Finding Emily

{Chapter 27}

  The next semester made Becca feel like a real college kid as she went to parties, she hung out with Star all the time, and she spent as much time possible with Jamie. They were a couple, but they were in no rush to move in together or anything too serious. It gave her a peaceful feeling knowing he was content with where they were in life and being young adults together. She always felt like she was making Kyle settle for less than he wanted. 

  He was already moved in with an older girlfriend, but then he moved out and in with another girl a few months later according to local gossip. He looked like a different person every time Becca caught a glimpse of him, and it made her sad. He didn't look happy. She knew he was trying to find himself through other girls and convinced that every single one would solve all of his problems and make him a better person. She was only one of a crowd. She'd loved him, but she couldn't pretend she wasn't glad he wasn't in her life right now. She didn't see how he could ever be again which hurt less and less every day, but she was sure would always make her heart ache a little.

  She talked to him a few times, but she never sought him out, and he never seemed to be looking for her either which she was grateful for. They talked once in September when they ran into each other at a frat party. Jamie didn't want to go so he spent most of the party jokingly complaining and then getting drunk with a few friends and playing with cans of silly string someone brought to the party. He ended up having way more fun than she did. She was mostly bored so she decided to get a drink and ran straight into Kyle. His beer sloshed all over her front, and they didn't know what to say for a moment before bursting out laughing. She noticed he had two tattoos on his arm now – two small sparrows in bright colors.

  He asked how life was going, and she could tell he was trying to keep it casual, but his eyes fell to his shoes when she mentioned Jamie. It was obvious that he wasn't happy about the news. She felt slightly miffed as Jamie always treated her well, and Kyle had no business being upset about who she was dating. It was awkward after that, and she could tell he wanted to get away from her as fast as possible. She made up an excuse, and they said their goodbyes with promises to see each other later that wouldn't be kept. 

  She found Jamie after that, and he was covered in silly string now and grinning from ear to ear as he spotted her even though they'd just seen each other ten minutes before, but he was always thrilled to see her. She never got tired of that look in his eyes and the smile on his face.

  "Kyle was walking out of the party and called me a 'cocksucker' and something else under his breath," Jamie told her as he wrapped his arms around Becca's waist.

  "Yeah, I told him we were dating again."

  "Ah!" Jamie said. "I don't think he likes that."

  "I think you might be right. I'm surprised he even cares."

  "He still loves you," Jamie said simply. "And he's probably spending every day regretting what he did. I know I would be although it won't ever happen because I'm never going to mess this up, and the only way you're going to get rid of me is by dumping me yourself."

  She smirked. "I'm not going to do that. Ever."

  "Good to know."

  She always reminded herself that Jamie probably had insecurities about their relationship after she'd broken up with him out of the blue a few years ago. She tried her best to show him that it wasn't going to happen this time. She was committed and secure in their relationship, and she was happier than she'd ever been. She knew he trusted her most of the time, but sometimes she saw that worried glimpse when she hung out with one of her guy friends.