my body, heart, mind and soul is singing other man's name. I love Frigate, but Trey has claimed my whole being.
"Mahal kita." That's an honest answer. "But, I know that..." I bit my lower lip. Hindi ko na kaya na pigilan pa ang mapaluha. I can feel the lump burning my throat. "I am not confident with myself that I won't do that again." I cried. "Because I tried, Frigate. I tried resisting him. I tried but I failed. I tried hard but I am still drowning in him. I'm sorry."
I bowed my head and I did my best to hide my tears. Why does this hurt so bad.
"Hindi, Marron. Nasanay ka lang kasi sa kanya."
My lips parted and I lifted my head to Frigate. He's forcing a smile. Akala ko ay namali lang ako ng rinig.
"Ang importante ay mahal mo ako. I know we can work things out. Mawawala din s'ya sa sistema mo. I will help you, Marron. Mahal mo ako. At mahal na mahal kita. Our love can make this work. Kaya h'wag mo nang isipin ang kasalanan mo, okay? I forgive you."
Natameme ako. Hindi ito ang inaasahan ko. Ang alam ko ay magagalit s'ya sa akin. Worse is ipapahiya n'ya pa ako dito.
Hanggang sa magyaya nang umalis si Frigate ay natutulala pa din ako. Ang alam ko ay maghihiwalay na kami ngayon. Pero. Heto s'ya at niyayakap pa din ako.
"I love you, Marron. And as long as you love me, I will love you unconditionally." Frigate whispered then he gently kissed my forehead.
Inihatid ako ni Frigate sa V Mansion. Kahit nang mag-isa na ako sa silid ko ay natutulala pa din ako. Hindi ako makapaniwala.
I am not breaking up with Frigate to get back with Trey. I am expecting that I'll be alone. Parusa na sa sarili ko ang maging mag-isa. Makasalanan ako at hindi ako karapat-dapat sa pagmamahal. Pero si Frigate...
Mabuting tao ba ako para mabigyan ng ganitong pagmamahal?
Mahal ako ni Trey. Mahal din ako ni Frigate. Mahal ko sila pareho, pero si Frigate ang hindi ko kayang saktan sa kanilang dalawa.
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01 September 2019
