Finding Emily

{Chapter 25}

  The trip was an amazing experience for both of them, and they arrived home in fresh spirits and full of stories to tell plus lots of pictures. Becca used to look forward to coming home more than the trip itself, but not this one. Traveling had made her feel alive even though she occasionally felt a pain her heart as she saw something she knew Emily would have loved to see – all of it really. It made her cry a few times. It was so unfair that Emily didn't get the chance. 

  Becca made sure to drink it all in for her little sister's sake, and she went down to the cemetery the day after she got home and told her all about it. She'd never admit to anyone that she still talked to her sister, but it comforted her. They had a light in front of Emily's grave now to hopefully scare off any kids who might think of vandalizing it again. Thankfully no one had although the little items they left were often stolen, but Becca stopped feeling angry after a while. Who cared? She would just bring more.

  Becca walked home, and she was thinking about curling up in her bed and taking a long nap when a car suddenly slowed beside her. She was shocked to see Tasha's face staring at her from the driver's seat. She looked different. Her hair was shoulder length now, and her eyes looked almost dead unlike the lively, funny Tasha Becca remembered from school. 

  She and Tasha had never been especially close – they were great friends, but Tasha preferred hanging out with Lenny or Jenna. They loved each other though, and Becca missed her. It seemed like she missed a lot of people these days. Sometimes she and Star talked about how it seemed like their lives were now completely different, and how sad it was that these people who meant so much to them were now hardly ever there – or there at all.

  "Can I talk to you?" Tasha said after a minute; the car idling.

  "I guess so," Becca said, but she didn't want to get in the car. She still had fears of getting into cars with people – even ones she knew – though she was fairly sure Tasha wouldn't hurt her, but she was paranoid. Her therapist said that it would get better with time. Star and Becca looked at their trip as a form of therapy as they made themselves do something scary and new, and being around all sorts of people. Plus they needed something fun and interesting. They now had a bunch of good stories to tell.

  "You can get in," Tasha said after an awkward pause as the two girls stared at each other.

  "I'd rather not," Becca admitted; she might as well be honest. "The park is right over there. I'll meet you at the old picnic tables."

   "Alright," Tasha said although she looked hurt that Becca wouldn't get into the car. "See you there."

  Becca walked while Tasha's car took off towards the park. Becca thought of going straight home instead, but she figured she should get it over with. Obviously Tasha had something she wanted to get off her chest, and she was a good friend for so long. It wasn't as if she hurt Emily or known anything about Brian. She couldn't help but feel bitter towards Tasha though. Hadn't she seen anything? She was his twin, and they lived in the same house. Then again Becca figured she could say the same thing about herself and all her other friends. He and Jenna were right there. How had they missed it? How had she sat next to them all year long and not known?

  Tasha was sitting on the picnic table already as Becca approached; the dread building in her stomach with every step. Tasha was wearing jeans and a collared shirt with Green Solutions stitched on it. Clearly she had a job and what looked like her own car. She seemed to be doing okay.

   "Hey," Tasha said.

  "Hey," Becca said as she sat down a few feet away from her once best friend.