Letters To Kyle

Chapter 12

Important author's note: This chapter contains mentions of suicide

Kenny's POV

I left school after Kyle helped me calm down. I didn't go home. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to go home or really talk to anyone.

I walked to Stark's Pond. I've been going there for peace since they incident that happened this past summer. I sit on a bench remembering what exactly had happened... Or what I could remember at least.

~Flash back~

I looked down at my lap. No matter what I do I'll just come back. I'll just fucking come back. Day after day after day.

I started the engine, and started driving. I started going fater and faster and faster. I close me eyes.

Maybe this will be my last death.

I felt my body hit against the seatbelt as the car hits a tree. I knew I fucking forgot something. My head hits against the steering wheel, and the air bag comes out.

"Kenny no!" A crash could be heard followed by an alarm. "Don't die on me Kenny!" I feel someone tug on my arm, and my version starts to blur. I look at a shadow above me. I can see the outline of a person.

I just don't know who. "Who-"

"Don't talk Kenny. Don't sleep or die on me alright?" They say in a calming manner.

I nod, but what's the point? I start to black out. When I woke up I was in the hospital. A bandage was around my head, on my nose, and my left arm.

I hear the door open to see Craig Tucker. "Oh you're awake." He flips me off. Of course.

"What... What happened?" I played dumb.

"You crashed into a tree." He stated in his monotone voice.

"How did I end up here?" I asked.

"I saved you..." He trailed off as he looked away from me.

"Thanks Craig."

~End of flash back~

Thats when I noticed I was crying again. He should have just left me there to rot, and come back. I hugged my knees, and looked down. "Who even fucking cares?"

"I do." I looked up to see Craig. He was avoiding eye contact with me, and his hands were in his pockets.

Kyle's POV

I walk into the locker room with Tony in front of me. He walked over to one of the showers, and started stripping.

I blushed, and he turned the shower on. "You going to shower Kyle?" Tiny asks tilting his head to one of the other showers.

"I uh in a little bit. I'm going to go finish up some decorations before i do... That way I don't have to take two showers." I say nervously.

"Alright." Tony nods.

I quickly get out of the room, and sit against the gym wall. "Stupid." I mumble while blushing.

"Why yes you are Kahl." I looked up to see Cartman.

"Shut up fatass." I tell him.

"Check yourself Kahl. Check yourself." He smirked, and then it faded. "Why are you covered in paint?"

"Tony." I mumbled looking at my phone. Two messages from Here2Help and BlondieGirl.

BlondieGirl: Remember to keep my secret, and I'll help you find a boy 😘

I rolled my eyes at Bebe's message. My finger hovered over Here2Help's messages. "You going to click it or not Jew boy?"

I glared at Cartman who was now sitting next to me. I looked back at my phone. It was two messages. A short one, and one that seemed to be a letter.

Here2Help: Kyle.... I am the one who's been leaving the letters...

Here2Help: Kyle I'm not writing the letters to mess with you. I really do love you. I want to wake up with you every morning, and hold you every night. I can't stop thinking about you, the way you talk about something you love, and just everything about you.

I do like you. Actually no, I love you. Many times I wondered what it would feel like to hold you against me. Continuous nights I think of you. Amazing was just a word until I realized my feelings toward you. Together is what I hope we can be one day. Million thoughts of you run through my head each day.  A boy and his crush... Never going to happen, right?

After all. How can you love me? I'm just a worthless faggot.

I looked at the messages, and kept reading them. I didn't know if I should cry, throw my phone from anger, or both. "Kahl?"

"Not now Cartman." I hugged my knees. They called them worthless and a faggot. If they call themselves that I wonder what they will call me. Fuck I'm most likely never going to find out who they are!

"Kyle." I feel a hand on my shoulder. "It's alright." That's when I notice I'm actually crying.

Cartman hugs me, and for once I'm happy he's near me. I wouldn't want Stan to see me like this... Or Tony. I see picture of him in my mind smiling at me with his hand out for me to take. He seems so kind and gentle towards me, and yet... Something doesn't seem right about him.

I pull away from Cartman, and wipe my tears. "Thanks Cartman." He nods, and gets up.

"Go take a shower Kahl." He walks off, and out of the gym. He really has changed over the years.

Tony walks out of the locker rooms in his gym clothes. "You going to take a shower Kyle?"

"Oh uh yeah." I walk into the locker room as Tony leaves the gym walking outside.

I take my clothes off, and get in the shower. A lot has been happening the past few days.

I still feel some tears go down my cheeks. "Who the fuck are sending me those?" I whisper.

After I get done showering I put on my gym clothes, and go home so I can wash my paint stained clothes.

I unlock my front door, and hear strange noises coming from upstairs. "I-it hurts Ike." I stopped in my tracks. Who was that?

"Sorry Firkle." Well there goes the answer. "I'm almost done." Done with what exactly!? I walked upstairs, and heard more strange noises and a little bit of moans coming from Ike's room.

I slammed the door open to see the two middle schoolers playing Twister. "Oh hey Kyle! How was school?" Ike smiled. Firkle looked like he wanted to be anywhere, but here.

"Hell." I replied, and walked downstairs.