Finding Emily

{Chapter 11}

   Becca thought about skipping school since she stayed up so late, but she didn't want to get into that routine again, and yesterday had been her first day back. She didn't want people to talk. She wanted to show them that she could still live her life even though she wasn't quite sure that she could, but she was just going to fake it until she got back on her feet – whenever that would be, she thought. She showered, got dressed, and she was surprised when Star pulled up in Mom's red pick-up.

  "My van broke down," Star said duly as Becca got in.

   "Are you okay?" Becca realized Star had been crying; her eyes were red.

  "Kyle and I broke up," Star said after a moment and stared straight ahead. "He dumped me. He asked me to go home with him last night, and he broke the news to me out on his porch. I wasn't expecting it at all. I was even thinking about sleeping with him finally because you told me about you and Patrick, and I felt so immature and silly compared to you and Quinn but..."

  "He said it was best we didn't," she said in a small voice. "I told him I was ready and everything, but he said that wasn't the issue so I asked what was, but he just shook his head and said it was complicated. I said bullshit, and he said that he didn't love me and that he was sorry. I was like... what do you mean you don't love me because you've told me a million fucking times that you do, and he gave me the whole 'I love you like a friend' spiel... and I just had enough so I left, and I drove the van home and then it broke down on the highway. It was a perfect fucking end to a perfect fucking day."

  "I'm so sorry," Becca said as Star reached for her best friend for comfort.

  "How could he do this?" Star asked into Becca's shoulder. "I thought things were getting better. I thought things were looking up for us, but then... this. I felt like he just smacked me in the face. It came out of nowhere. I know we weren't the perfect couple or anything, but... he's just the kind of guy I've always wanted to be with."

  Becca understood as she always felt the same way, and she felt like Judas as she comforted Star who finally calmed down enough to go to school. Kyle didn't sit with them at lunch, and Becca only saw the back of his head as he went into the gym to play basketball with some friends that included Thomas. Star was in a bad mood all day and would randomly burst into tears and try to make Becca hide in the girl's bathroom with her, but Becca had a lot of work to catch up on, and she didn't want to be caught skipping class on her second day.

  "Do you think there was someone else?" Quinn asked Star as they sat around Star's bedroom after school and watched the soaps that Star dvr-ed every day.

  "I don't know," Star admitted. "Maybe because it didn't feel like he was giving me the whole story. He tells me it's complicated, but then he tells me he just doesn't feel that way about me. What is complicated about that? I don't know who it could be though. He's always surrounded by girls so it could be anyone."

  "Exactly why it didn't work with us," Quinn said knowingly; still in her skinny jeans and elegant gray vest over a men's white dress shirt from school that day while Star and Becca changed into their comfiest pajamas. "Not that it was that serious to begin with, but it was so annoying how they always seemed to be there and like there was one waiting in the wings the moment you stepped out."

  "Well, they can have him," Star said with a huff of a laugh. "Good luck with that fucking bastard."

  "Exactly – good riddance to him," Quinn said and gave her friend's hand a squeeze. "You were too good for him anyway."

  Star almost smiled at that. "Well, that goes without saying. We were both too good for him. Hey, where is Jenna? I thought she was coming to our girl's only after-school summit?"