Finding Emily

{Chapter 10}

  Going home wasn't easy. She wanted to pick up her luggage and run again the moment she got into her Dad's car and started towards home. The place looked the same, but everything was so different. Being back meant she would have to learn to live with those differences. This was her life now. Emily was gone. Becca felt tears in her eyes as her Dad talked about what had been going on while she was away even though she already knew from Steven. Her Mom was back home and doing better. For now anyway, she thought but didn't say.

  The cops weren't telling them much of anything about the case or any potential suspects. They occasionally called to ask questions about this or that, and they wanted to talk to Becca when she had the time. She knew it was just going to be about Emily's sex life as it always was. They didn't say it, but she knew they suspected one of her ex-boyfriends or random one night stands. Becca couldn't imagine it being any of them even though she never really liked any of Emily's boyfriends that much, and she let Emily know it when she was alive.

  "You going to be okay kid?" Delcan asked as they cruised past city limits. "I know it must be tough coming back... but we missed you. We didn't send you away because we didn't want you here or anything. Your Mom was worried you might feel like that since you haven't answered any of her calls."

  "I know," Becca said honestly. "I just didn't know what to say back. I'm sorry... I should have talked to her, but I felt scared for some reason."

  "She missed you so much," Delcan told her. "She's not mad at you. I think she gets it. We're just glad to have you home, and your friends all called and wanted to greet you at the airport, but I wasn't sure if you were up to that or not."

  "I'll see them tomorrow at school anyway."

  "Are you ready?" He asked.

  "No, but I need to do it. I want to finish my senior year with my friends."

  He gave her his lopsided grin. "That's my girl."

  She watched him the rest of the drive; he was thinner like the rest of them, and his once golden tanned skin had gray tinges to it that she hoped would go away when summer rolled around. It was bleak outside. The snow that fell a few days before was turning into slush, and it was wet and soggy out as she and her Dad pulled up in front of their house. It looked the same too. She felt a pain go through her. She didn't want this. She didn't want to go back into this house and continue living as if nothing had happened and without Emily. It seemed wrong.

  "Uh... your Mom is thinking we might consider moving in the future," Delcan said as if reading his daughter's thoughts as they stood by the trunk of the car and looked at their house that Becca lived in her whole life. "In town of course, but maybe somewhere quieter with fewer neighbors."

  Becca would have hated the idea in the past, but now she nodded. "That might be good."

  "I'm not sure, but I'm more than willing to go if it helps," Delcan said and cleared his throat. "But I brought all three of your kids back here from the hospital, and Emily took her first steps on the front yard. Her door is still covered in scribbles and stickers...."

  "It wouldn't be abandoning her, Dad. She's not here," Becca said, and she regretted saying it the moment it left her mouth. It sounded a lot more cold than she meant it to be.

  He nodded as he quickly made himself busy getting out Becca's luggage. "I know... it's just this was our... her home."

  Becca felt like crying as she followed her Dad back into her childhood home that smelled like despair and mourning somehow. It was quiet; the only sound being the television in the living room. Her Mom as camped out on the couch and her large duvet over her. She beamed as she saw her daughter and beckoned her to come give her a hug. Becca practically threw herself in her mother's arms much like she'd done to her father at the airport. It might be hard coming home to all of this, but that didn't mean she hadn't missed them more than she could ever express.