I looked up at her, she was staring at me.
"J-Jasmine, I-I..."
She looked away from me. I knew I caused this. If only I was brave enough to tell her how I feel, then none of this would have happened.
And the both of us would have been happy...togeth...
I woke up with drool on my pillow and hair in my face. I sat up in bed and hit my alarm sending it flying across the room. "Another day of hell. Yay!"
I rolled out of bed and walked to my bathroom. I tugged on my shirt and threw it on the floor. I looked at myself in the mirror. I thought about what Jungkook told me yesterday. "I mean who in their right mind would want you as a girlfriend. They just have to look at you and they run away screaming. You're an ugly pig."
His voice ran over in my head. Over. And over. I looked at myself in disgust. Tears fell from my eyes as I scratched at my face. Scaring my cheeks. "Why the fuck do I even exist, just die!"
I punched the mirror in frustration causing it to crack, showing a deformed face. I grabbed the sink with my hands and bawled my eyes out. I watched as the blood dripped down from my knuckles into the sink.
*Knock knock* I quickly wiped away my tears with the back of my hands and sniffed. I walked to the door and opened it. It was my younger brother standing there with a concerned look on his face.
"You okay sis?"
"I'm f-fine Kai...just tired"
He nodded slightly and I shut the door. I walked back to the shower and turned it on. I finished undressing and stepped in. Feeling relaxed as the hot water hit my back.
_____
I finished and got dressed
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I just put some clear lip gloss on and walked out of my room ——————— I walked downstairs and saw my mum in the kitchen. She was cooking bacon and eggs "Morning mum!" " Hi sweetheart, how was your sleep" she said poking the bacon with the wooden spoon "Okay...I guess." I replied bluntly She handed me my plate of food. I took it and kissed her cheek. She gave me a smile and patted my arm. I walked to the dining room
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Where my little brother was munching away on some pancakes. "Leaving soon?" He asked "Yeah, just gonna eat..."
That was a lie. I never eat my food. They say I'm too fat. Just because I'm not skinny and have some meat on my thighs doesn't mean I'm fat. But I guess people see me differently than I see myself.
————— I finished my food but ran upstairs to my bedroom. I stuck my finger in my mouth making me heave. I threw up in the toilet. This was a regular thing I did. I think I have bulimia but I'm not diagnosed. I brushed my teeth and poured some mint mouthwash in my mouth. I swished it around in my mouth, then gargled. I spat it out in the sink and ran down stairs. *ring ring* *ring ring* I grabbed my phone out of my bag. Caller ID: 💕Bestie M🤪 I answered the phone 📞 "Hello"
"Bitch I'm outside"
"Kay Kay I'm coming" "Bye"
"Byyyyee"
I opened the front door and saw Mandy's car.
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It was raining. I jogged up to the car and opened the front door. But I stopped. "Hey guurrll" Many squeals. "H-hi Mands" I was intimidated by Jungkook sitting in the passengers seat on his phone. "Jungkook sit in the back" she demanded. "No.. she can sit her ass in the back" he said glaring at me with his doe like eyes. "Don't say that you idiot" he just rolled his eyes and looked back down at his phone. "It's f-fine Mandy, I'll sit in the back" She looked at me to make sure I was sure. I nodded and shut the door. I opened the back door and got in the car. Mandy started driving. "So...have you got a boyfriend yet Jas?" "N-no...I haven't...not yet anyway." Jungkook snorted. "How could she, she looks like a fucking horse." I felt my face sadden and my heart started to hurt.Mandy slapped him over his head. "Get out you dick" "No it's raining" I felt like crying. I know it might not be a big deal but it's gotten to me over the past few months. I feel sadder than ever. Ugly. Unwanted. Like a broken toy. Just an object. They don't see me as a human being anymore.
"M-mandy, can you stop the car please?"
"W-what why?" "I-I just...want to walk..." She knew I was upset but it was raining. " But it's raining Jassie." "I know, I have an umbrella." I lied to her. She nodded and unlocked the door. I opened it and got out holding my bag strap. Before I shut the door Jungkook shouted out to me. "Good doggy!" I slammed the door andwalked in the rain. I didn't really want to live at this point. I mean I know I'm loved but if I can't be with someone...relationship wise, then what is the point. What is the fucking point.
Hope you like it, this is my first story on here.😊
