I Confess - Ironstrange

Alone on the Balcony Without You

Tony's POV

I didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't know what choice I had just made. Why was I acting so stupid and weird. 

Leaving Stephen for Pepper? Just because I wanted kids of my own, when I already had a kid waiting for me. I couldn't just give them up like they were nobody's. 

As I lay in my bed, I tossed and turned but couldn't find myself to sleep. I tried breathing exercises that Stephen taught me but I couldn't find myself to drift off. So I pulled the covers off of me and got out of bed. 

I looked around to try and find something to take my mind off of him, off of this weight that I was carrying. Then the balcony came to my sight, I sighed, then headed out to the balcony. 

The cool breeze hit my face as it pushed back my hair letting me take in a deep whiff of city air. I glanced down at the bench where me and Stephen sat on the night we shared our feelings for one another. 

I smiled sadly as I remember that being the best night of my life. I sat down hesitantly then gazed up at the stars. They were so beautiful, so stunning like tiny crystals glimmering from a moonlit lamp. 

As I attempted to focus on each and every star my mind kept racing to Stephen, and why I treated him like that. All the stars that aligned began to look like him, the smell in the air began to smell like him, and I wished oh so badly that he was here next to me. 

I wished that I was nuzzled up close to him and we were both staring up at the stars, like the night we confessed. 

"Why was I so stupid?" I sobbed into my arms, covering my face with my hands. I knew even if I wanted to see him again, there was no way in a million years he would ever want to see me. 

After that recording where I had to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y to impersonate my voice in order for the recording to go through since I couldn't stop crying. 

Just something about leaving Pepper hit me. She's always been there for me, and was the first person I ever realized true love was. The fact that I had to just leave her and all of our memories for someone I cheated on her for felt wrong. 

But Stephen, oh Stephen. He was the first person I have ever felt I wanted to be with 24/7. The love of my life, someone I was comfortable with talking to about anything. Absolutely anything. 

Did I make a mistake? Should I have been with Stephen instead and left Pepper?

My mind began to flood with regrets and things that I should have said and shouldn't have. Then the worst began to happen. 

It rained. 

The clouds stormed over me, as the rain flooded down pattering onto the floor and onto me. I starred up into the sky as I let the rain trickle down my face and onto my clothes. 

I love rain. Or I loved rain. I only loved it when Stephen was with me. I remembered the time when we said I love you  in the pouring rain just like this. 

I missed him. So much. 

I began to stare down below me. Where I could see people going about with their night, never even once thinking if someone could be having the worst time of their life. They're too caught up in theirs. 

I stood up, then climbed on top of the barred fence that was keeping people from falling off the balcony. I glanced down at the drop. 

About 135ft in the air. 

Enough to kill a person. Enough to kill me. 

I looked over at the city one last time. The beautiful New York city and it's wonderful buildings. I never had the time to look at the city this way until now, what are the odds.

I took a deep breath.

Then stepped forward into the endless drop....