Who Falls Shorts

Mabel's Guide to Dating

"...And that concludes Mabel's Guide to Fitness. With Waddles, the Jog hog. You want that sundae? You gotta jog for it, jog hog! Look at his little shorts."

"Mabel Today: Mabel's Guide to Dating!"

"As we all know, I'm a dating expert, thanks to Doc's handy tips! In fact, I can't get the boys to leave me alone!"

"Cutout Mabel, I love you so much, baby. Why won't you let me in to your life?"

"You know what you did, Zack! Today we're gonna test the date-ability of three of Gravity Falls' swingin-est bachelors. Soos!"

Soos jumps in, "Get ready to fall in love, America! Am I, am I looking at the right camera?"

"Dipper!"

"Who are you even making this for?"

"Grunkle Stan!"

"I'm only here 'cause you promised bacon." Mabel throws bacon and Stan eats it. "I'm pacified!"

The Doctor chuckles.

"And now for a simple over 9000 question dating quiz, with special guest: Doc!"

Soon, Stan, Dipper and Soos are in the living room taking Mabel's dating quiz.

"Should men always pay for dinner?" What is this, Russia?" Stan questioned.

"Not a bad question, actually..." The Doctor muses.

"How many kids would you like to have?" Seven, preferably. That's one to love every day of the week." Soos stated.

"Hmmm..." The Doctor wistfully hums.

"How do you treat a gal?" Huh. Well, hovering nearby and laughing at everything she says obviously. Nailing this." Dipper smirks.

"Well, in the end-they shoot your fez and Stetson...more worse than your head almost getting chopped off..." The Doctor sighs.

"While they're busy working, we give you, "Animal Dating!"

A montage of Mabel forcing two of several kinds of animals to date plays in the break. Then cuts to a sign written "Results!" as Mabel stands in front of the contestants.

"Grunkle Stan, on a scale from one to five, you scored a three."

"Yes! Yes!"

The scene pauses and a "Datable" stamp is stamped on Stan.

"This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers and convicts."

"I still consider this a victory." Stan deadpans.

Mabel walks to Dipper. "Dipper. Your score is...Eesh! You know, scores don't really matter. You just need to focus on being you."

The scene pauses and a "Questionable" stamp is stamped on Dipper.

"Soos, on a scale from one to five you scored.. a twelve?"

Soos whoops, "My grandma was right all along. I am the world's most perfect man!"

Soos gets spotlighted and three birds fly at him. The scene pauses and a "Total Hunk" stamp is stamped on Soos.

Final Thoughts from Mabel:

"Love is all around us. And if it seems like you two aren't the right fit, force it! Oh, no! The squirrels! They're back! Aaah!" The squirrels attack Mabel. Mabel picks up a stuffed rhino. "Save me, Mr. Rhino! Save me!"

The Doctor walks up, "Oh dear-SHOO!"

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